Talk:S-CRY-ed/GA1
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Reviewer: Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contribs) 02:01, 5 February 2017 (UTC)
The article is almost there, but I think what the article needs is a little copyediting, for the most part. For example, I see an instance of "series' director" when simply "series director" (without the apostrophe) would have been more appropriate for the sentence. In addition, there are a few awkwardly-written or run-on sentences, such as "mostly received positive reviews" instead of "received mostly positive reviews", while the sentence "In an IGN article by Ryan Clements titled "The Anime We'd Love to Play" s-CRY-ed was included" should probably be written as "s-CRY-ed was included in an IGN article by Ryan Clements titled "The Anime We'd Love to Play". Finally, are "HOLY" and "HOLD" really supposed to be written in all-capital letters? I'm a bit busy right now so I'll continue the review some other time, but for now, the article is about 90% ready. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 02:01, 5 February 2017 (UTC)
- @Narutolovehinata5: Both HOLD and HOLY are written in capital always. At least most reviewers write them like that. Never saw them without them. Also, reworded those sentence you mention. I'll try my best.Tintor2 (talk) 13:50, 5 February 2017 (UTC)
- Those issues have been fixed but there are still other awkwardly-written phrases and run-on sentences in the article, particularly in the Plot section. Surnames should be used sparingly in the same section: the writing would flow better if pronouns are used in subsequent mentions of people's names, except in cases of ambiguity, in which surnames would have to be mentioned. I would recommend seeking a copyedit from other users or from the GCE, so until then or after a week has passed, this GAN is
On hold. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 14:26, 5 February 2017 (UTC)
- Those issues have been fixed but there are still other awkwardly-written phrases and run-on sentences in the article, particularly in the Plot section. Surnames should be used sparingly in the same section: the writing would flow better if pronouns are used in subsequent mentions of people's names, except in cases of ambiguity, in which surnames would have to be mentioned. I would recommend seeking a copyedit from other users or from the GCE, so until then or after a week has passed, this GAN is
- Is that some characters like Kazuma and Ryuho don't even use surnames. I recently asked this article's copy-editor to give it a look, so I hope he returns.Tintor2 (talk) 14:39, 5 February 2017 (UTC)
- I was referring to the Production section though, sorry I forgot to mention that. Narutolovehinata5 tccsdnew 14:56, 5 February 2017 (UTC)
- Is that some characters like Kazuma and Ryuho don't even use surnames. I recently asked this article's copy-editor to give it a look, so I hope he returns.Tintor2 (talk) 14:39, 5 February 2017 (UTC)
- @Narutolovehinata5: I tried revising the plot section to avoid long sentencess and make it more clear. Still, I don't think I can do the same with the production. I only revised the overuse of the director's surname.Tintor2 (talk) 15:02, 5 February 2017 (UTC)
- @Narutolovehinata5: Update Fellow copyeditor User:Twofingered Typist gave the article a second copyedit.Tintor2 (talk) 15:33, 5 February 2017 (UTC)
In any case, I've done a few copyedits myself, so that issue has been resolved. While the article could still use a little more polishing, this is only a GAN and not a FAN and so the standards are lower and the article is in an acceptable state. Given that the article passes the other criteria (proper use of non-free content, every statement is verifiable and cited when necessary, etc.), this should be good enough to be passed.