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Latest comment: 10 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
User:Hammel a, you've got a good start with this. My main suggestion would be to rewrite the lede: make it a little more of a straightforward summary of the rest of the text, and also elaborate a bit more (and more explicitly) on why Allen is historically significant, right from the first sentence. (The answer I infer is that it's because he left such a good account of his trip westward during a time when westward migration was a big part of what was going on in the United States more broadly, rather than because his accomplishments as an entrepreneur, pioneer, and civil engineer, as emphasized at the beginning.) The more that can be done—based on the to Larson and Johnson book—to tie Allen's story into broader historical topics, the better.--ragesoss (talk) 14:18, 13 November 2013 (UTC)Reply
