Talk:The Hardest Part (Coldplay song)/GA1

Latest comment: 15 years ago by ThinkBlue in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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  • The image is good because it's free, but it's kind of hard to tell if he's really playing "The Hardest Part", which makes the image less appropriate in my opinion. So, I think it should be removed.
  • "all members" – give an exact number, like "all four members"
  • "The song ... The song ... The track" in the lead; reword them
  • "as a radio only song in" – "as a radio-only song on" – and wait, I don't get it; it was released only for the radio? So it was never released as a track in the UK?
  • "Though," – what's this comparing to? The previous sentence about radio-only release? How are they comparable? This sentence is about a music chart.
  • "in the United States Billboard Hot Adult Contemporary Tracks" – "on the United States Billboard Hot Adult Contemporary Tracks chart"
  • "in the number 37 spot" – "and peaked at number 37" – I assume that's where it peaked, if not, then say where it peaked instead of its initial position
  • "International" – "Internationally" – also, this sentence talks about the Italian and New Zealand charts as international, but the previous sentence talks about United States – which is also international, considering Coldplay is British
  • "well-received" – "well received"
  • "by critics. The song was complimented" – "by critics. The song was complimented"
    • Done and the song didn't chart in any UK charts, thus the song being a "radio only". --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 21:56, 17 November 2008 (UTC)Reply

More to follow. Gary King (talk) 21:37, 17 November 2008 (UTC)Reply

  • Now the lead has "The song ... The track ... The single" – just changing the nouns doesn't change the fact that it follows an almost routine format of "The (noun)"
  • "The single was released as a radio-only song" — "The song was released as a radio-only single" – makes more sense – why does this have a ref if it's supposed to appear later again in the article?
  • "amongst" – "by"
  • "critics. The song was" – "critics and was"
  • "Regional singles were released for Canada, Europe, Australia, and an enhanced version for Taiwan." – "Regional singles were released in Canada, Europe, and Australia; an enhanced version was released in Taiwan." – enhanced in what way? Otherwise, perhaps just say "different" or "unique"? Enhanced is just too vague without pretending not to be vague.
  • The lead's second paragraph could be smoother; the first word is always a noun. Gets boring.
  • "Like the previous single from X&Y, "Talk", had been a tribute to German band Kraftwerk," – "The previous single from X&Y, "Talk", was a tribute to the German band Kraftwerk; similarly,"
  • "R.E.M.." – "R.E.M."
  • "nod to American band " – "nod to the American band " – also, "nod" isn't really a great word; I can't think of another but please replace it; or perhaps "to acknowledge the music style of R.E.M." – along those lines
  • "According to the band, they felt the track resembled" – "The band felt the track resembled"
  • "The song was" – which? The Hardest Part? Or Losing My Religion, which was mentioned in the previous sentence?
  • "list, when" – "list when"
  • "X&Y became finalized" – "X&Y was finalized"

Alright, that's the first paragraph of "Production and composition". I think I should just give a little bit of time for the article to be polished a bit further in general, as some of the suggestions above can be applied to the rest of the article. Gary King (talk) 22:10, 17 November 2008 (UTC)Reply

Production and composition
  • how is http://www.mvdbase.com/video.php?id=49606 and http://www.mvdbase.com/awards.php?award=FIDAC&ed=2006 reliable?
  • http://www.adriandenning.co.uk/coldplay.html ?
  • "referred the song as a" – "referred to it as a"
  • "The song features a piano ballad sound. The song starts with a repeating piano riff, and features a roar of a singsong guitar. The song also includes a slow tempo with the drumming rhythm. The song ends with the band playing the repeated instrument riffs." – no reference, "The song ... The song ... The song"\
    • Due to the fact that the song didn't receive much "coverage", there's no ref. to add the info. with. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 23:58, 17 November 2008 (UTC)Reply
  • "features a roar of" – "roar" can probably be replaced with something better
  • "with the drumming rhythm" – "with a drumming rhythm"
  • "to man" – "to a man"
  • "pleading towards a" – "pleading to a"
  • "though at the same time resents her for leaving him" – "but at the same time resents her for leaving him"
  • the lyrics analysis in general looks like WP:OR to me
    • Removed, since I couldn't find reviews that go with the supposed lyric themes. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 23:58, 17 November 2008 (UTC)Reply
  • "contrasts to in once" – "contrasts with once"

Gary King (talk) 22:33, 17 November 2008 (UTC)Reply

The reference is unreliable unless you can prove otherwise. Looks like a personal website. Gary King (talk) 00:09, 18 November 2008 (UTC)Reply
I know I saw it an FA article, but I'll remove them. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 20:30, 18 November 2008 (UTC)Reply
Release
  • "as the fourth single" – of what album?
  • "a B-side: How You See the World"," – "a B-side, "How You See the World","
  • "Regional singles were released for Canada, Europe, Australia, and a different version for Taiwan." – same as lead
  • "In Europe, the single that followed, "What If", was released instead of "The Hardest Part"." – no reference, and what does this mean?
  • "on Billboard's Hot Adult Contemporary Tracks" – "chart"
  • "chart in the" – "chart on the"
  • "Italian Charts" – "Italian charts"
  • "the single charted in the" – "the single peaked on the"
  • "Afterward, the song peaked on the New Zealand Charts"
  • "A music video was filmed in support of the song." – in support? perhaps "to promote"
  • "The band essentially plays beside" – "In the video, the band plays beside"
  • "an act of athleticism" – what specifically?
  • Expand "Reception"

Gary King (talk) 00:14, 18 November 2008 (UTC)Reply

Done and there's no more "reviews" for the Reception. Like I said, this song wasn't popular. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 20:30, 18 November 2008 (UTC)Reply
Try not to use only quotes from reviews; some of it should be paraphrased. There are some reviews that review X&Y but also comment on "The Hardest Part", even if only with one line. Those could be useful. Some examples: PopMatters, Rolling Stone. Gary King (talk) 20:51, 18 November 2008 (UTC)Reply
Done. --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 21:35, 18 November 2008 (UTC)Reply

The article in general needs to be smoothed out. It doesn't flow very well. For instance, the lead is "'The Hardest Part' ... It ... The song ... The track ... It ... The song ... 'The Hardest Part' ... The single ... The song". "Production and composition" is the best-written section in the article. In "Release", about the music video: "A music video ... The video ... In the video ... The video" Gary King (talk) 21:57, 18 November 2008 (UTC)Reply

How 'bout now? --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 22:22, 18 November 2008 (UTC)Reply
You gotta double-check it. Just take your time. "Built around a piano and electric guitar sound." is not a full sentence. No Depression (album) is a pretty good article that could be used to compare with. Gary King (talk) 19:46, 19 November 2008 (UTC)Reply
Now? --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 22:27, 19 November 2008 (UTC)Reply
Okay good enough. Passing. Gary King (talk) 03:50, 20 November 2008 (UTC)Reply
Thank you very much. :) --  ThinkBlue  (Hit BLUE) 15:14, 20 November 2008 (UTC)Reply