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Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/William Y. Slack

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article promoted by Zawed (talk) via MilHistBot (talk) 09:20, 29 June 2023 (UTC) « Return to A-Class review list[reply]

William Y. Slack edit

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Nominator(s): Hog Farm (talk)

William Y. Slack (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

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My first bio for A-Class review is a fairly straightforward one. If this goes well, I may try to take on some more complex ones. Slack was a lawyer and (briefly) politician who parlayed 16 months of experience as an O-3 equivalent in the Mexican War into being appointed a Brigadier General with the outbreak of war. Serving with a pro-Confederate militia and then later the Confederate Army itself, Slack fought in three significant battles and was shot in the hip in two of them. The second wound was fatal. Hog Farm Talk 13:35, 24 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Support by Nick-D edit

This is a well developed article about a somewhat obscure figure. I have the following comments

  • "After the outbreak of the American Civil War in April 1861, Slack began to support the Confederate cause" - I'd suggest noting here that he was in favour of slavery before the war, which I presume would have predisposed him to the Confederate cause
  • Can Slack's father be named?
  • There's an considerable over-use of 'Slack' (for instance, in every sentence of the paragraph that starts with 'After his military service ended' - some other paras are similar). I'd suggest mixing this up, though use of 'he' and other phrasing. Nick-D (talk) 09:54, 23 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]
    • @Nick-D: - Thanks for the review! I've addressed the first two and for the third have rephrased roughly 17 instances of "Slack" - hopefully the helps the issue. Hog Farm Talk 17:40, 28 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]
      • Those changes look good, and I'm pleased to support this nomination. Nick-D (talk) 11:05, 29 April 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Support from Gog the Mild edit

I have done a little copy editing as I have gone along. Could you let me know here if you object to any of it? Thanks.

  • "he served as a captain in the United States Army during the Mexican-American War." It may be helpful to tell a reader when this took place.
    • Added
  • "Returning to a legal career". And again.
    • I don't have a clear date on this, so I've noted in the lead that his service began in 1846 and lasted for 14 months.
  • Is "the Missouri State Guard" referred to as "the Guard" in the sources? I note that later you refer to it as "the MSG", sometimes using both in a paragraph.
    • It is to some extent, but I've standardized to MSG
  • "further Confederate and Guard troops". I know what you mean, but I suspect that you will confuse many readers with the implication that the Missouri State Guard were not Confederate troops.
    • I've linked directly to Confederate States Army here, in hopes that indicates better these are two quasi-allied organizations. Historically, the fact that the Missouri State Guard was not a part of the Confederate army played a significant role in the 1861 Wilson's Creek campaign.
Ok. To my eye, 'Confederate Army and MSG troops' helps a little here, but that may just be me. Similarly with the comparable case below. Gog the Mild (talk) 14:24, 12 June 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Slack transferred to the Confederate States Army". Is it known when?
    • Roughly
  • Is Slack's mother's name known?
    • Added
  • "as the legal market in Chillicothe was less crowded". Optional for ACR, this is a little clumsily phrased.
    • Have rephrased
  • "the Missouri state legislature." Definitely lower case initials?
  • "Despite opposing war". In general? Or just an American civil war in particular?
    • Clarified
  • "A 1927 article in the Missouri Historical Review states that Slack became a leading secessionist in the area after Fort Sumter." Why is the source for this given in line. Is there doubt or dispute over it?
    • This doesn't appear to be a controversial statement, in-line attribution removed.
  • "James S. Rains and Slack were ordered to". Any chance of a brief introduction of Rains?
    • Have glossed Rains's rank and commnad
  • Does Bearss have an ISBN and/or a publisher location?
    • This one's a fun one. The full text of the copyright page of the work is The Battle of Wilsons Creek by Edwin C. Bearss with battle maps by David Whitman published by George Washington Carver Birthplace District Association 1975 ARTCRAFT PRINTERS [logo identifying printer as a union shop] BOZEMAN, MONTANA It's over 1,000 miles from the George Washington Carver District to Bozeman, so I can only assume the Bozeman place is a physical printing location, not the location of the publisher. This source has been published in I think at least 4 different forms over its existence; the edition I have in particular seems to have a byzantine publishing history. No ISBN, but I've added an OCLC. Hog Farm Talk 04:40, 10 June 2023 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Prushankin writes that this deployment bought Price time to deploy other units into line." Again, s there a reason why this fact in particular needs in line citation?
    • Inline attribution removed
  • "although Prushankin suggests that Price may not have had authorization to do this." And again.
    • Probably not, removed
  • "that included both Confederate and MSG troops." So the MSG was not considered "Confederate" even after the creation of "the Confederate government of Missouri"?
    • It still wasn't, at least in theory - it was still, at least in theory, fighting for the state government of Missouri, even though said state government was essentially an administrative fiction by that point. Some of the MSG troops never even actually joined the Confederate army
  • "Historian Ezra J. Warner writes that Slack was ..."; "Historians William L. Shea and Earl J. Hess report that ..." False title.
    • Have corrected these two

Gog the Mild (talk) 11:56, 7 June 2023 (UTC)[reply]

    • No issues with the copy edits; I'll try to address these tomorrow and on Saturday. Hog Farm Talk 00:37, 9 June 2023 (UTC)[reply]
      • @Gog the Mild: - thanks for the review! Have made responses above; the only two that may be tricky are the bibliographic information for Bearss and then the general nature of the Missouri State Guard. Hog Farm Talk 02:24, 11 June 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Bearss seems to have been as well as may be. I have made a comment on the MSG thing above which you may or may not wish to go with. Bur I am happy to support regardless. Gog the Mild (talk) 14:24, 12 June 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Support Comments by Pendright edit

Back soon! Pendright (talk) 22:06, 19 June 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Lead:

  • William Yarnel Slack (August 1, 1816 – March 21, 1862) was an American lawyer, politician and military officer.
Slack was also a confederate military officer
Have added a bit to highlight that to the first sentence; he's really only known because of his CSA service
  • After the outbreak of the American Civil War in April 1861, Slack, who had supported slavery before the war, began to support the Confederate cause.
The suceeding paragraph suggests he "supported" (not began to support) the Confederate cause:
When the Missouri State Guard was formed the next month to oppose the Union, he was appointed as a brigadier general in the Guard's 4th Division.
I've tweaked the phrasing a bit here
  • Along with a number of other Missouri State Guard officers, Slack transferred to the Confederate States Army, in which he commanded a brigade with the rank of colonel.
Drop comma (,) in which and replace this with "where"
done
  • On March 7, 1862, during the Battle of Pea Ridge, Slack suffered another wound, close to his Wilson's Creek injury.
  • Suggest -> suffered another wound that was close to the injury he had received at Wilson's Creek?
  • Done

Early life and career:

  • The younger Slack was educated in the Columbia area,[2] studying law under one J. B. Gordon,[3] but returned to Kentucky in 1837 to further a legal career.
to "pursue" a legal career
Changed
  • After returning to Columbia in 1839, he was admitted to the bar and relocated to Chillicothe,[1] where he opened a law office, as the legal market in Chillicothe was less crowded.[3]
Drop the comma after Chillicothe,
Dropped
  • Slack married Mary E. Woodward in 1842 and fathered two children during the 1840s.[1]
and they had two children
Done
  • Slack's wife died in 1858; he remarried the next year and had two more children.
  • and "they" also had two children
  • Done
  • What was her name?
  • Added
  • After Abraham Lincoln won the election [in 1860], Slack considered [that] secession and war [were] likely.[6]
Suggest the above change
  • Done

Civil War service:

Recruiting and Battle of Carthage:

Suggest: Following Lincoln's election, a number of slave states in the Southern United States seceded from the United States and formed the Confederate States of America
Partially done - have phrased a little differently to avoid the close duplication of "United States". I don't know how useful a link to the 1860 election is, given that it's linked and discussed in the prior paragraph
  • Slack became a leading secessionist in the area after Fort Sumter.[9]
A word or phrase of transision is needed between these two sentences-> Transition (linguistics)
I've rephrased this sentence and moved it to before the Claiborne Jackson one
  • Federal forces commanded by Brigadier General Nathaniel Lyon dispersed Jackson's militia in the Camp Jackson affair , which [that] ended in a bloody riot.[10]
<>Suggest the above changes Pendright (talk) 20:01, 26 June 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for clarifying, done
  • After the events at Camp Jackson and the riot, the state legislature formed a new militia organization known as the Missouri State Guard (MSG), which was commanded by Price.
Might add Price's full name and title?
Added, but not linked (same Price as mentioned earlier)
  • From a base along the Chariton River, he recruited and trained soldiers for the MSG,[6] but [he] left the recruiting area in June , as Federal forces were moving into it.[14]
Suggest the above changes
Done
  • Sigel attacked the MSG lines, but was repulsed and driven back through Carthage itself.[10]
Drop the comma after lines or add "he" was
Dropped the comma

Wilson's Creek:

  • The MSG then gathered at Cowskin Prairie in McDonald County, but moved to Cassville to unite with McCulloch's command.
but "they" moved
Went with "it" instead of they because I think that's the better adjective for referring to the organization.
  • In early August, the combined forces of McCulloch and Price had begun an advance towards Springfield, and encamped along Wilson's Creek on August 7.[13]
Drop the comma after Springfield or add "theey" encamped
Removed the comma
  • Because of his wound, Slack missed the campaign associated with the Siege of Lexington,[28] but was able to resume command on October 11.[29]
but "he" was
Done
  • In November, a portion of the Missouri state government voted to secede, creating the Confederate government of Missouri, which functioned as a government-in-exile.[30]
A bit more of the story: Missouri quote: "With the elected governor absent from the capital and the legislators largely dispersed, the state convention was reassembled with most of its members present, save twenty who fled south with Jackson's forces. The convention declared all offices vacant and installed Hamilton Gamble as the new governor of Missouri. President Lincoln's administration immediately recognized Gamble's government as the legal Missouri government."
If it can be sourced, consider weaing a little of this into the text
I've fleshed this out a bit using another source
  • Price gave Slack a commission as a colonel in the Confederate army, although Price may not have had authorization to do this.
Why not?
source doesn't say, unfortunately

Pea Ridge and death:

  • Major General Earl Van Dorn was placed in command of Confederate forces in the Trans-Mississippi, and [he] began a campaign to retake Missouri.
Suggest the above change
Done
  • After driving back a Federal cavalry regiment, Slack's men encountered a stronger Federal line , [that] result[ed] ing in a brief clash of skirmishers ; during which [time] , Slack was shot.[33]
Consider the above
Partially done - I think "clash of skirmishers" is necessary here, and I'm not sure that "a stronger Federal line that resulted" works in AmEng
<>According to my dictionary,Clash and skirmish mean the same thing. In which case, one is redundant? Pendright (talk) 20:14, 26 June 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Skirmishers were a particular type of infantry - have linked to the proper article
  • Initially transported to a private home[,] east of the field, he was moved to another location 7 miles (11 km) to the east , in order to avoid capture by Federal forces.[27]
Suggest the above changes
Done

@Hog Farm: This is it for now! Pendright (talk) 00:40, 22 June 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry this took so long to get to. I've got one query above, and I'm not sure about one or two of the changes as noted above, but I've actioned everything else. Hog Farm Talk 00:32, 26 June 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Hog Farm: Left two <> responses! Pendright (talk) 20:14, 26 June 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Pendright: - Have made the change for Camp Jackson, and have explained the rationale for the current use on the other - "skirmisher" is a type of infantry Hog Farm Talk 20:59, 26 June 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Hog Farm: I support this nomination. Pendright (talk) 00:06, 27 June 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Image review - pass edit

All images are appropriately licenced, positioned, captioned and alt texted. Gog the Mild (talk) 13:20, 28 June 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Source review - pass edit

  • Footnotes are nicely formatted
  • Sources are good quality
  • Link John H. Eicher, David J. Eicher
    • Linked
  • Bearss (1975) Location?
    • See my response above to Gog on this point - bibliographic details are a bit sketchy on this point
  • Shea, William L.; Hess, Earl J. (1992): What state is Chapel Hill in?
    • Added
  • Stewart, Faye L. (1927). This citation is wrong. The article in question is in Volume XXII, issue 2 (January 1928) link to here so the reader can view the article
    • Oops - Google books seems to have attached the wrong cover page to the work
  • "Slack became a leading secession in his local area" I think you mean "secessionist"?
    • Fixed
  • Spot checks: 3a, 9, 14, 21 - okay
  • 2a: It says that his father moved to Boone County in 1819, but not that he became a JP in that year
    • @Hawkeye7: - [2a] is used only to support the date of 1819, [1b] is where the JP claim is from. I don't intend to claim a date of 1819 for the JP appointment, as that can't be determined from the sources (all I have is "soon" after the move) - does the article unintentionally read like it is providing an 1819 date for that? Hog Farm Talk 02:55, 28 June 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Hawkeye7 (discuss) 23:10, 27 June 2023 (UTC)[reply]

All good now. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:18, 28 June 2023 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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