Talk:Hawaii Five-0 (2010 TV series)/GA1

Latest comment: 6 years ago by TheDoctorWho in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: AmericanAir88 (talk · contribs) 03:35, 30 November 2017 (UTC)Reply


Good day, I hope you are having a fantastic weekend. I hope we can get through this easy and stress free.

Opening Comments

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Welcome to the review for Hawaii Five-o(2010 TV series). I structure my reviews like a trial. My reviews are all about your voice as I will simply post issues and you will do the work solving them. If necessary I will make very minor copy edits to the article if I feel they don't need a whole bullet point dedicated to them. Anyway, I am looking forward to working with you. AmericanAir88 (talk) 03:35, 30 November 2017 (UTC)Reply

Issues

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@TheDoctorWho:

  • The lead needs to be expanded, especially the parts around " Like the original, it follows an elite state police task force set up to fight crime in the state of Hawaii."  Done
  • The ending of the lead has two sentences of season seven and season eight. I suggest removing the season seven sentence and expanding on the eighth season sentence.  Done
  • "The task force answers only to the Governor of the state of Hawaii and is given immunity and means to investigate crimes ranging from terrorism to kidnapping." Elaborate more on the immunity and the crimes.  Done
  • "McGarrett chooses as his partner Honolulu PD Detective-Sergeant Danny "Danno" Williams." This area of the premise confused me.  Done
  • The character listings in the "Premise" section becomes run-on and drags.  Not done -Accepted
  • Any info on Kimee Balmilero? If not move to recurring cast section.  Done
  • "This version did not go beyond the script stage." Citation Needed  Done
  • "Production on the pilot was shot in and around Honolulu from February to April 2010." Citation Needed  Done
  • "Exteriors representing Five-0 headquarters in the series are located at the Judiciary History Center of the Supreme Court Building in Honolulu, directly across the street from Iolani Palace, which represented Five-O headquarters in the original series." Citation Needed  Done
  • The Broadcast and Streaming Section needs reworking.  Done
  • Tons of Reference Errors.

AmericanAir88 (talk) 03:17, 6 December 2017 (UTC)Reply

  • @AmericanAir88: I fixed almost all the issues you mentioned above. I will not able to fix the "Premise" section without removing some of the character listings. I was also not able to find information on the part about the script so I removed the single sentence. Everything else should be fixed. TheDoctorWho (talk) 04:04, 6 December 2017 (UTC)Reply

Second Rethrough: @TheDoctorWho:

  • References 25 and 32 and still broken. Also reference 32's title needs to be changed as it contains a url.
  • The lead doesn't need "expected to contain 24 episodes" put something along the lines of "On March 23, 2017, CBS renewed the series for an eighth season which premiered on September 29, 2017.
Everything else was perfect AmericanAir88 (talk) 00:47, 7 December 2017 (UTC)Reply
@AmericanAir88: Alright those two things should be fixed. TheDoctorWho (talk) 01:04, 7 December 2017 (UTC)Reply

All Issues have been solved, the review table will now begin. AmericanAir88 (talk) 20:19, 7 December 2017 (UTC)Reply

Review Table

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Rate Attribute Review Comment
1. Well-written:
  1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct. Check
  1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation. Check
2. Verifiable with no original research:
  2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline. Check
  2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose). Check
  2c. it contains no original research. Check
  2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism. Check
3. Broad in its coverage:
  3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic. Check
  3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style). Check
  4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each. Check
  5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute. Check
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
  6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content. Check
  6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions. @TheDoctorWho: Maybe add an image of the entire main cast or the setting. For the length, one photo seems minimal.
@AmericanAir88: I added a photo of the cast.
Check
  7. Overall assessment. Passed

Closing Comments

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Congratulations on passing. Your dedication and hard work was fantastic. I hope we can work together in the near future. Have a fantastic day. If you need any help on anything just ask. If you want me to take a look at any other articles you have for review, I will be more than happy to. Thank you. AmericanAir88 (talk) 03:32, 8 December 2017 (UTC)Reply

Thank you so much for helping me to make this a good article! Let me know if there's anything I can ever do for you! TheDoctorWho (talk) 03:35, 8 December 2017 (UTC)Reply