Talk:Operation Labrador/GA1
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Reviewer: Moswento (talk · contribs) 09:46, 3 December 2013 (UTC)
- Hello! I'll take a look at this one. Comments to follow below shortly. Moswento talky 09:46, 3 December 2013 (UTC)
- Overalls
Overall, this is a really well-written article. Clear, easy to follow, covering the main course of events well. I have no problems with any of the sources or how they're used (assuming an amount of good faith on a few). I have a few very minor comments on the text, and then this is ready for promotion. A pleasure to read, and a pleasure to review. Thank you! Moswento talky 10:56, 3 December 2013 (UTC)
- Lead
- (optional) "Croatia, making it appear" - I wonder if "by making it appear" would be clearer
- "to media" - either "to the media" or to "media outlets/sources". Likewise in "bombings" section
- (optional) "who were a part of " - "who were part of", I'm not sure the "a" is necessary
- Background
- "after declaring its intention to integrate with Serbia, the Government of Croatia declared it to be a rebellion" - it's not clearer what the "its" and "it" refer to
- Bombings
- "On 19 August, Jewish Community Centre" - either "a Jewish Community Centre" or "the Jewish Community Centre"
- "agents assigned to the Operation Labrador " - either "the Operation" or "to Operation Labrador"
- Aftermath
- "In the immediate aftermath of the bombings in Zagreb," - I wonder if this sentence would be better moved to the paragraph above, after the bit about claims of responsibility? It arguably could go in either section, so your choice.
- "Radojčić was arrested in Zagreb" - "arrested again"?
Thank you for the review. I believe I have addressed all your concerns, but I decided to keep the ""In the immediate aftermath of the bombings in Zagreb..." sentence where it is right now, i.e. aftermath section since it deals with the aftermath, regardless how immediate. Hope that's alright with you. Cheers.--Tomobe03 (talk) 13:39, 3 December 2013 (UTC)