Talk:London Paddington station/GA2

Latest comment: 6 years ago by Ritchie333 in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 07:11, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply


The standard stuff, hopefully without unpleasant intrusion...

  • Infobox has "Paddington" then "London Paddington" then "London Paddington Station" (should be lower case "station") in the caption, then back to "Location of Paddington in United Kingdom London Westminster", and I'm not sure I understand that caption really, if anything, wouldn't it be "Paddington, in Westminster, London, UK"....?
Fixed - the latter case is thrown up by templates, as it transcluded Template:Location map United Kingdom London Westminster. It would be nice to use an alternative caption. Anyway, I've swapped it to Template:Location map Central London which does the job. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:13, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • "main-line" or "main line"?
  • "Main Line" -> main line
I left this for consistency, but it won't hurt to change it Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:13, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • "London Heathrow Airport. " this is just Heathrow Airport.
Well I never, after the requested move at Waterloo's article, I was almost certain this would have London put in front. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:13, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • "one of 19" one of nineteen.
Done Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:13, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • "particularly for milk and parcels" ditch the "for".
Done Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:13, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • " In the 20th century, it began" we've lost focus on "it" here.
Some homicidal clown with a balloon obsession? Rewritten. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:13, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • "Paddington has attempted to remain faithful" anthropomorphising here.
Rewritten Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:13, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • " on the recently replaced" this will soon age...
Oops, in this case "recently" is actually 2006! Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:13, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • "A40 Westway," this is a little "sea of blue" for me, and A40 piped to a redirect.......... boom!
Changed to just "Westway", although technically it's the A40 here, no-one cares at this point. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:36, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • "the A5 Edgware Road" sea of blue again. For clarity, that means I assumed it to be one link, not two.
Changed to just "Edgware Road"; again though it's part of the A5, navigating via numbers in Central London is not practical. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:36, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • "extended.[12][11]" refs in numerical order please.
Done Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:36, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • "Bishops Bridge Road" or "Bishop's Bridge Road"?
A quick random source suggests the apostrophe should stay Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:36, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • "The GWR first started..." odd litle two-sentence paragraph in the middle of the other chunkier paras, could it merge?
Done, also switched the passive voice Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:36, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • Two different targets are used for the Hilton hotel.
Fixed Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:36, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • Is there an article for " Royal Oak" station?
Yes, slightly confusingly it's Royal Oak tube station, because some tube stops started off as overground rail
  • "during the First World War " you don't like this, and you've already linked WWI previously.
Must have forgotten about it - fixed Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:36, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • "The GWR memorial." no full stop required.
Fixed Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:36, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • "Big Four, British Rail and Privatisation" no need for capital P.
Fixed Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:36, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • This section is a little ... "bitty" if you know what I mean. Lots of very short paragraphs, could do with smoothing out.
I've moved a bunch of stuff around, so hopefully it flows better - also split the piece about "The Lawn" as it attempts to do the entire history plus late 20th century developments in one go
  • "Paddington was rebuilt again from 1930 to 1934. " rebuilt or extended?
I'm going to go with "extended" as I don't believe the original structure was modified at this time. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:36, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • Do all our readers know what an "August bank holiday" is?
Linked to Bank holiday, as the history of what counts as an August bank holiday is a little complicated Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:36, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • "Diesel Multiple Unit " is not proper noun.
So it isn't; well I never Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:36, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • "The concourse at rush hour." no full stop required.
Fixed Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 15:36, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • "cafés on several levels.[41][22]" no accent needed, we've sufficiently borrowed that word now, and refs in numerical order.
Fixed Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 16:00, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • "Great Western Main Line" main line.
Fixed Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 16:00, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • "Platform 13 was removed" I felt like I had to wait to long to be told that...
  • .. and then "Platforms 13 and 14 can only be reached indirectly "??
  • And "platforms 2–5 and 10–16" now there's a 15 and 16 on this 13-platform station which had 13 removed?
Either this information is 10 years out of date, or it's been vandalised. Either way, what is in the source (Network Rail's station map with platform descriptions) is right (or at least verifiable), so fixed Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 16:00, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • "in the Lawn but" you previously called this The Lawn.
Sources seem to differ as to whether to put quotes in, but I think the ones that haven't cribbed off Wikipedia don't use them, so I've gone with that Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 16:00, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • "in Ireland[55] " move to end of sentence, does that also reference the remainder of the sentence it currently splits?
I've reorganised this and put both sources at the end - one is a basic modern description, the other is a retrospective news piece. It's basically talking about this here. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 16:00, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • "Branch Line", "Main Line" etc in that suc-box.
Light touch paper and retire Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 16:00, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • Accidents and incidents, I believe you've been more selective in other similar articles and turned from list to prose, suggest the same applies here.
I've got rid of the 1840 accidents as they predate the station this article is talking about, and turned the rest into prose. The section is a bit choppy now, but I think the Ladbroke Grove crash needs to stand on its own as its more notable than all the other accidents put together, and then some.
  • "and donated £175,000" when?
Fixed Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 16:00, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • "A new taxi rank" I've always wondered if someone goes around peeling off the stickers on car park ticket machines that say "new charges apply"...
Reworded this - also I find that recentism has a tendency to creep in from time to time, so I've trimmed that down. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 16:00, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • Ross hyphen on hyphen Wye.
Fixed Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 16:00, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • Link shilling.
Are you saying young people and Americans don't understand old money. I despair Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 16:00, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
  • Check gallery captions, e.g. "The Station Clock" TOO CAPITALISED, and the Lawn (not The Lawn) is mentioned a couple of times. Most captions have full stops, which aren't necessary when the captions are sentence fragments.
I don't think any are full sentences, so shouldn't have full stops. The Lawn's been addressed above. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 16:00, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply

That's it for a first run-through. Bring it on. The Rambling Man (talk) 14:52, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply

@The Rambling Man: Perfect timing, I've had an hour or two to whizz through these. Everything addressed Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 16:02, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
I made a few tweaks and promoted. No hostile invasion? "All your base are belong to us". The Rambling Man (talk) 19:45, 25 September 2017 (UTC)Reply
Thanks for the review, another one in the bag. Probably St Pancras next Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 09:18, 26 September 2017 (UTC)Reply