Talk:Persian Gulf campaign of 1809/GA1
Latest comment: 15 years ago by Jackyd101 in topic GA Review
GA Review
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Hi. I am reviewing your article for GA and will be putting my comments below, as I go through the article. The article looks very interesting and initially I don't see any major problems. —Mattisse (Talk) 03:33, 13 January 2009 (UTC)
- Comments
- "was despatched to the region following an escalation in pirate attacks on British shipping in the Persian Gulf after the arrival of French diplomatic missions in Muscat and Tehran in 1807." - I am not clear what the connection is between the escalation of the pirate attacks and arrival of French diplomatic missions.
- As mentioned, Britain and France were in the middle of the Napoleonic Wars, and thus the French encouraged attacks on British shipping by the Persian Gulf pirates. This is explained in the text, do you think I need to explain it fully in the lead as well?--Jackyd101 (talk) 18:36, 14 January 2009 (UTC)
- "but the outbreak of the Napoleonic Wars in 1803 diverted much of the British strength in the Indian Ocean against the Dutch colonies of the Cape of Good Hope and Java and the French bases on Île Bonaparte and Île de France" - do you mean that the British strength in the Indian Ocean was diverted to the Dutch colonies of the Cape of Good Hope....? - in other words - from the Indian Ocean to the Dutch colonies...?
- The fact that all the paragraphs are approximately the same size is monotonous. Is there a way you can vary the size for more impact?
- Also, you tend to use the same sentence structure over and over, for example:"The campaign did however have a significant effect on British cartography of the region, Wainwright reporting that the available charts of the Persian Gulf were inaccurate or incomplete..." - the phrase "Wainwright reporting" is a construction you have repeated overly, sometimes in several sentences in a paragraph. I have changed some of them, but I would urge you to vary sentence construction. Like paragraph size, repeating the samve sentence construction over and over is monotonous.
I will add more comments, if necessary, once you respond. —Mattisse (Talk) 03:33, 13 January 2009 (UTC)
- Sorry! The review isn't finished, although I know there are no significant problems. I just needed a response from you before spending more time on it. —Mattisse (Talk) 22:42, 14 January 2009 (UTC)
- I looked through it again, and don't have any more comments. The article give a little window into what was happening during that time. Very good. —Mattisse (Talk) 01:22, 15 January 2009 (UTC)
- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose): Well written b (MoS): Follows MoS
- a (prose): Well written b (MoS): Follows MoS
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references): Adequate references b (citations to reliable sources): References are reliable c (OR):
- a (references): Adequate references b (citations to reliable sources): References are reliable c (OR):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): Sets the overall context b (focused): Remains focused on article subject
- a (major aspects): Sets the overall context b (focused): Remains focused on article subject
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias: NPOV
- Fair representation without bias: NPOV
- It is stable.
- No edit wars etc.:
- No edit wars etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
Passes GA. A nice little article. Congradulations! —Mattisse (Talk) 15:10, 15 January 2009 (UTC)