Talk:Edward Puttick/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Anotherclown (talk • contribs) 11:21, 15 May 2013 (UTC)

Progression

• Version of the article when originally reviewed: [1]
• Version of the article when review was closed: [2]

Technical review

• Citations: The Citation Check tool reveals no issues with reference consolidation (no action req'd).
• Disambiguations: no dab links [3] (no action req'd).
• Linkrot: external links check out [4] (no action req'd).
• Alt text: Images lacks alt text so you might consider adding it [5] (suggestion only - not a GA criteria).
• Copyright violations: The Earwig Tool reveals no issues with copy violations or close paraphrasing [6] (no action req'd).
• Duplicate links: no duplicate links (no action req'd)

Criteria

• It is reasonably well written.

  a (prose): b (MoS):

  • Seems a little stilted: "Edward Puttick was born in Timaru, Southern Canterbury, New Zealand, the son of a railway worker from London." Perhaps consider: "The son of a railway worker from London, Edward Puttick was born in Timaru, in Southern Canterbury, New Zealand."
    •  Done
  • "On 27 March, Puttick was wounded in the chest when leading...", consider instead: "On 27 March, Puttick was wounded in the chest while leading..."
    •  Done
  • "He was evacuated to England for treatment. After some recuperation, he commanded the New Zealand Rifle Brigade's training camp in Brocton, Staffordshire." Consider instead: "He was evacuated to England for treatment and after recuperating, commanded the New Zealand Rifle Brigade's training camp in Brocton, Staffordshire."
    •  Done
  • "In 1920, Puttick was appointed commander of the Fiji Expeditionary Force. This was raised following a request from the Fijian government for military forces to support local police dealing with striking labourers and farmers." Consider instead: "In 1920, Puttick was appointed commander of the Fiji Expeditionary Force, which had been raised following a request from the Fijian government for military forces to support local police dealing with striking labourers and farmers."
    •  Done
  • Lacks context: "When New Zealand declared war on Germany..." When?
    • Rephrased.
  • Possible missing word here: "...to make a counterattack to support defenders of Maleme airfield...", consider: "... to make a counterattack to support the defenders of Maleme airfield..."
    •  Done
  • Unclear what you mean here: "Any meaningful chance of the Allies successfully defending the capture of the island...", do you mean: "Any meaningful chance of the Allies successfully preventing the capture of the island..."?
    • How did I manage to phrase it like that?! Anyway,  Done
  • No MOS issues I could see.

• It is factually accurate and verifiable.

  a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

  • All major points cited using WP:RS.
  • No issues with OR.

• It is broad in its coverage.

  a (major aspects): b (focused):

  • Most major points seem to be covered without going into undue detail.
  • Level of coverage seems appropriate.

• It follows the neutral point of view policy.

  a (fair representation): b (all significant views):

  • No issues here.

• It is stable.

  No edit wars etc.:

  • No issues here.

• It contains images, where possible, to illustrate the topic.

  a (tagged and captioned): b (Is illustrated with appropriate images): c (non-free images have fair use rationales): d public domain pictures appropriately demonstrate why they are public domain:

  • Images are PD and seem appropriate to the article.

• Overall:

  a Pass/Fail:

  • Looks quite good, just a few prose issues to work through / discuss. Anotherclown (talk) 11:46, 16 May 2013 (UTC)
    • Thanks for the review AC - all points addressed. Zawed (talk) 09:55, 17 May 2013 (UTC)
      • Passing now. Anotherclown (talk) 10:07, 17 May 2013 (UTC)