Talk:DMC DeLorean/GA3

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Binksternet (talk · contribs) 22:17, 11 September 2020 (UTC)

Reviewing. Binksternet (talk) 22:17, 11 September 2020 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

   Hopefully, we're done with the very disruptive 40+ edit war with the co-owner of PJ Grady auto restoration, a conflict-of-interest problem, who last edited seven weeks ago.

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

The article is in pretty good shape but it needs some tweaks and polishing. Below is my list of things to do. Binksternet (talk) 23:11, 11 September 2020 (UTC)

• Basic grammar and punctuation.
  • One reference in the Pricing section must be shifted after the full stop
  • "mid 70's" should be mid-1970s
  • 10-mph bumper should not have a hyphen
  • In the Engine and drivetrain section, the phrase "that was designed" appears to follow a full stop. You may want to start a new sentence there.
  • In the Suspension section, the type of suspension should be followed by the word "with" and then the list of features. One comma to trim. Reword the repetition. "The vehicle has a four-wheel independent suspension with coil springs and telescopic shock absorbers."
  • "higher than expected" is descriptive so it ought to be "higher-than-expected"
  • In one sentence you say "erroneously" and "not true" which is excessive. One of those is enough.
  • Redundancy in the steering paragraph: two instances of "fitted". Reword one.
  • In the Reception section, break up the too-long sentence beginning with "All of them noted"
  • In the Problems and issues section, the header could be "Quality problems" or "Quality issues"
  • In that section the word "issues" appears too many times. Some rewording needed.
  • The words "incorrect" and "incorrectly" in the same sentence could have one reworded or trimmed.
  • The phrases "owed them money" and "still unpaid" are redundant. One is enough.
  • In the Options section the factory options semicolon should be a regular colon. I think the sentences can be trimmed to the following: "The DeLorean came with two factory options: manual or automatic transmission, and the choice of a grey or black interior. The grey interior became available mid-1981 model year."
  • All of the semicolons should be changed to commas in the sentence beginning "Several dealer options "
  • "...continuously throughout the life cycle" isn't quite right. How about "...continuously throughout the manufacturing run"?
  • Change some stuff: "visibly two separate pieces on early 1981 models and the armrest has a tendency" to "visibly two separate pieces on early 1981 models; this armrest had a tendency"
  • "...made by Craig" makes it sound like just the cassette was Craig, not the radio. The Craig name can be moved in front of AM/FM.
  • The header "Wooden Mock-up" should have lower case 'm'.
  • In that section, "Sports Car" should be lower case.
  • In that section, "and subsequently" could be removed to create two sentences. (Very often the concept of "subsequently" is already understood from context.)
  • Wording suggestion: "This mock-up would serve as the platform in which the prototype was developed" could be changed to "This mock-up would serve as the template for the prototype."
  • The sentence leading to Ulster Folk and Transport Museum is too wordy. That stuff should be worked into the preceding paragraph. The Ulster URL is dead, and I did not find any particular detail by searching the Wayback Machine at archive.org, just the bare fact that they have a DeLorean display.
  • In the Legend turbo cars section, a bit can be trimmed: "develop a turbocharged version of the DeLorean" to "develop a turbocharged version."
  • Comma follows Andover, Hampshire, in running prose. Same with Humble, Texas.
  • In the Back to the Future section, a long sentence could be broken in two, the one starting "Six DeLorean chassis..."
  • What makes the Petersen vehicle "official" when they just have one of six?
  • Ellipses should be the ellipses character … or three periods, not two, and definitely not two then quotes then a full stop. At the Road & Track quote, all the ellipses may be removed.
• Lead section
  • Let's break up the long sentence into two pieces, the one starting "It became widely known"
  • I got the impression that a lot of small changes happened to the produciton run, so it's strange to see the statement "the car was generally unchanged, although minor revisions" etc. So many minor revisions made for lots of changes. Maybe "car was generally unchanged" could be "car kept its basic styling"
  • The lead section is a bit short. May I suggest a paragraph calling out the car's reception in the 1980s and the retrospective view.
• Referencing
  • The PDF reference supporting the "NHTSA issued guidelines for the Low Volume Vehicle Manufacturing Act" does not mention the DeLorean or DMC Texas, and definitely does not support the conclusion that DMC Texas can keep working on their production scheme. Looks like the sentence must be removed, or another reference found.
• Copyvio
  • There are copycat websites that have pasted big chunks of this article into their webpages. Which makes the job more difficult, hunting for copyvio.
  • The www.aacamuseum.org references have all copied the article text as it appeared a few years ago. They must be removed per WP:CIRCULAR.
  • A tiny bit of copyvio from the Road & Track source, the portion "to get in and out of the car". Perhaps this could be "to enter and exit the car".

Seeing as how the DMC Texas group has not produced a single redesigned car, perhaps their section can be shortened and rewritten with less optimistic wording. The last news item about their progress was published in January 2019. Doesn't look good.

I wonder if the Pricing and options section could bring the images up level with the text instead of having separated galleries. The two pricing images could be pushed right with text left, and the opposite for the two options images. This would snug up the article's whitespace for a leaner appearance.

Expandinglight5, let's start working on this list, and we can keep the review open until it's all good. Binksternet (talk) 00:39, 12 September 2020 (UTC)

Binksternet, thank you so much for your detailed feedback. I've updated the article accordingly. The only exception is the images in the Pricing and options section. Perhaps my Wikipedia skills aren't quite up to par but I've struggled with setting the proper image size for these items. On a previous GA review, an editor pointed out the previous issues with sizing and the only solution I found was to reivse into the gallery that is currently used in the article. Perhaps you or another editor could lend a hand in revising the images?

Kindly give the article another pass to see if you are in agreement with the changes or if you've found any other issues the second time around. Expandinglight5 (talk) 03:12, 13 September 2020 (UTC)

• Good stuff, very responsive. Thanks for your vigor!
• I took a swipe at lower level punctuation et cetera to save time. Hope you don't mind. You still had a grocer's apostrophe in 1970's (should be 1970s).
• I removed the PDF about NHTSA issued guidelines because of WP:SYNTH problems. It didn't say anything about DMC Texas or DeLorean.
• Can we tell the reader that epo-wood is some kind of combination of wood and epoxy? If it is?!! I'm no expert on the matter, and a lot of readers will be in the same boat. You likely know best how to proceed. Binksternet (talk) 04:29, 13 September 2020 (UTC)

Thanks for the correction regarding the apostrophe and any other punctuation. I added some clarification regarding epo-wood as well. As for the PDF on the NHTSA, those documents would never reference DMC Texas or any other company that may take part in the program. It's simply a guideline based on the act passed in 2015. Criteria for this bill would be detailed on the Low Volume Vehicles Manufacturers Page and based on the bill, the Delorean replicas would fall under this act.

Expandinglight5 (talk) 05:19, 13 September 2020 (UTC)

Y You have brought this to Good Article status. Congratulations! Binksternet (talk) 14:49, 13 September 2020 (UTC)

Binksternet, thank you so much for all of your help. I'm glad I was able to help bring this article to good status. At what point does the GA review close and the article is marked accordingly? Should GA3 be transcluded to the main talk page of the article? Expandinglight5 (talk) 16:14, 13 September 2020 (UTC)

People are saying Legobot is not working right, so I updated the article and the talk page manually. The article history banner at the top will show all the GA reviews if you hit "show", so no need to transclude. Binksternet (talk) 16:23, 13 September 2020 (UTC)

Image tweaks

Regarding the suggested image tweaks in Pricing and options, I put my idea into the article so you can see what I meant. I optimized it for my 1600 pixel wide screen resolution. I don't know how well it will scale for other screens, and for mobile. Tell me what you think. Be honest. Binksternet (talk) 04:47, 13 September 2020 (UTC)

The images for the pricing intrude on the options section below. Perhaps you can align below instead of to the right?

Do you feel the gallery for the other changes section should be revised as well?

Expandinglight5 (talk) 05:19, 13 September 2020 (UTC)

The gallery with four images fills up the white space better, so no complaints there. Same with the two hoods.

It's possible to allow the text to wrap around the multiple image of two hoods, but I'm not insisting on anything. You would do it by moving the multiple image stuff above the related text instead of below it.

Expandinglight5, I tweaked the images again, attempt number 2, adding a 'clear' tag below the section to keep the images from intruding downward. I also replaced the optional stripe image with a cropped version of the same shot. Let me know if the clear tag fixes what you were seeing. You must have a larger screen width than me. Binksternet (talk) 14:37, 13 September 2020 (UTC)

It depends on the device. I've reviewed the page on my desktop (widescreen monitor), iPhone and tablet and you get wildly different results. I think it's fine the way it is as there is no way to satisfy all. The image does hug the text better now than in the gallery. I think we're good. Expandinglight5 (talk) 16:08, 13 September 2020 (UTC)