Talk:Cirrus cloud/GA1

Latest comment: 13 years ago by Reaper Eternal in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: 12george1 (talk) 02:22, 8 March 2011 (UTC)Reply

Lede
  • Question: what is a "tuft"? I don't know very much about clouds, and I have no idea what a "tuft" is. Then I look up the definition on Google, and I will I get is stuff about Tuft University and hair.
    • I changed the wording to "bunched into tufts" - the individual strands sometimes end up clumped together like tufts of hair. Reaper Eternal (talk) 20:56, 10 March 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • "They can even form from the outflow of cyclones or the anvils of cumulonimbus clouds." - I have two issues with this. First, it makes it seem like something unusual (which is not) when it says "They can even form from the outflow of cyclones"; why not re-write as "In addition, Cirrus clouds can form from the outflow of cyclones or the anvils of cumulonimbus clouds."? Second, don't put simply "cyclones",
Description
  • "Wikilink" the following terms: kilometres, miles, liter, gallon, micrometre, Celsius, Fahrenheit, and NASA (BTW, spell out as National Aeronautics and Space Administration, and then put "NASA" in parenthesis). In addition, find an earlier location to link ice in this section.
  • "However, the range of cirrus cloud thicknesses is .1 kilometres..." - it looks a bit awkward just have .1, like for example, some might see it as a horrible grammar mistake, like there being a period in the wrong place. So, why not put it as 0.1 kilometres?
  • You should probably abbreviate kilometres, because you have mi in parenthesis.
  • "Another data source is satellite measurements from the SAGE (Stratospheric Aerosol and Gas Experiment) program." - Link Stratospheric Aerosol and Gas Experiment, BTW, you have it backwards, it should actually be "SAGE" in parenthesis.
  • Convert micrometres to millimetres
  • "...this can range from 1 ice crystal per 10,000 liters (3.7 ice crystals per 10,000 gallons)..." - Spell out the number 1.
Formation
  • "...water vapor freezes into ice crystals at altitudes above 8000 meters (26,000 ft)." - add a comma in 8,000.
  • Abbreviate kilometres, per above reasons.
  • Convert "1 micrometer to 100 micrometers" to millimetres.
In cyclones (formation subsection)
  • Thunderstorms can be "wikilinked" at the top of the section paragraph, rather than the third.
  • On the picture caption of Hurricane Isabel, you should at least change the link to Isabel from "Hurricane Isabel (2003)" to "Hurricane Isabel", since that name was retired and it will be a redirect.
Use in forecasting
  • "Within the tropics, 36 hours prior to the center passage of a tropical cyclone, a veil of white cirrus clouds approaches from the cyclone's direction" - I have got two issues with this one. If you link tropical cyclone (well, "cyclone's" in this case) in the lede, then delink it here. Second, this sounds like something that would belong in the "In cyclones" section, because it would not necessarily be used for tracking a tropical cyclone.
    • Wikilinked in lead. Actually, the veil of cirrus had been used to predict the arrival of cyclones, so I don't think that it should be moved. Reaper Eternal (talk) 19:13, 11 March 2011 (UTC)Reply
  • On the second paragraph, you should mention where it was that Benito Vines observed the cloud, since we don't have an article for Belen College.
Effects on climate
  • "When cirrus clouds are only .1 kilometres (0.062 mi)..." - Again, change it to 0.1 kilometres.
  • Again, abbreviate kilometre
  • "However, current evidence (as of 2005) does not support this." - Revise this sentence to say "However, evidence currently does not support this.", since if it was done in 2005, it is technically not "current".
    • Revised to not include the word "currently". Now it states that evidence as of 2005 does not support this. Reaper Eternal (talk) 19:28, 11 March 2011 (UTC)Reply
Optical phenomena
Sources
  • Watch for date consistency, for example, ref #2 has the date as 2005-10-16, but ref #34 has the date reading June 19, 2006. Remember to also look for this problem in the Bibliography section.
    • Dates and accessdates in the refs now all use DD Month YYYY format. Reaper Eternal (talk) 19:24, 11 March 2011 (UTC)Reply
Summary
Everything seems to be good enough for GA at this point, so I will pass this article. Congratulations,--12george1 (talk) 22:38, 12 March 2011 (UTC)Reply
Thanks! Reaper Eternal (talk) 15:25, 14 March 2011 (UTC)Reply