Talk:Battle of Olongapo

Latest comment: 10 years ago by 99.109.198.136 in topic Comments/suggestions

Comments/suggestions edit

Hello, interesting article. I've had a quick look over it and re-assessed it as Start class, although it is very close to B class, IMO. Good work so far. I have the following comments/suggestions for further improvement:

  • could you please clarify what you mean here: "It was because during the Spanish-American War, the fleet of Admiral George Dewey unexpectedly saw no Spanish ships in the Olongapo area on April 30, 1898".
  • this also needs clarification as it is not quite clear what you mean: "However, what provoked the Americans was the last shot given by the Filipinos as Charleston withdrew to Sangley Point". Why did it provoke them - did it cause significant damage?
    I'm not the one who created the article but I understood this as being a violation of wartime etiquette: firing at an already withdrawing ship who is thus unable to respond. It's just like shooting a running man at the back. Lajbi Holla @ meCP 09:10, 20 September 2012 (UTC)Reply
    I've had a go at rewording this based on your explanation. AustralianRupert (talk) 04:48, 28 December 2012 (UTC)Reply
  • the lead should be expanded a little to summarise the whole article. For instance, another two or three sentences could be added to summarise the result;
  • "The Filipino battery responded with a single shot" --> why was this, was the battery put out of action/damaged or did the crew surrender?
  • if available, an image would be a great addition, although it is not a requirement for a successful B class rating (or even GA for that matter);
  • This probably needs to be explained a little, as it doesn't quite seem clear why this is relevant and/or why Aguinaldo disbanded them: "Emilio Aguinaldo effectively disbanded the regular Filipino army by November 13."

If you could cover off on the first four above points, I believe that it would be B class. Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 09:05, 20 September 2012 (UTC)Reply


USS Baltimore

The description of the Baltimore in this article seems to disagree with that in the linked article about the ship. The linked article describes the Baltimore as a protected cruiser (not a monitor), and her main armament consisted of 8" guns (not 10" or 12"). 99.109.198.136 (talk) 00:29, 23 September 2013 (UTC)Reply