Talk:Cherry blossom/GA1
GA Review edit
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Chiswick Chap (talk · contribs) 16:56, 20 February 2024 (UTC)
Preliminary comments edit
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Comments edit
- Lead section contains fifteen refs, of which eleven, namely nos [5]–[15], are not repeated in the article body. The MOS states that the lead should only summarize the article body, not introduce "new" materials. I suggest we remove all fifteen from the lead, which will entail moving the eleven unrepeated ones into the article body, probably along with the text that they cite.
- Most of the 'Gallery' will need to be removed or distributed over the list article; I note in passing that it is rather Canada-heavy but that won't be this article's problem either.
The article itself can have a "See also" link to the split-off list.
- A more minor issue is the number of uncited claims, but since this is readily fixable I don't see it as grounds for a quick-fail in itself. Chiswick Chap (talk) 17:16, 20 February 2024 (UTC)
- "the pistil changes like a leaf" - not sure what this means, please reword.
- "Cherry ... leaves are edible........ Since the leaves contain coumarin, which is toxic...": these statements are basically incompatible; perhaps we should say "edible in small quantities", or something of that sort.
- Yoshino cherry is written "Somei-Yoshino" in its article, but as Somei Yoshino and "Somei-yoshino" here. Let's go with the standard format, i.e. caps, hyphen, not italics.
- The section 'Blooming season' mentions "cherry-blossom viewing" (i.e. Hanami), so it would be best to move the section after "Flower viewing in Japan".
- I'd suggest renaming "Flower viewing in Japan" to the more explicit "Hanami: Flower viewing in Japan" to match the section's text.
- "where many of the game's trees bloom with cherry blossoms." -> "where many of the game's trees are flowering cherries."
- "embodied in the concept of mono no aware.[32]" Please add a gloss "(the pathos of things)" after the Japanese term here. I do wonder whether a somewhat more detailed discussion of the concept would not be appropriate here, as it seems to have driven the whole of sakura and perhaps hanami as well?
- In fact, why not create subsections of 'Symbolism in Japan', as there are separate and major topics covered here without distinction. I'd suggest:
- 4 Symbolism in Japan
- 4.1 Mono no aware: the pathos of things (first half of first paragraph, with additional material to be written)
- 4.2 Nationalism and militarism
- 4.3 Irezumi: Japanese tattoos (and the term needs to be in italics in the text)
- 4.4 Popular uses (unless you are sure these are all mono no aware: if so, merge)
Images edit
Taking from the discussion that the article's subject is "Sakura" or "Japanese ornamental cherry blossom" or equivalent title, I'll assume that the "Gallery" will be removed and will not therefore review those images here (though the Osaka Castle image is fine if you want to put it somewhere in the text). It is a moot point whether images of Sakura in other parts of the world will be appropriate to the article, but given that these represent Japanese influence, I see no reason why they can't be used here and there.
- The choice of the first lead image as the Oshima Cherry in Jardin des Plantes is a bit of a test case; my view is that the lead should contain exactly one image, and I'd suggest one from Japan, such as "Yachounomori Garden, Tatebayashi, Gunma, Japan"; the other images should be moved into the article body.
- All the images are from Commons and are plausibly licensed there.
- "Cherry blossoms in Seattle" does not appear to be of any distinctive variety and does not seem to be associated in any way with the text, so I suggest we delete it.
- The Hiroshige print should have its date, 1858, at the end of the image caption.
- Please repeat the ref from the text in the caption for "Jindai-zakura [ja], a 2,000-year-old Prunus itosakura".
- A citation is needed for the caption "The Japan national rugby union team is nicknamed the "Brave Blossoms", and have sakura embroidered on their chests"; the claim needs to be repeated in the section text.
- I'll note in passing that the rugby image is a very small detail of a much larger image, so the quality is poor. It seems surprising that this is the best photo of a rugby shirt that can be found, but if so, it would be an idea to place a photo request for someone to take a photo for the article on the talk page (not a GA requirement).
- An image to support the militarism symbolism would be very helpful (not a GA requirement).
Sources edit
- [6] "Are cherry trees" needs a date.
- [7] "Basic knowledge" - needs date, |language=Japanese tag, |title= in Japanese and |trans-title= in English.
- [28] needs date and author (14 July 2023; Skidmore, Maya).
- [58]: "Brandow Samuels, Gayle." - what is that?
- [59] needs a date.
- [61] Huxley needs page number or subsection/entry name.
- Cultivars list: this has 5 citations at top, but 7 of the items are cited to 2 more sources. What does this mean, that all the other items are cited to all 5 of the top sources? It looks piecemeal, and is very hard to verify. Suggest you do as for [68] Katsuki 2017 and repeat each source for each variety in the list that it verifies. We only need one (or perhaps two) sources per variety.
- Refs used repeatedly with different page numbers, like Katsuki 2015 (e.g. [15] [17] [22] [30] etc) - will be better to list the book citation once in 'Sources' (after 'References') and then reference this with {{sfn|Katsuki|2015|pp=40–56}}, etc, rather than repeating the citation over and over (or worse, displaying page numbers in the text with the rp tag). And by the way, the book is in Japanese, so it needs tags as for [7] above.
- Please provide Japanese title and language tag for all items written in Japanese. You might consider providing a transliteration of the Japanese title, too.
- Reference style: we have some authors like "Bandini, Rosemary" and and some like "Ivan Morris". Suggest we use "Last, First" throughout, which will be automatic if you use |last= and |first= parameters as standard.
- I notice that Japanese names are given in different ways in the text. At the top of 'Flower viewing in Japan' we have parentheses in two different forms: "sakura (桜 or 櫻; さくら or サクラ) or ume (plum) trees." Why is the Japanese script not given for ume?
- Further down the section we have "Usuzumi-zakura [ja]" very properly in an inter-language link (ill) tag, without the Japanese name being displayed in the main text. Is this a deliberate choice not to trouble the reader when names are less commonly used, as for individual trees? If so it's reasonable.
Summary edit
- This article is almost ready for GA, most of the items noted being very minor and I hope speedily fixed. Chiswick Chap (talk) 10:38, 21 February 2024 (UTC)
- I'd like to think I've addressed everything that needs addressing here, other than maybe expanding upon Mono no aware? Reconrabbit 20:42, 22 February 2024 (UTC)
- Great work. I think the article now clearly covers "the main points". There is scope for expanding the Mono no aware aspect later (on the rocky road to FAC). It's a GA. If you have time to pick an article from the GAN list to review, that'll be much appreciated. Chiswick Chap (talk) 21:08, 22 February 2024 (UTC)
- I'd like to think I've addressed everything that needs addressing here, other than maybe expanding upon Mono no aware? Reconrabbit 20:42, 22 February 2024 (UTC)