Talk:Sierra Club v. Babbitt

General comments by Stuartyeates

Please see general comments by User:Stuartyeates on articles generated by this class at Education Program talk:University of San Francisco/Environmental Law (Spring 2013)#Feedback_on_the_articles. Please respond there if you have any questions or comments. Dcoetzee 01:41, 2 May 2013 (UTC)

Comments by Online Ambassador Cullen328

Hello,

Here are some issues I see with the article:

Who is Babbitt? The average reader may not know, but I know that it is Bruce Babbitt, at that time United States Secretary of the Interior.

When you describe the Sierra Club, you link to a description of the club on the Wisconsin chapter website. Instead, you should link to the national Sierra Club website. There is a lengthy quote describing the purposes of the club. All quotes must be in quotation marks, and properly cited to the original source. Otherwise, a lengthy unidentified quote is considered plagiarism. Check the article for any such quotes that aren't properly enclosed in quotation marks and cited. The section describing the Sierra Club should not be written from a pro-Club point of view, but should be neutral, according to WP:NPOV.

The section titled "Significance and Subsequent Developments" should be renamed "Significance and subsequent developments". According the the Manual of style, we only capitalize the initial word in a section heading, plus proper names. More importantly, this section is weak and unreferenced. The only reason to have an article about this court case because it is significant and notable. Please do a better job of explaining why. The section called "Opinion of Court" (rename "Opinion of court"), is also weak.

In my opinion, there is excessive use of acronyms. Although limited use of acronyms can be useful when a lengthy term is used several times in an an article, too many acronyms result in "alphabet soup" that makes it harder for the average reader to comprehend the prose. In this article, we have FWS, NEPA, EIS, EA, ITP, ESA and HCP. Wikipedia has no shortage of paper or ink, so please consider whether full use of some of these terms might enhance comprehension.

Please wikilink more. Examples include John Muir, Environmental mitigation, Fort Morgan, Alabama, and Injunction.

What date did the court issue its decision?

I hope my observations are useful. Cullen³²⁸ Let's discuss it 03:54, 3 May 2013 (UTC)

There are also some typos, including "Fish an Wildlife Service", "section 7(a)(2) of the , a Federal agency", and "one of America’s oldest, largest and most influential grassroots environmental organization" (should be plural). Please proofread and copy edit the article carefully. What were the "two other environmental organizations" that were plaintiffs in the case? Cullen³²⁸ Let's discuss it 04:10, 3 May 2013 (UTC)

Some Comments by Prof Aarf613 (talk) 05:08, 3 May 2013 (UTC)

You've done a great job with this page so far!

I didn't see that Cullen328 left you comments. I made some edits along the same lines. You use FWS as an acronym throughout the article but you switch to USFWS in the arguments section:

The Sierra Club challenged the issuance of these permits under the ESA and the NEPA, asking the District Court to suspend the permits, given based on the HCP, until the FWS revises its environmental analysis and permit conditions.[11] The plaintiffs brought three claims: 1) the level of off-site mitigation funding was inadequate and lacked any rational basis; 2) the USFWS's offsite mitigation policy was inconsistent; and 3) the USFWS's reliance on unnamed sources to pay the additional costs for providing adequate off-site mitigation was arbitrary and capricious.[7] [edit]

I'm guessing that the court used that acronym but unless it's a quote, you should remain consistent. Aarf613 (talk) 05:08, 3 May 2013 (UTC)

In the facts section, fix this sentence: FWS did "remain concerned" that the mitigation plans may not have been as the permit plans was to the maximum extent practicable, as required by the ESA.[1] — Preceding unsigned comment added by Aarf613 (talk • contribs) 05:26, 3 May 2013 (UTC)

Keep up the good work! Aarf613 (talk) 06:32, 3 May 2013 (UTC)

Add that the HCP's were eventually granted in the subsequent developments section. 138.202.134.251 (talk) 18:35, 4 May 2013 (UTC)

Wikipedia Ambassador Program course assignment

This article is the subject of an educational assignment at University of San Francisco supported by the Wikipedia Ambassador Program during the 2013 Spring term. Further details are available on the course page.

The above message was substituted from {{WAP assignment}} by PrimeBOT (talk) on 17:19, 2 January 2023 (UTC)