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Latest comment: 17 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
The comment(s) below were originally left at Talk:Lillian Board/Comments, and are posted here for posterity. Following several discussions in past years, these subpages are now deprecated. The comments may be irrelevant or outdated; if so, please feel free to remove this section.
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Good work MG. Just a few general comments:
Preferable to refer to subject as 'Board' rather than by her first name.
To reduce white space please use only one line break between sections (see my recent edit).
Article would benifit from the addition of an image, provided you can track down one that complies with WP:FU.
Lead is not an adequate summary of text per WP:LEAD.
Need to tone down POV in certain areas eg.
"she tragically died of cancer in 1970"
"had a special talent for running"
"when she finished a strong 2nd in an inter-club meeting "
"She looked all over the winner"
"However, fate was to intervene in the cruellest of ways."
None of these assertions are untrue, however the phrasing needs to be toned down, and they need to be cited.
Hopefully this helps as a guide to improving the article; if you are unsure about any of this, give me a bell. + Ceoil 01:06, 28 December 2006 (UTC)Reply
Last edited at 01:06, 28 December 2006 (UTC).
Substituted at 22:01, 29 April 2016 (UTC)
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