Talk:Donny van de Beek/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sportsfan77777 (talk · contribs) 00:23, 4 July 2018 (UTC)

I am planning to review this article in the next week. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 00:23, 4 July 2018 (UTC)

My preliminary comments are to address some of the points that Courcelles brought up in the last review.

• There is still no "Early life" or "Personal life" section. Done RRD (talk) 05:56, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
• There is still nothing on his U19 appearances.

From the Soccerway profile, it is evident, that the matches were in European under-19 championship qualifiers. RRD (talk) 11:51, 11 July 2018 (UTC)

I'll add some more comments soon. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 19:33, 6 July 2018 (UTC)

More comments:

• Lead
  • Remove "currently" from first sentence. (see WP:RELTIME)  Done RRD (talk) 05:20, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
  • Change "side" to "club" in the first sentence.  Done RRD (talk) 05:20, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
  • The image in the infobox is no longer available on Flickr. You do not need an image, though.  Done RRD (talk) 11:51, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
  • This should be two sentences: In the 2016–17 season, he was included in the Europa League Team of the Week in November. and He also progressed to the final that year but lost to Manchester United. Done RRD (talk) 05:20, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
  • Van de Beek has often been scouted by top European foreign clubs like such as Bayern Munich and FC Barcelona. ("often" doesn't add anything) Done RRD (talk) 05:20, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
  • Link Bayern Munich and FCB above Done RRD (talk) 05:20, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
  • There should be a sentence in the club paragraph about playing full-time and scoring a decent number of goals in the 2017–18 season. Done RRD (talk) 11:53, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
  • In the international arena competition (sounds more encyclopedic)  Done RRD (talk) 05:20, 11 July 2018 (UTC)

• Early life and background
  • As Courcelles pointed out, there should be an early life or personal life section. Done RRD (talk) 05:56, 11 July 2018 (UTC)

• Club Career
  • General comment: Divide the paragraphs by season instead of year. This is common practice for football articles.
    • The first paragraph should end after: At the end of the 2014–15 season, he won the AFC Ajax Talent of the Future award.
    • The second paragraph should end after: Spanish newspaper Mundo Deportivo reported that Barcelona was considering options to secure his services.
    • The third paragraph should end after: He went on to replace Schöne in the 70th minute of the Europa League final against Manchester United, with Ajax losing the match 2–0.[26]

 Done RRD (talk) 05:56, 11 July 2018 (UTC)

• • General comment: Mention that Ajax finished each season in second place at the end of the 2016–17 and 2017–18 season paragraphs.

Mentioned in honours. RRD (talk) 11:53, 11 July 2018 (UTC)

• • On 27 January 2015, he signed a contract extension, which will to keep him at the club until mid-2018 (future tense no longer applies, since it is mid-2018 now)

 Done RRD (talk) 05:56, 11 July 2018 (UTC)

• • debut for the Jong Ajax

 Done RRD (talk) 05:56, 11 July 2018 (UTC)

• • On 26 November, he made his European debut (already said it was November)  Done RRD (talk) 05:56, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
  • Switch the order of these two sentences: Commenting on the goal, he said that he would not soon forget it.[14] In the same match, his head collided with opposition player Joona Toivio's causing his left eyebrow to bleed.[15] Done RRD (talk) 10:41, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
  • Also, replace In the same match with As he scored the header. Right now, it's not clear that the head injury happened while he scored the goal. Done RRD (talk) 10:41, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
  • He went on to win the club's Goal of the Month Award for the goal. That goal also won him the club's Goal of the Month Award. (change emphasis)
  • Champions League debut against PAOK starting in the 1–1 draw

I do not understand what you mean. RRD (talk) 10:41, 11 July 2018 (UTC)

• • In April 2017, the Daily Express reported that Barcelona and Bayern Munich were scouting Van de Beek.[27] (move this to the previous paragraph before the description of the Europa League final) Done RRD (talk) 10:41, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
  • The 2017–2018 preseason matches should be labelled "2017–18" (cut the second 20)

 Done RRD (talk) 10:41, 11 July 2018 (UTC)

• • You are missing the end of the 2017–18 season. That is important, considering it is his only full season thus far.

• Style of Play
  • Specify what the number six position means. (See MOS:JARGON)  Done RRD (talk) 11:51, 11 July 2018 (UTC)

• International Career
  • As Courcelles pointed out, U19 appearances should be documented in the prose. Did he play in any big tournaments? Did any of his four goals come in big matches?
  • It is clear that the non-Dutch teams (Germany, Scotland, England) are all under-17. No need to re-write that. Done RRD (talk) 11:51, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
  • Change the last sentence to: "they finished runner-up to England" to avoid re-using the word "final" Done RRD (talk) 11:51, 11 July 2018 (UTC)
  • Note that debut against Romania was a friendly. Done RRD (talk) 11:51, 11 July 2018 (UTC)

• Career Statistics
  • The citations should be next to the club names, not the season years, if they are just general links.

The MOS states that each row must be individually cited. RRD (talk) 11:51, 11 July 2018 (UTC)

• Honours
  • For Eredivisie runner-ups, just one citation at the end of the line is better.

Information in BLP must be individually sourced. RRD (talk) 11:51, 11 July 2018 (UTC)

• Other
  • The article is well-cited.
  • All the links work! Hooray!
  • No plagiarism detected.

• Overall
  • I think the article is not too far from being a GA. Most of the comments are minor.
  • The most important comments are to add an "Early or Personal Life" section, and to fill in the last club season (2017–18).
  • Also note: The most recent season should be more detailed than previous ones since he played more that year.

That's all I have for now. I'm placing the review on hold to give you time to address these issues. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 20:24, 6 July 2018 (UTC)

• @Sportsfan77777: All the issues raised have been adressed. RRD (talk) 11:53, 11 July 2018 (UTC)

Okay, it looks better now. A few more things I've spotted:

• Lead
  • he made his competitive debut for the club in an a UEFA Europa League match (it should be 'a', not 'an')
  • In 2017 During the 2017-18 season, Van de Beek established himself as a fixture in Ajax's starting eleven. He scored his first hat-trick for the club and finished the season further went on to score 10 more with 13 goals during the season. (Add that he became a starter this season. Just cite the total goal tally, since the hat trick wasn't his first set of goals during the season.)
  • Put the sentence on scouting as the last sentence in the paragraph (since it is not so time-sensitive)

• Personal life
  • In the very first part, there's a capitalization typo for Van de Beek
  • took Donny to its their stadium
  • Rody plays for who plays for Veensche Boys (typo)
  • There is an extra space before the very last citation.

• Club career
  • Given the length of the section, I would suggest adding a few sub-section headers. Maybe just two of them: "Early career" at the beginning, and "2016–present: Ajax first team mainstay" for the last part.
  • and was also playing played regularly for the Ajax under-19 team in the UEFA Youth League. (mainly a tense issue)
  • Champions League debut against PAOK, starting in the 1–1 draw. (Add a comma. Sorry about the confusion before.)
  • Van de Beek replaced He went on to replace Schöne in the 70th minute of the Europa League final against Manchester United, with Ajax losing the match 2–0.
  • He scored a goal in both the legs...
  • scored a hat-trick in a an 8–0 league victory ('an', not 'a')
  • besides giving adding six assists (I don't think "giving" sounds right here.)

@Royroydeb: Once these last few things are addressed, I'll pass it. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 01:09, 15 July 2018 (UTC)

@Sportsfan77777: I have made the changes. RRD (talk) 07:17, 15 July 2018 (UTC)

Passed! Sportsfan77777 (talk) 15:58, 15 July 2018 (UTC)