Talk:Aimery of Cyprus/GA1

Latest comment: 3 years ago by Borsoka in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 18:16, 27 January 2021 (UTC)Reply


I'll get to this shortly--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 18:16, 27 January 2021 (UTC)Reply

Thank you for your comprehensive and thorough review. I hope I addressed all problems. Please let me know if any further action is needed. I highly appreciat your assistance. Borsoka (talk) 01:30, 7 February 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • Royal and noble titles are capitalized, so King of Cyprus, etc.
  • the Kingdom of Jerusalem according to most barons of the realm, because of the death of Sibylla and their two daughters awkward
  • The new king of Jerusalem, Henry II of Champagne, arrested him for a short period. Clarify if this is Aimery or Guy
  • You've got duplicate links that need to be removed
  • claimed, Aimery no comma
  • became the member "a" member?
  • writes, Aimery's change the comma to "that"
  • Aimery fell into captivity passive voice, "was captured"
  • pope refuted refused
  • French crusaders demanded him to launch "who demanded that he launch"
  • An Egyptian emir seized a fortress near Sidon and made plundering raids against the neighboring territory. After Al-Adil failed to stop the emir, Aimery's fleet captured 20 Egyptian ships and he broke into "invaded" Al-Adil's realm. Awkward and when did this happen?
  • link Nile Delta
  • The lawyers of the Kingdom of Jerusalem especially held him in high esteem.[69] He decided to revise the laws of the Kingdom of Jerusalem to specify royal prerogatives. Combine these two sentences--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 18:48, 6 February 2021 (UTC)Reply