Talk:Tropical Storm Meari (2011)

Latest comment: 12 years ago by Hurricanehink in topic Mh review

Mh review

edit
  • 2011 isn't needed
  • "Gradually, the storm became more organized" - what storm? It wasn't a TC yet
  • Why is TCFA capitalized?
  • Where was it when the JMA said it was a depression? That's the beginning of the storm, so that's an important moment.
  • "Tracking steadily northwestward in response to a ridge to the northeast, the depression crossed west of 135°E on June 21 and entered the Philippine Atmospheric, Geophysical and Astronomical Services Administration's (PAGASA) area of responsibility and was subsequently assigned the local name Falcon." - a bit long
  • "Throughout the day, convection around the center of the depression increased and defined banding features developed along the storm's periphery." - I would put "developed" before "defined", since it's ambiguous (when I first read it) whether defined was an adjective or a verb.
  • "Continuing to grow in size, the storm eventually covered nearly the entire Philippine Sea around the time it was upgraded" - the first phrase implies some time passed after the JMA named it, which contradicts the last part. Why not something like "Around the time it was upgraded, the storm had grown to a size that covered nearly the entire Philippine Sea."

Hurricanehink (talk) 18:49, 4 December 2011 (UTC)Reply