Talk:The Idolmaster Shiny Festa

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:The Idolmaster Shiny Festa/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: ProtoDrake (talk · contribs) 13:09, 13 December 2014 (UTC)

I've had no experience with the series at all. I'll take this on. Expect something in a day or two. --ProtoDrake (talk) 13:09, 13 December 2014 (UTC)

Review

Generally looks fine, but there are some minor points to be raised.

• It has been stated in the text that the game received a remaster for PS3. I think the platform should be included in the infobox, as the only platforms there now are PSP and iOS.
  •  Done
• "Like other games in the genre, the player plays the main portion of Shiny Festa '​s gameplay, Stage mode, as he or she listens to a selected song." I think the last section should be changed to "as they listen to a selected song."
  • I think I have to disagree with this one. I am not against using "they" as a singular pronoun, but "he or she" is more grammatically correct. -- クラウド６６８
    • I'll respect your judgement on that.
• There appears to be a slight problem in the use of present and past-tense. In the first paragraph of the Development, the ease of play on the PSP is referred to in the first person. As this platform is/has been discontinued and the game is from 2012, I think past-tense would be better. In the third paragraph, there is a similar problem with the sentence "The PSP games' first printing also include a "backstage pass"". It needs to be changed to past-tense, I think.
  •  Done; rephrased the first one and changed to past tense for the second
• A separate thing from the fourth paragraph of Development; "The mechanics of Shiny Festa was later ported to the PlayStation 3 as The Idolmaster Shiny TV..." - This is just a simple grammar matter: "mechanics" and "was" do not go together in that configuration. It should be "The mechanics of Shiny Festa were later ported".
  •  Done
• Same problems with tense in the music section.
  • Could you point out instances of this? -- クラウド６６８
    • Actually, you can dismiss this point. I was forgetting it was a rhythm game at the time, and looked at from that angle, tense uses aren't a problem anymore. --ProtoDrake (talk) 09:24, 17 December 2014 (UTC)
• Refs 1, 6 and 9 need their urls updating. They redirect to the right pages, but it's still a url format not used by the site.
  •  Done
• Refs 11, 12 and 13 are Amazon Japan. Generally, I've been told that any Amazon site isn't to be used. Unless you have suitable grounds for using them, I would advise finding suitable alternatives.
  • I would agree with you here if the Amazon links are used for proposed release dates in the future, but I haven't found anything at WP:RS/N that's against using them for something as objective as past release dates. The reason why I added those in there in the first place is to provide sources in addition to the official site, which is a primary source. -- クラウド６６８
    • That's alright. I won't be overly picky now I know the specifics of use. --ProtoDrake (talk) 09:24, 17 December 2014 (UTC)

And that's it for now. --ProtoDrake (talk) 10:26, 16 December 2014 (UTC)

Thank you for the review; I was beginning to think this article wouldn't get reviewed until next year lol. I have made some edits to the article for some of these, while I have some doubts about the other ones. -- クラウド６６８ 03:48, 17 December 2014 (UTC)

Thank you for the prompt response. I'll rank this article as a Pass. --ProtoDrake (talk) 09:24, 17 December 2014 (UTC)

Thanks! -- クラウド６６８ 16:57, 17 December 2014 (UTC)