Talk:The Immortal (2019 film)

Machine translation

This article, at 4 November 2020, is a machine translation of the Italian Wikipedia article, and as such requires a good 'human' copy-edit for sense, grammar and syntax to make it properly understandable for English speaking readers. Acabashi (talk) 10:06, 4 November 2020 (UTC)

Rv more of a premise section from the plot - not the first time someone tried to do that. Vaselineeeeeeee^★★★ 12:51, 4 November 2020 (UTC)

Thanks for that. Just bought the thing on Amazon, so I might give the plot a go. Acabashi (talk) 11:09, 5 November 2020 (UTC)

Thanks. I have not seen it yet, so that would be appreciated. Vaselineeeeeeee^★★★ 13:17, 5 November 2020 (UTC)

Thanks for the plot addition. It would be great if you could try to keep the flashbacks within the plot itself and not in its own section - also to remind you of 700 words max per WP:FILMPLOT. Thanks, Vaselineeeeeeee^★★★ 17:48, 5 November 2020 (UTC)

OK, didn't know about the length... I'll check that out. I thought of, and played with, adding the flashbacks within the 'present day' stuff, but it made the plot text very complex and perhaps difficult to understand for the reader, but I'll look again. Acabashi (talk) 09:36, 6 November 2020 (UTC)

Thanks. Are the flashbacks critical to the film's plot? Perhaps the most important flashbacks can be shortened, and where they occur in the film write a sentence or two something like "In a flashback, Ciro..."? I'm not sure how much flashbacks are used in the film, but this isn't the first time flashbacks are used, and they are usually succinct enough to incorporate with the actual plot as it's disjointed right now. Vaselineeeeeeee^★★★ 15:16, 6 November 2020 (UTC)

I've reduced the thing to 684 words. I don't want to reduce further for fear of making recasting conciseness 'brutal' (to quote Orwell). There are about half a dozen flashbacks, some shorter, some quite long, which, although pertinent to and explanatory of the historic background, actions and particularly the mindset of Ciro, are not always directly pertinent to the particular action that surrounds it, and the addition of each one by one as the action progresses, might necessitate making the synopsis too much of a bitty blow-by blow narrative timeline, which I believe from guidelines is not what is considered the thing to do. I might add this for more eyes to the Talk for WikiProject Film, of which I know you are a member. I would find this most useful as this is the first film synopsis I have tried. Thanks for your help in this. Acabashi (talk) 15:58, 6 November 2020 (UTC)