Talk:The Grinning Man (Jonathan Creek)/GA1

GA Review

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Plot

Jonathan is still in the employ of the magician Adam Klaus, however Klaus' television series is receiving heavy criticism from viewers.

This is a run-on sentence.

Production

Renwick also directed the episode, which was produced by Nerys Evans - Jonathan Creek's former director Verity Lambert having died in November 2007.

First of all, using "also" isn't really logical, since the proceeding sentence isn't really connected to the sentence before it.

Also, saying "X having died" is rather awkward. Maybe: "Renwick also directed the episode, which was produced by Nerys Evan; Jonathan Creek's former director Verity Lambert died in November 2007." (and maybe a little explanation as to why he died?)

Actor Alan Davies had suspected that Renwick may one day revive Jonathan Creek, explaining that Jonathan's fate had been left open, unlike Renwick's other famous character - One Foot In The Grave's Victor Meldrew, who was killed in a hit and run in the show's last episode.

You already refer to Davies previously, so I don't think there's any need to say "Actor Alan...". Also, it would be better to say "Renwick would one day..."

Renwick suggested that they include Davies' weight gain in the plot, presenting the character as having "gone to seed", however Davies did not want to play a "fat Creek".

Again, a run-on.

Davies grew his hair out again for the role,[6] and wore his own duffel coat throughout the episode; the same coat which became the character's trademark in the show's first series.

A semicolon seperates independent clauses. Having "which" in the part after the semicolon makes it a dependent clause. In other words, remove "which", and rewrite the sentence if need be.

Other than that, I think this article is very well-done, and a few minor touch-ups away from being a GA. Noble Story (talk • contributions) 10:33, 15 February 2009 (UTC)

Thank you for your review! I've tried to address all the problems raised, however I must confess that grammar is far from my strong suit, so I apologise if my tweaks don't quite cut the mustard.

• Jonathan is still in the employ of the magician Adam Klaus, however Klaus' television series is receiving heavy criticism from viewers.
• Jonathan is still in the employ of the magician Adam Klaus, whose television series is receiving heavy criticism from viewers.

• Renwick also directed the episode, which was produced by Nerys Evans - Jonathan Creek's former director Verity Lambert having died in November 2007.
• As well as writing, Renwick also directed the episode, which was produced by Nerys Evans; Jonathan Creek's former director Verity Lambert having died of cancer in November 2007.

• Actor Alan Davies had suspected that Renwick may one day revive Jonathan Creek, explaining that Jonathan's fate had been left open, unlike Renwick's other famous character - One Foot In The Grave's Victor Meldrew, who was killed in a hit and run in the show's last episode.
• Davies had suspected that Renwick would one day revive Jonathan Creek, explaining that Jonathan's fate had been left open, unlike Renwick's other famous character - One Foot In The Grave's Victor Meldrew, who was killed in a hit and run in the show's last episode.

• Renwick suggested that they include Davies' weight gain in the plot, presenting the character as having "gone to seed", however Davies did not want to play a "fat Creek".
• Renwick suggested that they include Davies' weight gain in the plot, presenting the character as having "gone to seed". Davies, however, did not want to play a "fat Creek", and lost weight before filming began, stating: "it was my choice not to let him go too much".

• Davies grew his hair out again for the role,[6] and wore his own duffel coat throughout the episode; the same coat which became the character's trademark in the show's first series.
• Davies grew his hair out again for the role, and wore his own duffel coat throughout the episode. The coat had become the character's trademark in the show's first series, with Davies explaining that...

Again, my apologies if anything still doesn't scan right. I'm more than happy to keep tweaking away until it all fits. Thanks again! Frickative 19:57, 19 February 2009 (UTC)

Actually, I think that it is right about done tweaking. I think this fully covers all the GA criteria. Congratulations. Noble Story (talk • contributions) 01:04, 20 February 2009 (UTC)