Talk:Entertainment industry during World War II

Latest comment: 1 year ago by R23$94ACQ3R in topic Article needs rewriting

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

edit

  This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 14 January 2019 and 25 April 2019. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Balkees Al-Jaafari, Abdulazizjalthani, MahaThAl.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 20:45, 17 January 2022 (UTC)Reply

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

edit

  This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 1 April 2019 and 14 June 2019. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): SARZ86.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 20:45, 17 January 2022 (UTC)Reply

edit

Hello fellow Wikipedians,

I have just modified 3 external links on Entertainment industry during World War II. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:

When you have finished reviewing my changes, you may follow the instructions on the template below to fix any issues with the URLs.

This message was posted before February 2018. After February 2018, "External links modified" talk page sections are no longer generated or monitored by InternetArchiveBot. No special action is required regarding these talk page notices, other than regular verification using the archive tool instructions below. Editors have permission to delete these "External links modified" talk page sections if they want to de-clutter talk pages, but see the RfC before doing mass systematic removals. This message is updated dynamically through the template {{source check}} (last update: 5 June 2024).

  • If you have discovered URLs which were erroneously considered dead by the bot, you can report them with this tool.
  • If you found an error with any archives or the URLs themselves, you can fix them with this tool.

Cheers.—InternetArchiveBot (Report bug) 20:47, 24 December 2016 (UTC)Reply

Peer Review - Yassine Ouahrani

edit

Hello,

The topic of the entertainment industry during the World War 2 is a very interesting and important when studying the history of film. I think that overall you did hit all the beats in terms of what the article promises. I like the geographical and technological division by section and the clarity of your arguments that went into each argument, though I have a couple of suggestion and observations that have to do with citing, precision and structure.

First of, I think you need to be more precise throughout your article because you make very important statement but do not give examples to them. For instance, the introductory paragraph mentions the melding of governments with media for manupolatary reasons but you do not say which did it exactly, which leaves your statments largely unfocused at times. The same goes for sub-sections such as the first paragraph of "radio" or "film".

I suggest you correct the lack of precision by adding examples and referring directly to historical events. Secondly, I think it is mandatory you make use of more sources throughout the artcile. Adding wikipedia hyperlinks will not be enough as you make many claims and lay down many important information without refering to a given source. For example, the introductory paragraph and the first claims made about radio are in need of sources so that we the reader can be situated in terms of where the content is from.

Lastly, I was a bit confused with the structure. As written above, I liked that you divided by technology and country but I didn't understand why countries were under film and not radio. My piont being that a lack of continutity under subsections can make the article look uneven and therefore non-credible to the reader.

Overall, I would say that the foundation is defintely present. It is now a matter of tuning and reshuffling through the artcile in my opinion. Hope it helps and good luck!

YO — Preceding unsigned comment added by YassineNUQ (talkcontribs) 18:03, 23 March 2019 (UTC)Reply

Article needs rewriting

edit

Upon examining this article, I have discovered that it is in drastic need of rewriting. Some spots are full of grammatical mistakes, and informal language is present throughout; many points are vague and lack elaboration, as well, implying a poorly written article. R23$94ACQ3R (talk) 04:36, 25 November 2022 (UTC)Reply