Talk:Hermann Graf/GA1

Latest comment: 9 years ago by Jonas Vinther in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: Jonas Vinther (talk · contribs) 14:18, 18 November 2014 (UTC)Reply

I'll review this article right away when I get home. Jonas Vinther (speak to me!) 14:18, 18 November 2014 (UTC)Reply

1. "and initially selected for transport aviation was posted to Jagdgeschwader 51" - That sentence does not flow, try saying it out loud to yourself.
reworded MisterBee1966 (talk) 07:12, 22 November 2014 (UTC)Reply
2. "Wilhelm Graf, a small farmer, and his wife Maria, née Sailer" - No information on the wife's occupation? Chances are she was a housewife as very few women was found in the workshops in those days.
Unfortunately my sources do not give insight into his mothers occupation. I would have to speculate on this. MisterBee1966 (talk) 07:12, 22 November 2014 (UTC)Reply
3. "and when asked what he required, responded that he wanted to appoint his own team. Göring approved" - Shouldn't the period be replaced by a comma in this sentence?
reworded MisterBee1966 (talk) 07:12, 22 November 2014 (UTC)Reply
4. The article Defence of the Reich spells it as "Defence" not "Defense", so shouldn't this article also do that?
it is actually correct as is. I wrote the article in US-English not British-English, therefore the spelling of "Defense" (US-English) is correct MisterBee1966 (talk) 07:12, 22 November 2014 (UTC)Reply
5. "fellow fighter ace & Soviet POW" - Wouldn't it be more professional to write "and" instead of "&"?
reworded MisterBee1966 (talk) 07:12, 22 November 2014 (UTC)Reply
6. "Graf eventually re-married twice. His third marriage from May 1959 with Helga Graf, née Schröck, resulted in the birth of his son, Hermann-Ulrich born in 1959, and his daughter Birgit born in 1961" - This sentence triggers some questions. It starts off by saying Graf was re-married twice, but only mentions the third wife? If there is no information on the other two, I suggest mentioning that.
I had asked that question myself but I couldn't find info on his other wifes. MisterBee1966 (talk) 07:12, 22 November 2014 (UTC)Reply
7. It's just a suggestion, but how about writing "Bergström, Antipov & Sundin 2003" instead of "Bergström, Antipov and Sundin 2003"? I noticed virtually all other articles does that.
done, good spot
Virtually everything checks out just fine and the articles meets the GA-criteria, but would like the GA-nominators thoughts on the seven points addressed. Excellent job, this is a really good article. Jonas Vinther (speak to me!) 01:34, 22 November 2014 (UTC)Reply
Thanks for your review. Let me know if you have further questions or found other issues. MisterBee1966 (talk) 07:12, 22 November 2014 (UTC)Reply
Thanks for addressing the points. I'm going to pass the article. :) Jonas Vinther (speak to me!) 13:14, 22 November 2014 (UTC)Reply