Talk:Rebel Heart (song)/GA1

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 14:09, 1 June 2017 (UTC)

• Grabbing this for a review. Aoba47 (talk) 14:09, 1 June 2017 (UTC)

Comments

• I am a little confused by what you mean by the "actual version" in the lead. In the previous sentence, you mention that the finalized version of the track was leaked prior to the album's release. Is the "actual" version different than the "finalized" version? And it might be beneficial in that same sentence to clarify that the song was released as a part of the album to avoid any confusion on if it was released separately.
  • Yeah that was a bad construction, I should have noted that still talking about the final album version. —IB ^{[ Poke ]} 06:17, 2 June 2017 (UTC)
• The repetition of "in nature" in the first sentence of the lead's second paragraph is a little awkward, and can be revised to read better.
• The phrase "owning up" in the lead and the body of the article sounds rather informal and can be revised with stronger language/better word choice.
• You use the word "autobiographical" twice in close proximity in the lead. I would not make a major note about this, but the lead is already short so the repetition is made more apparent by this. I would revise one of the two instances.
• Why is "Super Deluxe" put in quotations when Deluxe is not? I would suggest being consistent on whether or not you put the names of the different album editions in quotations or not.
• The descriptor "paled down" sounds a little odd to me (I have never heard of this phrase before), and I would suggest revising this part, or removing it altogether as the word "acoustic" in the same sentence appears to be covering the same idea (if I am understanding the context correctly).
• For the phrase "The song consists of finger claps and violin being played", I would revise it to "The song's instrumentation includes finger claps and a violin." Something about the phrase "being played" just reads a little strange to me as I do not believe a song consists of a violin not being played.
• In the phrase ("Rebel Heart" finds), something about attributing the verb "find" to a song sounds a little off to me.
• The phrase "a big chorus" sounds a little too informal and borders a little bit on POV territory (as it can be interpreted as praise for the song). I would suggest revising this.
• The phrase "in favor if" should read "in favor of".
• In the phrase "skips them", I am not entirely sure what you mean by "them" in this context. How is this song different from Madonna's previous work with folk music? I am not entirely getting the juxtaposition being posed in this sentence. Something about this sentence feels incomplete/unfinished.
• The sentence (From defying her father's request to conform herself as "other girls", from being "narcissistic" to "provocative".) is an incomplete thought. I am assuming that you meant to combine this with another sentence or put something else there so I would suggest you look back at this as it needs work. The same applies to the sentence directly following that. It appears that this is information from Evan Sawdey's assessment of the song, but it is not quite as connected and fully-formed as it should be.
• Just a clarification question, but do you know if there are any more reviews of the live performance of the song on the tour? Currently, there is only one review, and I would have thought that there would be more considering how high-profile the tour is, and that song was prominently featured on the tour.

Final comment

• Wonderful job with this article. I actually really like this song a lot and greatly enjoyed her performance of this on the tour. Once my comments are addressed, I will pass this. Aoba47 (talk) 14:29, 1 June 2017 (UTC)

  @Aoba47: thanks for the review I think I got all of them? Let me know. —IB ^{[ Poke ]} 06:17, 2 June 2017 (UTC)

• Thank you for addressing all of my comments. I will ✓ Pass this. Aoba47 (talk) 13:39, 2 June 2017 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.