Talk:Miranda Kerr/GA1

Latest comment: 3 years ago by Trillfendi in topic GA Review

GA Review

edit

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: LM150 (talk · contribs) 14:07, 7 March 2021 (UTC)Reply

Hi, happy to review this for GA. Thanks for your efforts so far - here are my comments/feedback.

  • "dated international fugitive Jho Low" - is this important for the lede?
It certainly isn’t. It looks like someone else added that recently. Trillfendi (talk) 15:50, 7 March 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • "and is currently married to Snapchat CEO.." - could we start this as a new sentence? eg. She has been married to Snapchat CEO Evan Spiegel since 2017.
  Done
  • "Kerr's words it was too painful to stay there" - perhaps rephrase this, eg. Kerr said it was too painful to stay there
  Done
  • Career beginnings - first paragraph has no references
  Done
  • "Circa Kerr signed to.." - is there a typo/missing word here?
  Done I think Circa is a stray word there. Trillfendi (talk) 17:14, 17 March 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • "and was featured in Australian television advertisements for clothing and hair-removal products." - source needed
  Done removed because a suitable source couldn’t be found. Best I saw was a gallery image from Herald Sun but that isn’t good enough for it. Trillfendi (talk) 17:32, 17 March 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • add wikilink for CBS
  Done
  • "estimated $3.5 million" - I assume all earnings are in US Dollars? I suggest that you add USD to the very first instance, eg. USD$3.5 million
  Done I went ahead and just did it to all
  • "Kerr has annually placed on the Forbes list of the world's highest-paid models." - unsourced, and is this sentence needed? Throughout the article, we've already got several mentions of these in each year.
  Done
  • Religion section - her quote needs to be formatted with a block quote
  Done

More comments to follow, thanks LM150 14:07, 7 March 2021 (UTC)Reply

  • Not sure if it's just me, but the Public image section (about David Kiely) sounds like gossip and non-notable material. Feel free to disagree though.
  • Remove ALLCAPS in references, eg. THIS AUSSIE SWIMWEAR BRAND IS LOOKING FOR THE NEXT MIRANDA, SHANINA OR GIGI

  Done

  • What's happened to reference 34, there's Huff Post and Sky News combined into one?
  Done it lacked closing ref tag at the end of the Huff Post reference Trillfendi (talk) 18:02, 17 March 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • In some references, like 57, the 'Name of publication' is in the 'Publisher' field, eg. The Huffington Post Australia. Could we be consistent and just use the 'Name of publication' field?
  • Reference 63 doesn't work: "Kerr's ex Guilty". (and perhaps provide archived sources too)
  • Reference 79 doesn't work: "Miranda Kerr Has Welcomed Her Third Son." InStyle Australia.

Thanks, LM150 18:21, 8 March 2021 (UTC)Reply

Update - additional comments may come soon before wrapping this up. I haven't forgotten about this review. Thanks, LM150 18:30, 9 April 2021 (UTC)Reply

Hi @Trillfendi:, just coming back to this review. I'm happy to make a few copyedits once all the above has been addressed. Also, perhaps cleanup the personal life section? The quote about her sexuality - I don't think that's relevant or adds anything here (Wikipedia is not gossip!). I would perhaps remove the subheading "Relationships" as you address legal issues here too. Thanks. LM150 13:30, 8 May 2021 (UTC)Reply

@Trillfendi and LM150: is this still being worked on? -- RoySmith (talk) 13:18, 14 May 2021 (UTC)Reply
LM150, may I suggest this be closed as failed. It's obviously not going anywhere. -- RoySmith (talk) 12:57, 27 May 2021 (UTC)Reply

Trillfendi, apologies but I'm going to fail this GA for now. Let me know when you're ready to renominate and I'll review it again. Thank you! LM150 17:56, 28 May 2021 (UTC)Reply

@LM150: Understandable, I’m open to revisiting it later. Thank you for volunteering. 👍 Trillfendi (talk) 18:21, 28 May 2021 (UTC)Reply