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Latest comment: 14 years ago4 comments2 people in discussion
Keep feeling I've brought this up before: German naval historian Erich Gröner, in his book German Warships 1815–1945, stated that the ships were regarded as excellent sea boats by the German navy, The article isn't about German naval historian Groner, so I'm thinking possibly a rewording of this sentence is in order. How about: The Navy regarded these ships as excellent sea boats. (then citation).??? Other comments to follow, but wow, this is a good article. Even a history geek untutored in the intricacies of ships can understand this one.Auntieruth55 (talk) 00:43, 29 August 2009 (UTC)
odd usage of the word suffered Lützow suffered four 12-inch shell hits in her bow from the British battlecruisers... During.... four 12-inch shells, fired by British Battlecruisers, hit Lutzow's bow? "The crew was picked up by four torpedo boats that had been escorting the crippled battlecruiser; during the battle the ship suffered 116 men killed... during the battle 116 of the crew were killed, or 116 men were killed.....?
(Derrflinger) Her crew suffered 157 men killed and 26 wounded, which was the highest casualty figure for any ship not sunk. Of her crew, 157 men were killed and 26 wounded, the highest casualty figure for any ship not sunk...? (Derrflinger GA, that's where I remember the Groner phrase from).
verb tenses was sunk, usually you're using a straightforward past-tense. "At 16:26, HMS Queen Mary was sunk after a magazine explosion that tore the ship apart; she had been targeted with a hail of heavy-caliber gunfire from Derfflinger and Seydlitz." At... Mary sank after a magazine explosion tore the ship apart; she had been targeted with a hail of ....Reply
These sorts of things....we've been on this merry-go-round before.... :) Auntieruth55 (talk) 00:55, 29 August 2009 (UTC)Reply
Hi, Auntieruth. I fixed the Groner's thing, for some reason I did that again. I changed some of the "suffered"s, but I think it's fine to say that the crew suffered x amount of casualties/etc. I was thinking that "was sunk" would imply an external action having caused the ship to sink, but looking at it, it's passive voice, which is not the best option. So I fixed that too. Thanks a lot! Parsecboy (talk) 22:39, 29 August 2009 (UTC)Reply
Passive voice=bad; active voice=good. :) Re suffered, probably the most straightforward thing to say is the crew lost. Or 15 crewmembers died. Nice article, though. Auntieruth55 (talk) 01:15, 30 August 2009 (UTC)Reply
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