Talk:Shane Hurlbut/GA1

GA Review

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Lead

Shane Hurlbut, also credited as L. Shane Hurlbut,[2] (born 1964) is an American cinematographer.

So what is his full name? What does L stand for?

He focuses on light as applied to photography and film, and owns a lighting business in Pasadena, California.

Everything around this sentence around this talks about the past, but this is in the present. It should probably be moved to have a better flow.

Early Life

Hurlbut is originally from Ithaca, New York.

Again, present tense around past tense.

He married Lydia Kunkler, a fellow graduate of Southern Cayuga High School.

Do you need to say the whole school name twice? And also, when did he marry?

Hurlbut has assisted friends from Southern Cayuga in their film careers, including Dan Wade and Tim Carr.

What does this have to do with his early life?

Hurlbut studied film at Emerson College, and majored in film and television.[8][4] He graduated from Emerson College in 1986.

Is this a master's degree he got? What kind of degree? Also, do you need to repeat the school name?

Career

Hurlbut focuses on light as applied to photography and film, and owns a lighting business in Pasadena, California

Again, present tense. And why is this randomly stuck in the section about his past.

In 2006, Hurlbut became a member of the American Society of Cinematographers.

Why does this come before something that happened in 2005?

In 2005, Hurlbut became the first cinematographer to utilize the InDI process developed by LaserPacific,

Wikilink? Maybe some kind of explanation of the process?

and though Steven Boone of The Star-Ledger gave the film two stars in a critical review, he noted

Two starts out of what?

References

CR 36 is dead.

Also, I don't think you should use Hurlbut's own website as a source (CR8). It would be better to get a third-party source.

Noble Story (talk • contributions) 04:44, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Response

I believe I have addressed all of your above points to the best of my ability [1]. Unfortunately, after searching through multiple database archives/research sources, I was unable to find any additional secondary sources to answer your above questions. I do not think this information is yet available in WP:RS/WP:V secondary sources. The one thing I could try to do some more research and give a little background on is the "InDI process developed by LaserPacific" - but that is not directly the focus of this article, not sure how germane it would be - but if you really feel that more detail on this would be useful I will do more research into that and add a bit more on it. Cheers, Cirt (talk) 06:24, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Well, I guess leaving a wikilink only should be fine. And as such, I find no other problems with the article, and it now passes GA standards. Congrats, Noble Story (talk • contributions) 07:34, 12 March 2009 (UTC)