Talk:Sonic the Hedgehog 2/GA1
Latest comment: 9 years ago by SNUGGUMS in topic GA Review
GA Review edit
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Reviewer: SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 19:35, 19 November 2014 (UTC)
I'll review this, expect my comments within a week.
Here are my comments.....
- Lead
- Only the first release needs to be mentioned in opening paragraph, and no need for region either.
- "Miles 'Tails' Prower" should link to Tails (character)
- Is "much" really needed for "felt that it was much too soon"?
- "Upon release the game was a critical and commercial success"..... I'd move "upon release" to the end of this bit
- Gameplay
- I'd the plot its own subsection. The article for the first Sonic the Hedgehog game (which is GA) is a good example to follow.
- "Dying with zero lives gives the player a game over" → "Running out of lives ends in a game over"
- "in which their opponent will instantly win"..... automatically
- "or the level is ended instantly"..... ends
- "even in recent games"..... including
- Connection to Sonic & Knuckles
- I don't think "Knuckles the Echidna in Sonic the Hedgehog 2" should be bolded
- Development
- "a better salary"..... higher would be a more neutral term
- See point in lead regarding "much" for "much too soon"
- Add "the" before "Japanese" in "Both Americans and Japanese Sonic Team staff"
- It's worth mentioning how/why Sega of America decided "Tails" was a better name than "Miles Prower", and that this is the character's real name. I also don't think "hence the nickname" is appropriate tone.
- Is "notorious" a neutral description?
- "Notable" in "A notable part" isn't really neutral
- The instances of "Sonic 1" and "Sonic 2" in Yuji Naka's quote should be italicized
- Audio
- "Other than the graphics"..... except for
- The tracklists need to be sourced
- I don't know how you're meant to reference tracklists inside a box, because the norm for VG articles is that the tracks themselves don't need sourcing. I've added two appropriate citations at the end of the paragraph, but the code simply won't allow citations inside the box. ☠ Jaguar ☠ 15:26, 27 November 2014 (UTC)
- Legacy
- This section needs more focus on the game as a whole, not just certain aspects of it
- "The release of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 was one of the main reasons that Sega caught up to Nintendo in the 'console wars'"..... reads rather awkwardly
- The bit on Akon should probably be in "Audio" rather than here
- "would go on to become one of the most significant and frequently recurring characters"..... prominent would be better than "significant" as it is more neutral and more encyclopedic
- References
- Per MOS:DATE, use month-day-year or day-month-year format for publish dates/accessdates
- FN2 should read The Boston Globe
- Per WP:VG/RS, YouTube (FN20) is not an appropriate reference
- I'm not sure if FN28 (Joystiq) is appropriate to use, as WP:VG/RS lists it under "situational sources" and I haven't found evidence that author Danny Cowan is reliable
- FN52 should read simply "PlayStation Blog"
- In FN72, the title should only read "Sonic the Hedgehog 2 Gets the Remastering Treatment, With the Long-Lost Hidden Palace Level Restored", and "Steel Media Ventures" should read "148Apps"
- Overall
- Well-written?: Decent, though could be improved
- Verifiable?: Aside from tracklists, there are two subpar sources as well as two dead links
- Broad in coverage?: Mostly good
- Neutral?: Almost
- Stable?: All good
- Illustrated, if possible, by images?: All images are relevant and have sufficient FUR's, though the captions for screenshots could use more description. The article for the first Sonic the Hedgehog game is a good example to follow.
- Pass or Fail?: Needs some touching up, but the concerns aren't extensive. I'll place this on hold for seven days. Snuggums (talk / edits) 05:11, 27 November 2014 (UTC)
- Jaguar, Tezero, you've both done well. Only need to address dead links—there's now three with FN83 (FCC)—as well as a couple mislabeled refs, and most prose issues are fixed. Deadline is December 4th. Snuggums (talk / edits) 18:03, 27 November 2014 (UTC)
- Hmm, the FCC one isn't dead for me. Try loading it again? Tezero (talk) 18:20, 27 November 2014 (UTC)