Talk:Dragon Age: Origins – Return to Ostagar/GA1
Latest comment: 2 years ago by Haleth in topic GA Review
GA Review edit
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Reviewer: Tintor2 (talk · contribs) 13:23, 11 June 2021 (UTC)
- I'll be reviewing this article. Probably today and the weekend.Tintor2 (talk) 13:23, 11 June 2021 (UTC)
- Lead
- There is a lack of game genre when mentioning it in the first sentence.
- Fixed
- The premise sentence is quite long. Try splitting them into two sentences.
- Done.
- "Return to Ostagar is a post-launch single-player narrative content pack for Dragon Age: Origins." This sentence feels a bit random. My guess is that it is meant to give an intro about the DLC's creation but it feels random. Either make it more meaningful to the article or remove it.
- I forgot to emphasize that it was the game's first post-launch DLC. Let me know what you think. If it fits better into the body as opposed to the lede, or if it should still be omitted, let me know.
- Gameplay
- There seems to be a mix between gameplay and narrative. I would suggest retitling the the section "content".
- Done.
- Development and release
- Everything seems good here but there might be a need to explain who is "producer Mark Darrah"
- Done.
- Reception
- "Return to Ostagar received some favorable review" might come across as repetitive since the previous paragraph mentions the Metacritic's comment. I would replace it with "Positive response focused on..."
- Revised and tweaked the sentence and the one after it.
- I'm kinda confused with some websites. Why are some written without italics when the score template uses the italics?
- Fixed mistake.
- "GameRevolution was highly critical of the pack's weak storytelling, dull combat, overly class-specific loot and poor variety of opponents, praising only its "excellent re-imagining of Ostagar"" This sentence feels a bit weird. This is probabbly review material but not to be written in Wikipedia unless you use "quotes".
- It was not a direct quote from the source, but my own summary of the issues they raised. I've revised the sentence now.
@Haleth: Those are the issues I found. I'll pass it when you revise them. Sorry for the big delay in such review in the project's word.Tintor2 (talk) 18:28, 11 June 2021 (UTC)