Wikipedia:Peer review/Pauline Johnson/archive1

Pauline Johnson edit

This article has been recently touched up with copyediting and additional photos. Personally, I think it's ready for a GA nomination, but thought I should try it here first. It's also been nominated as the "Showcase article" for the Portal:Vancouver. Any feedback would be appeciated. Bobanny 00:08, 7 December 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Here are some suggestions:

Don't use the article title in section headings:"Pauline Johnson’s early life and education" should become "Early life and education"
Some of the 'works cited' and 'external links' should be incorporated in the article using references style
Dig up ISBN codes for the booke cited, as well as for her bibliography (For example The Moccasin Maker is ISBN 0-66-573499-9 )

--Qyd 00:39, 7 December 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, Qyd. I did these best I could: trimmed down external links, merged project gutenberg links in the bibliography, and dug up ISBNs where they exist. Bobanny 02:41, 7 December 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Hey there. I made some small copyedits, but I must admit to very limited knowledge on this topic. Here are some immediate reactions that might help:

In her family life, it is mentioned that Dan Hansen was baptised, but it isn't specified into which religion he was baptised. There is later reference to working with Anglicans, but I think it might be better if it were to be specified earlier.
Same section - there is a mention of working as a translator "on Six Nations". I realize that the grammar can imply different things about the status of the place in question, so I didn't try to edit it, but I don't think it's correct as is. Perhaps "within the Six Nations community" or "in Six Nations territory" ? Even "at Six Nations" strikes me as better...
Literary and Stage Career - "...contributed to the critical mass of Canadian authors who were constructing a distinct national literature." I feel like this should have a reference. The references in this article are, in general, pretty good, and the rest of the article is, in many ways, an argument for the validity of this statement, but if there were to be one that could be found easily, I think it would improve the article.

Hope this helps! AshleyMorton 13:26, 7 December 2006 (UTC)[reply]

I couldn't find a reference to specify Hansen's baptism, but I fixed the Six Nations sentence and added another source that situates Johnson in the emerging Canadian nationalist literture. Thanks for your feedback, Bobanny 18:09, 7 December 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Please see automated peer review suggestions here. Thanks, AZ _t 21:36, 10 December 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Well written article, learned something new today...only drawback on first impression, I'd prefer citations using ref tags, even CSS cite tags (which I can't stand), rather than Harvard style citations. —ExplorerCDT 07:10, 26 December 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, just skimmed the article and I think it's a great article overall. My problem though is the Family History section. I would say that that section isn't not entirely necessary. TonyJoe 23:36, 26 December 2006 (UTC)[reply]

- Thanks for the feedback. This article has also been peer reviewed at the biography project here and both the citations and family section came up there as well. I agree and will change them both when I get a chance. Bobanny 03:32, 27 December 2006 (UTC)[reply]