Talk:Tuvalu Trust Fund/GA2

Latest comment: 6 years ago by MozzazzoM in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: Mike Christie (talk · contribs) 16:25, 4 January 2018 (UTC)Reply

I'll review this. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 16:25, 4 January 2018 (UTC)Reply

  • There's a dead link: see here.
    Footnote 19 is dead; can we get an archive link for it? Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 16:04, 4 February 2018 (UTC)Reply
  • Why do we get out of date accounts of the fund's value in the lead? I can see it might be worth giving some history of the fund's change in value over time in the body of the article, but surely all we need in the lead is a recent value statement?
  • Can we get more information on how and why the fund was set up? The first sentence in the "Contribution to the Tuvaluan budget" is helpful, but it doesn't give any insight as to why the countries involved felt they should do this. Were these countries in some way responsible for negative effects on the Tuvaluan economy? Is this colonial guilt? Simple charity?
  • There are four long quotes, which don't seem necessary; quotes should illustrate the article text, not replace it. There doesn't seem to be anything about these quotes that requires them to be given verbatim. Can they be paraphrased?
  • Why do we have a table of data just from 2010 to 2014?
  • Why is the 2013 data an estimate, but the 2014 data apparently not?
  • Some of the information seems a bit haphazard and repetitive. For example, the last sentences of "Contribution to the Tuvaluan budget" give a specific example of one year in which the money was used as part of the budget, as if this was exceptional in some way, but the paragraph above says that the fund has contributed about 15% of the budget every year, so it appears there was nothing unusual about the 2013/14 budget.
  • The A and B accounts are defined in the "Structure" section, but the terms are used repeatedly above that point. I think the article needs to be restructured a bit. I would suggest either making it strictly chronological, starting with whatever pre-1987 discussions led to the fund being created, and then stepping forward through the events and numbers, defining the A and B accounts at the point you explain the structure of the fund; or else starting with a definition of the present-day account of the fund, giving its value, current contributors, percent of current budget, and anything else relevant such as legal restrictions on use or future prospects, and follow that with historical data such as the creation and performance. I think the former approach would be better, but either could work.

I'll stop there for now; once you've addressed these points I'll take another look. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 16:47, 4 January 2018 (UTC)Reply

@MozzazzoM: are you planning to work on this article? If not, I'll fail this in another week. If you need more time, just let me know. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 11:19, 11 January 2018 (UTC)Reply
@Mike Christie: I will work on the Tuvalu Trust Fund over the next week, which should be sufficient time MozzazzoM (talk) 05:02, 12 January 2018 (UTC)Reply
OK, let me know when you're ready for me to look at it again. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 10:58, 12 January 2018 (UTC)Reply
@MozzazzoM: just checking in; are you still planning to work on this? Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 12:26, 22 January 2018 (UTC)Reply
@Mike Christie: I have been delayed by other commitments. I will complete work on the Tuvalu Trust Fund by 31 January MozzazzoM (talk) 21:34, 22 January 2018 (UTC)Reply
No problem, just making sure you were still interested in working on it. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 21:54, 22 January 2018 (UTC)Reply

@MozzazzoM:: checking in again; are you still planning to work on this? It's been almost a month; I will fail this in a week if there's no progress. If you're busy now you can always renominate it once the points above are addressed. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 00:24, 2 February 2018 (UTC)Reply

@Mike Christie: I have rewritten and restructured the Tuvalu Trust Fund page. The most recent information available to me is the IMF 2016 Country Report. MozzazzoM (talk) 04:28, 4 February 2018 (UTC)Reply
OK, I'll take a look, probably today. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 13:22, 4 February 2018 (UTC)Reply
  • was established for the intended purpose of helping to supplement national deficits: a bit wordy, and "supplement" isn't right -- it sounds like it makes the deficits worse. How about "was established to help reduce national deficits", or "was established to supplement the national budget"?
  • In the first eight years of operation the market value of the FTF: can we give the end date here? It appears to be 2007, but it would be easier on the reader to say so in the article.

MozzazzoM: Just these two points left, plus the dead link mentioned above. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 16:22, 4 February 2018 (UTC)Reply

@Mike Christie: I have rewritten the 2 points and fixed the dead link. MozzazzoM (talk) 00:18, 5 February 2018 (UTC)Reply
Looks good. Passing. Mike Christie (talk - contribs - library) 00:22, 5 February 2018 (UTC)Reply
@Mike Christie: Thanks. MozzazzoM (talk) 05:52, 5 February 2018 (UTC)Reply