Talk:5to Piso/GA2
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Reviewer: IndianBio (talk · contribs) 06:06, 7 April 2013 (UTC)
Toolserver updates about the album. There are redirects and dead links, please correct them first. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 06:09, 7 April 2013 (UTC)
- Are you working on this? —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 08:00, 9 April 2013 (UTC)
- I just realized about this... I don't have much time, but DivaKnockouts volunteered to help me on this . He will take care of all the issues :) — ΛΧΣ21 22:03, 9 April 2013 (UTC)
Done — DivaKnockouts 22:26, 9 April 2013 (UTC)
Starting with prose review, will be done in a few hours and before EOD. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 08:32, 15 April 2013 (UTC)
- Lead
*Produced by Arjona himself --> remove himself
- Change the as well as to something like " Produced by Arjona, Dan Warner, Lee Levin and Puerto Rican singer-songwriter Tommy Torres../"
- the album was recorded between the United States and Mexico --> the album was recorded in various studios between United States and Mexico
- released --> release
- If you are adding live quotes in the lead, it needs to be sourced.
- from several countries in Latin America --> from several Latin American countries
- Several singles --> Why not "Six singles"?
another major world tour --> missing info, other than Quinto Piso which is the major world tour?- Inconsistency between producers listed in the lead and that in the infobox
- This point is still pending. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 15:58, 17 April 2013 (UTC)
- Background
*We are a label that has a major catalog of songwriters and quality pop and rock from the likes of Maná, Alejandro Sanz, Laura Pausini, and now, Arjona. --> rephrase to passive phrase, too many quotes in such a small para
- He stated in an interview that the album's composition was inspired by that thought of trying to "recoup some of the freshness" of his previous releases --> Wrong construction. Try this "He stated in an interview that the inspiration behind the album was the thought of recouping some of the "freshness" of his previous releases.
all albums were result of evolution, as well as contradictions, which he celebrates as part of life --> Needs expansion, doesn't make sense what he meant.
- Composition
- You are directly starting with the song name. There's no content regarding the composition, or recording info, or mixing or people working on it etc
- I absolutely oppose that view. Information on the recording, the people who worked on it, or the locations, they create the base of a composition section. At present it reads abrupt and there is no join between the previous and the cuirrent para. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 15:58, 17 April 2013 (UTC)
*remove the word "themed"
- with analogic lyrics casting the absence of that beloved person --> doesn't make sense
- Still doesn't make sense, did you mean "analogical lyrics talking about absence of one's beloved person"? —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 15:58, 17 April 2013 (UTC)
*El Del Espejo" includes lyrics influenced by the "self-criticism" --> What, who's where self-criticism?
"became the witness of this character, from his childhood until his adulthood, always hiding his true identity with the goal of being socially accepted" --> no need to have this in quote, have it as a passive voiced content.- the next few lines, stuff like "just a chronicle", doesn't make any heads-and-tails out of it. Please correct it, I'm sure they are wrong
- Not done. Did you mean "just a coincidence"? I'm at a loss as to what you meant. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 15:58, 17 April 2013 (UTC)
- Please remove word like themed
- Not done. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 15:58, 17 April 2013 (UTC)
*The singer commented that "She was to do her trials and 'tickled' --> Who's "she"? I thought Ricardo wa a man?
- "Nadie Sabe A Donde Va" is inspired by the events occurred on 11 March 2004 in Madrid in the Atocha train station --> "Nadie Sabe A Donde Va" is inspired by the bombing which occured on 11 March 2004 in Madrid at the Atocha train station
- La Vida Está De Luto" is inspired by the actual situation of the planet --> What situation?
- The song was composed as to when heard, it "gives and immediate desire of drinking tequila" --> Firstly, doesn't make any sense, secondly who said that quote?
- In an interview, not "On an interview"
- Arjona talked about the collaboration with Paquita la del Barrio --> Arjona talked about the collaboration with Barrio (surnames only)
- agreeing that he neither --> agreeing that he did not duet either
The conclusion of this para is abrupt and context less
- Release
*which main sound is a piano --> and piano as the main sound
- The song became a critical and commercial hit for the singer --> The song was a critical and commercial hit for the singer
- No.2 --> No. 2 correct these numeric conventions throughout
- I don't see mention of the fifth and sixth singles?
Arjona expressed interest in singing in Cuba, showing no political commitments for the matter, a clear reference of the event Colombian singer Juanes was planning on that country in 2009 --> What event? What political matter? No context again
- Tried my best on the last one, otherwise the rest are done. — DivaKnockouts 13:20, 17 April 2013 (UTC)
- Reception
- How is Jason's review a positive one when you are saying that as per his review, his fans are going to be disappointed?
*Regarding the Grammy nom, you can mention to whom he lost, just to complete the information.
- Numerics correction
- 5to Piso reached No.1 again, totalizing six weeks at that position. --> for a total of six weeks at the top (there's no word called totalizing)
- What are the sources for retail sales of 200,000?
con that list?
*Billboard should be italicized, print media
- Please check for the printed medias,I'm not sure about the Spanish sources
- Many of these references do not have the "date=" parameter as in teh date in which they were written
- Why is PROMUSICAE listed for Mexican charts instead of AMPROFON?
- eltempo.com.ec, what is its reliability?
- Ref 45 0 47, I'm pretty sure they are online sources, so why are they italicized? Please check this throughout the article
- The PDF references need to have "format=PDF" included in the references
accessdate missing for some of them
That's all for now, much to do in terms of prose. I'm not sure if the developer of this article is a native speaker of English, but the prose needs real work. On hold. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 15:40, 16 April 2013 (UTC)
- All done! — DivaKnockouts 03:23, 17 April 2013 (UTC)
- No, all is not done, I can see initial problems from the lead pending, didn't even go through each and every point I made. I saw teh changes that you did and none of the prose issues were addressed. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 06:07, 17 April 2013 (UTC)
As I pointed out above, some were missed or needed more expansion and is left non-struck. Just another thing, use WP:ACCESS for the tables like you have for the certification table. Then address the unresolved comments above and we are good to go. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 15:58, 17 April 2013 (UTC)
- I believe I have addressed the issues. I will see if Hahc21 can use WP:ACCESS for the tables. — DivaKnockouts 16:45, 17 April 2013 (UTC)
Done — DivaKnockouts 13:57, 23 April 2013 (UTC)
- They weren't done properly, I corrected them. I also noticed that the references in the release history section don't use the {{cite web}}. Please use teh template as it is recommended. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 14:14, 23 April 2013 (UTC)