Talk:Samuel Lightfoot Flournoy (lawyer)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: BenLinus1214 (talk · contribs) 01:31, 14 August 2015 (UTC)

Hey West Virginian! I'll take this one after reviewing Adventure Time (season 6). Johanna (aka BenLinus1214)^{talk to me!}_{see my work} 01:31, 14 August 2015 (UTC)

• BenLinus1214, thank you for selecting this article for review. I look forward to your guidance and suggestions! -- West Virginian (talk) 20:05, 14 August 2015 (UTC)

@West Virginian: Comments

• Let's talk a bit about the naming of this page, as his father was a lawyer from West Virginia as well.

• BenLinus1214, as you can see, I was unable to think of another way to differentiate him from his father. For that reason, I am definitely open to suggested alternatives. Let me know if you have anything specific in mind. He and his father didn't do us any favors by not using the suffixes Senior and Junior, so those are off the table. -- West Virginian (talk) 03:01, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

• This is a major issue, and naming conventions don't seem to be very helpful on this one. However, the "West Virginia" part seems to be unhelpful to the disambiguation, so you can move the page if you want. Johanna (aka BenLinus1214)^{talk to me!}_{see my work} 03:33, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

• BenLinus1214, I will brainstorm some options for renaming this article and his father's article and I will keep you posted for your recommendation. Thanks again for performing this excellent GA review! As always, it's been a privilege working with you throughout this process. -- West Virginian (talk) 03:44, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

Lead

• I think this lead is a bit too detailed for my taste--are there any lesser details about his life that can be excluded here?

• BenLinus1214, I've slimmed down the lede just a little bit, and can take out more. Were there any especially superfluous biographical items you could recommend taking out? -- West Virginian (talk) 03:01, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

• Also, in this two-paragraph format, the two should probably be more equal in length to one another.

• BenLinus1214, I've restructured the lede a little bit by placing the family information after the mention of his father, and then saving most of the career information for the second paragraph. Let me know if this works! -- West Virginian (talk) 03:01, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

• There's the verb "to serve" twice in two sentences :) Check for this throughout, although it's a lot less pronounced than it was in James Sloan Kuykendall.

• BenLinus1214, thank you so much for the catch! I have a bad "serve/served/serving" habit. I've removed a few more usages, so let me know if I need to remove a few more. Thanks! -- West Virginian (talk) 03:01, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

Early life and education

• Offline sources accepted AGF.

• BenLinus1214, thanks! -- West Virginian (talk) 03:01, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

• You don't have to link Charleston Daily Mail every time something from it is cited--that's a bit of WP:OVERLINK. Also, you don't need to include the location in any of the Charleston Daily Mail things--it will be obvious to most and is redundant as such.

• BenLinus1214, I've de-linked all the extra mentions of Charleston Daily Mail and Charleston, West Virginia. Let me see if you observe any additional wiki-links that could be de-linked. Thanks for the catch! -- West Virginian (talk) 03:01, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

Law and political careers

• "engaged in the practice of law" is a bit clunky--maybe "practiced law"

• BenLinus1214, done! -- West Virginian (talk) 03:14, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

• Any links for arbitrator and commissioner?

• BenLinus1214, done! -- West Virginian (talk) 03:14, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

• You might be able to get away with it, but watch the over-usage of the verb "to appoint" here.

• BenLinus1214, I've changed several usages of appoint to select and designate. Let me know if anymore should be modified. Thanks! -- West Virginian (talk) 03:14, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

• What is an "at-large" seat?

• BenLinus1214, it was and I've incorporated this information in the prose! -- West Virginian (talk) 03:14, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

• "Flournoy was ultimately unsuccessful in his bid for election to the at-large city council seat." Is this in one of your current sources? If so, cite it after this sentence.

• BenLinus1214, I was able to find information about his bid for election, but he was not listed in any records of Charleston city councilpersons so I deduced that his run was unsuccessful. How should I word this, given that there is no specific reporting stating as such. -- West Virginian (talk) 03:14, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

• For the re-indexing part, what did they find or do as a result of the investigation? Or do the sources not say.

• BenLinus1214, the sources didn't say. I checked all the local Charleston newspapers, but none reported on the results of the re-indexing. -- West Virginian (talk) 03:14, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

• "third member" the third member ever? Or are there only three people on the committee? Or is this some sort of position? No matter what, make it a bit clearer.

• BenLinus1214, it was not clear in the source what "third" referred to, so I removed it and mentioned that he was added as "an at-large member" -- West Virginian (talk) 03:14, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

Business pursuits

• I don't think it really makes sense for "law and political careers" to be one section and "business pursuits" to be another--either put them all under one section (maybe "Career") and give them subheadings or split all three into separate sections. I would prefer the former, but it's up to you.

• BenLinus1214, I've reorganized the article per your suggestion. Let me know what you think! -- West Virginian (talk) 03:22, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

Later life and death

• "He was survived by…" I don't think you should mention his children and wife by name in this section and the next section, because it sort of makes the reader go, "but you already told us about them." If you just say "his wife" or "his son" here, that'll be fine. Also, why isn't his daughter included in the list of people he was survived by?

• BenLinus1214, thank you for the suggestion! I've incorporated "his wife" and "his son" into the text. His daughter was not mention in the article, and it is unclear as to what happened to her as I was unable to find any records of her death. Her vital records are on my permanent list of data to acquire, so once I have evidence either way, I will include it in this article. -- West Virginian (talk) 03:22, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

@West Virginian: Good work. A few comments before I can pass. By the way, given that you have some experience with featured lists, I was wondering if you could comment at my FLC for List of accolades received by Boys Don't Cry (film)--I would really appreciate it. :) Johanna (aka BenLinus1214)^{talk to me!}_{see my work} 02:36, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

• @BenLinus1214:, thank you so incredibly much for taking the time to engage in this rather thorough and comprehensive review. I really appreciate your eye for detail and I think the article is much better now because of it! I promise to take a look at your FLC in the next few days. Thanks again for the review! -- West Virginian (talk) 03:22, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

• @West Virginian: The funny thing is that I usually feel like I should be saying more about these articles. :) Anyways, I like the work you've done and thanks for the quick reply. Next time, you don't have to mention me in every inline response--when I logged on, I had 16 notifications. :) Pass. Johanna (aka BenLinus1214)^{talk to me!}_{see my work} 03:33, 20 August 2015 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose, no copyvios, spelling and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail: