Talk:Maheshinte Prathikaaram/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Pavanjandhyala (talk · contribs) 13:42, 29 July 2016 (UTC)

Will start reviewing tomorrow. May take a time of a week or more. Cheers! Pavanjandhyala (talk) 13:42, 29 July 2016 (UTC)

Lead

• Feature-film debut? His filmography shows that he did dabble with films as an actor and associate director before. Using directorial debut can be a better choice.
• "The film stars Fahadh Faasil as Mahesh and Anusree, Alencier Ley Lopez, Aparna Balamurali and Soubin Shahir." -- close repetition of "and". It is better to replace the first "and" with "besides". And, did the remaining four play supporting roles?
  • Supporting roles.--Charles Turing (talk) 13:48, 30 July 2016 (UTC)
• Even before talking about the film's release and production, is it correct to mention the soundtrack as a "critically-praised" one?
  • Removed. Music already mentioned in the summary of critical reception.--Charles Turing (talk) 13:48, 30 July 2016 (UTC)
• Does the film follow the photographer or his story?
  • Changes made.--Charles Turing (talk) 13:48, 30 July 2016 (UTC)
• In the plot summary, you need not mention the actors' full names; they are already mentioned in the first paragraph.
• village fight? I think "a fight" or "a feud" is enough for a brief summary.
• "Maheshinte Prathikaaram's development began in 2013, when Pothan was an associate director for Abu" -- "...was working as an.." would be better to mention the events properly.
• "Pushkaran suggested a possible plot to Pothan" -- did he suggest an idea? possible plot sounds a bit off.
• Who wrote the first draft? If it is Pushkaran, please make it clear.
• "After casting, production was scheduled to start in December 2014" -- It would be better to rephrase it as "Production was scheduled to commence from December 2014 after completing the casting process".
• It is evident that Faasil's scheduling conflicts delayed the film's production. Then it would be better to mention August directly in the lead.
• " Principal photography began in early August in Idukki and nearby locations, where all filming was done." -- ".... locations, where it was predominantly filmed". Nearby locations can include many, and entire is not proper to use in such situations.
• Use globally instead of internationally, when it comes to release.
• Rather than "Its cast" and "performances" as separate things in the summary of critical reception, begin it as "The performances of its cast". It will make things clear.
• Mention the publisher of the film's Blu Ray and DVD.
  • Not a notable publisher.--Charles Turing (talk) 13:48, 30 July 2016 (UTC)

Plot

• We introduce Baby towards the end of the second sentence. I suggest you to rephrase the next line as "His assistant Crispin (Soubin Shahir) is a photoshop wizard who designs the flex-boards."
• Mahesh's love is not one sided i guess; it is better to say that "Mahesh is in a relationship with Soumya (Anusree), his high-school sweetheart" rather than "Mahesh is in love with his high-school sweetheart, Soumya (Anusree)".
• "Noticing the commotion, Mahesh tries to calm everyone down but Jimson (furious at Mahesh's authoritative stance) beats him up." -- i suggest you to replace the parentheses with commas.
• Mahesh's father had a name, Vincent. It would be better to say that Vincent manages to stop the fight. I also suggest you to put Mahesh's embarassement and vow in another sentence instead of using a semi colon.
• "Soumya is forced to end her relationship with Mahesh, and shortly afterwards Crispin tells him Jimson's whereabouts. When Mahesh goes to the garage where Jimson is (ostensibly) a welder" -- two separate things are being explained in the same time, which is not so good. It is not wrong to use small sentences. I suggest you to end the first sentence by putting a full stop after Mahesh and continue the rest in a separate sentence like this: "He learns about Jimson's whereabouts from Crispin and visits the garage where he apparently works as a welder."
• "the owner tells him that Jimson left for a better job in Dubai." -- "Its owner...".
• Mention Jimson's and Jimsy's full names in their first mention in the summary.
• "She tells Mahesh that she wants to enter Vanitha's cover competition..." -- "participate in" is a better phrase than "enter" in such situations.
• "Several weeks later, Jimson is fired from his job for slapping his manager and deported back to India." -- "...is deported back...".
• "Mahesh brings fruit the next day to the hospital where Jimson is being treated for his injuries and introduces himself to Jimson's mother in front of Jimson and Jimsy." -- i suggest you to rephrase it as "Mahesh meets Jimson in an hospital on the next day and introduces himself to his mother".

Cast

• Decapitalise 'P' in Photoshop

(talk page stalker) Are you referring to the licensed photo-editing software by Adobe? If yes, the term shouldn't be decapitalised as it is a proper noun. And we should not use the term as a verb on Wiki either. Kailash29792 (talk) 07:11, 31 July 2016 (UTC)

Alright then. Pavanjandhyala (talk) 07:37, 31 July 2016 (UTC)

• Is Pothan's role a cameo? If yes, mention it.

Origin and Writing

• We are made aware that the setting of the story has been changed to Idukki from Kottayam. After that, this line appears: "We realised that the real-life story would make for an interesting script when I narrated it to director Dileesh Pothan. It was Dileesh's suggestion to develop the plot in the background of his native Kottayam", he said. You have two alternatives in this case. Either remove this line or paraphrase it. If you opt for the second, the result may be somewhat on the lines of this: "Pushkaran began writing, setting the story in Pothan's native Kottayam; it was later changed to Idukki."
• Please mention the romance element included by Pushkaran as a fictional one.
• It is mentioned that the film was perceived as a comedy despite its title hinting a possible thriller. Why include this sentence in the Development section? It looks really proper here itself.
• According to Pothan, they "even took note of the mannerisms of the shopkeeper in the kavala, who, by virtue of the location of the store, is a witness to many of the incidents that unfold in the village, real and reel". -- this sentence can be rephrased as Pothan took note of the mannerisms of the shopkeepers in the kavala whom he considered a "witness to many of the incidents that unfold in the village, real and reel".
• "The screenplay had "less research, but more observation", said Syam." -- Wasn't the writer being referred to as Pushkaran till now? I suggest you to rephrase it as "Pushkaran added that the screenplay had less research but more observation".
• "He learned the characteristics and culture of Idukki from his two months there during the filming of Idukki Gold, and considered it the right location for the film." -- This line should come after the shift of Kottayam to Idukki. Please consider relocating it, and rephrasing it as "He studied Idukki's culture and characteristics in his two month stay during the filming of Idukki Gold, and found it an ideal backdrop."
• Delink Idukki in the second paragraph.
• "A revised screenplay was prepared after Maheshinte Prathikaaram was cast, and it underwent several more revisions as filming progressed." -- "...prepared after completing the casting, and...".
• Why introduce its cinematographer here again?
  • He was part of their discussions at night.--Charles Turing (talk) 18:37, 31 July 2016 (UTC)

Cast and crew

• "Faasil, enthusiastic about the project, agreed to appear the film after fulfilling his other commitments." -- appear "in" the film
• "Faasil suggested Alencier Ley Lopez, with whom he had worked in Annayum Rasoolum (2013), as Babychayan." -- "...(2013), for Baby's role."
• The content related to milkweeds would fit better in Filming section. Please consider relocating it.

Filming

• Delink Idukki district and Kerala.
• "Large portions of the shooting were done in Thopramkudy, near Kattappana." -- I suggest you to rephrase it as "Major portions of the film were shot in Thopramkudy, near Kattappana."
• "The filming in Idukki, which took 45 days, was finished in late October." -- "...was wrapped up in late October."
• "The scene, on muddy ground, took four days to film near the Cheruthoni and Idukki Dams." -- I suggest you to rephrase it as "The scene was filmed in four days on muddy grounds near the Cheruthoni and Idukki dams."

Post-production

• "Sound design was by Cellador Productions in Bangalore; Nixon George and Rajeesh K. R. designed the film's soundscape." -- This too, can be separated as two sentences. It is better to write it as "Cellador Productions of Bangalore worked on the film's sound design; Nixon George and Rajeesh K. R. designed its soundscape."
• "It was no less difficult. We recorded in all the locations and that helped greatly in getting the right end product – a detailed soundscape in all the scenes", said George. -- This sounds somewhat straight from newspapers. Try to paraphrase it, like: "George and Rajeesh recorded in all the locations and found it of great help during the final editing process."

Music

The current size of Maheshinte Prathikaaram is 72K+ bytes. When an article's size increases beyond 40K+ bytes and the content related to music is nearly 10K+ bytes, separate soundtrack articles are created to avoid bloating of the main article.

In this case too, surely the section looks bloated, considering it is a four-song soundtrack. Consider creating a separate soundtrack article and summarising contents in the main article. For reference, you may go through Anjaan and its soundtrack.

Themes

• Paraphrasing Nair's first quote is a better way of explaining the things to the readers. You can do it this way: "... qualities of a great short story; he found it closer to the creative non-fiction style specialised by the writers of Esquire magazine in terms of rhythm and pacing."
• Mention the last statement of The Times of India as a review by Sanjith Sidhardhan.

Release

• "Maheshinte Prathikaaram's release date was announced in January 2016" -- release plans would be a better option in this case, as multiple release dates are available.
• Vizag redirects to Visakhapatnam. Fix it.

Reception

• Delink Chennai in the first paragraph.
• "Maheshinte Prathikaram was the top Malayalam film at the United States box office over its third weekend (March 11–13), grossing $16,819 on 17 screens and outperforming Action Hero Biju and Vettah." -- was it the highest earning Malayalam film? if yes mention it.
• The date formats should be DMY for Indian articles. Here, it should be 11–13 March and not March 11–13. Fix such other instances.
• "It was the top Malayalam film at the United Kingdom-Ireland box office..." -- highest earning?
• "The film had total UK-Ireland earnings of £35,055 after its fourth weekend" -- I suggest you to rephrase it as "The film earned a total of £35,055 after its fourth weekend in the United Kingdom and Ireland."
• Coming to the critical reception, first list the ones without ratings. Then, list the ones with the highest to the least in descending order.

References

No dead links, which is quite appreciable. However, i find some Malayalam sources being used as citations. In such cases, it is advised to add two more parameters to such references. One is |trans_title= where one must add the translation of the article's title. Next is |language= which is Malayalam in this case.

Conclusion

Good to see Malayalam film articles being developed to this scale. Once the Music section-related and the new set of comments are addressed, i shall pass this. Until then, its promotion is kept on hold. Its nominator, Charles Turing, has seven days. Good luck! Pavanjandhyala (talk) 10:02, 1 August 2016 (UTC)

@Pavanjandhyala: Comments resolved. Thanks for a detailed and thorough review. --Charles Turing (talk) 15:50, 1 August 2016 (UTC)

@Charles Turing: Ref. no. 11 is yet to be translated. Pavanjandhyala (talk) 16:51, 1 August 2016 (UTC)

@Pavanjandhyala: Done. Thanks.--Charles Turing (talk) 18:38, 1 August 2016 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it reasonably well written?

   A. Prose quality:

   B. MoS compliance:

2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?

   A. References to sources:

   B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:

   C. No original research:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. Major aspects:

   B. Focused:

4. Is it neutral?

   Fair representation without bias:

5. Is it stable?

   No edit wars, etc:

6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?

   A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

   B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

Congratulations! Pavanjandhyala (talk) 01:56, 2 August 2016 (UTC)