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Symbol support vote.svgThis user helped promote the article Ralph Patt to good article status.
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Guard him, ye poetic Powers!
Watch his Minutes, watch his Hours:
Lest your Tuneful Nine inspire him;
Lest poetic Fury fire him

A Panegyric on the New Versification

Nauty Pauty Jack-a-Dandy
Stole a Piece of Sugar-Candy,
From the Grocer's Shoppy-shop,
And away did hoppy-hop.

All ye Poets of the Age!
All ye Witlings of the Stage!
Learn your Jingles to reform!
Crop your Numbers and Conform:
Let your little Verses flow
Gently, Sweetly, Row by Row:
Let the Verse the Subject fit;
Little Subject, Little Wit.

Namby-Pamby is your Guide;
Albion's Joy, Hibernia's Pride.
Namby-Pamby Pilly-piss,
Rhimy pim'd on Missy-Miss;
Tartaretta Tartaree,
From the Navel to the Knee;
That her Father's Gracy-Grace
Might give him a Placy-Place.

He no longer writes of Mammy
Andromache, and her Lammy,
Hanging panging, at the Breast
Of a Matron most distrest.

Now the venal Poet sings
Baby Clouts, and Baby Things;
Baby Dolls, and Baby Houses,
Little Misses, Little Spouses;
Little Play-Things, little Toys,
Little Girls, and little Boys.

As an Actor does his Part,
So the Nurses get by Heart
Namby Pamby's Little Rhimes,
Little Jingle, Little Chimes,
To repeat to Little Miss,
Piddling Ponds of Pissy-Piss;
Cacking-packing like a Lady,
Or Bye-bying in the Crady.

Namby Pamby ne'er will die
While the Nurse sings Lullabye.
Namby Pamby's doubly mild,
Once a Man, and twice a Child;
To his Hanging-Sleeves restor'd;
Now he foots it like a Lord;
Now he pumps his little Wits;
Shitting Writes and Writing Shits,
All by little tiny Bits.

Now methinks I hear him say,
Boys and Girls come out to Play!
Moon do's shine as bright as Day.

Now my Namby Pamby's found
Sitting on the Friar's Ground,
Picking Silver, Picking Gold,
Namby Pamby's never old.

Bally-Cally they begin,
Namby Pamby still keeps in.
Namby Pamby is no Clown,
London-Bridge is broken down:
Now he courts the gay Ladee,
Dancing o'er the Lady-Lee.

Now he sings of Lick-spit Lyar
Burning in the Brimstone Fire;
Lyar, Lyar! Lick-spit, lick,
Turn about the Candlestick!

Now he sings of Jacky Horner,
Sitting in the Chimney-Corner,
Eating of a Christmas-Pie,
Putting in his Thumb, Oh, fie!
Putting in, Oh, fie! his Thumb,
Pulling out, Oh, strange! a Plumb.

Now he plays at Stee, Staw, Stud,
Sticking Apples in the Mud:
When 'tis turn'd to Stee, Staw, Stire,
Then he sticks 'em in the Mire.

Now he acts the Grenadier,
Calling for a Pot of Beer;
Where's his Money? He's forgot:
Get him gone, a Drunken Sot.

Now on Cock-horse does he ride;
And anon on Timber stride,
See-and-Saw, and Sacch'ry down,
London is a gallant Town!

Now he gathers Riches in,
Thicker, faster, Pin by Pin:
Pins a-piece to see his Show,
Boys and Girls flock Row by Row;
From their Cloaths the Pins they take,
Risque a Whipping for his sake;
From their Frocks the Pins they pull,
To fill Namby's Cushion full.

So much Wit at such an Age,
Does a Genius great presage,
Second Childhood gone and past,
Shou'd he prove a Man at last!
What must second Manhood be,
In a Child so bright as he?

Guard him, ye poetic Powers!
Watch his Minutes, watch his Hours:
Lest your Tuneful Nine inspire him;
Lest poetic Fury fire him:
Let the Poets, one and all,
To his Genius Victims fall.

— Wikipedian —
.mw-parser-output .templatequote{overflow:hidden;margin:1em 0;padding:0 40px}.mw-parser-output .templatequote .templatequotecite{line-height:1.5em;text-align:left;padding-left:1.6em;margin-top:0} :Then, blessing all, 'Go, children of my care! :To practice now from theory repair. 580 :All my commands are easy, short, and full: :My sons! be proud, be selfish, and be dull. :Guard my prerogative, assert my throne: :This nod confirms each privilege your own. — Alexander Pope, The Dunciad
Then, blessing all, 'Go, children of my care!
To practice now from theory repair. 580
All my commands are easy, short, and full:
My sons! be proud, be selfish, and be dull.
Guard my prerogative, assert my throne:
This nod confirms each privilege your own.
Education and employment
Occupationmathematical scientist and scientific statistician
Hobbies, favourites and beliefs
Hobbiesmusic, playing guitar
Aliasesresponds to "KW", "Kiefer", "Wolfie", etc.



I like epigraphs!

true eloquence I find to be none, but the serious and hearty love of truth: And that whose mind so ever is fully possest with a fervent desire to know good things, and with the dearest charity to infuse knowledge of them into others, when such a man would speak, his words (by what I can expresse) like so many nimble and airy servitors trip about him at command, and in well order'd files, as he would wish, fall aptly into their own places.

when complaints are freely heard, deeply considered and speedily reformed, then is the utmost bound of civil liberty attained that wise men look for." "For he who freely magnifies what hath been nobly done, and fears not to declare as freely what might be done better, gives ye the best covenant of his fidelity.

Other Puritans set high standards in the Westminster Larger Catechism:

  • A144: The duties required in the Ninth Commandment are, the preserving and promoting of truth between man and man,[1] and the good name of our neighbor, as well as our own; [2] appearing and standing for the truth;[3] and from the heart,[4] sincerely,[5] freely,[6] clearly,[7] and fully,[8] speaking the truth, and only the truth, in matters of judgment and justice,[9] and in all other things whatsoever;[10] a charitable esteem of our neighbors;[11] loving, desiring, and rejoicing in their good name;[12] sorrowing for,[13] and covering of their infirmities;[14] freely acknowledging of their gifts and graces,[15] defending their innocence;[16] a ready receiving of a good report,[17] and unwillingness to admit of an evil report,[18] concerning them; discouraging talebearers,[19] flatterers,[20] and slanderers;[21] love and care of our own good name, and defending it when need requireth;[22] keeping of lawful promises;[23] studying and practicing of whatsoever things are true, honest, lovely, and of good report.[24]
  • A145: The sins forbidden in the ninth commandment are, all prejudicing the truth, and the good name of our neighbors, as well as our own,[1] especially in public judicature;[2] giving false evidence,[3] suborning false witnesses,[4] wittingly appearing and pleading for an evil cause, outfacing and overbearing the truth;[5] passing unjust sentence,[6] calling evil good, and good evil; rewarding the wicked according to the work of the righteous, and the righteous according to the work of the wicked;[7] forgery,[8] concealing the truth, undue silence in a just cause,[9] and holding our peace when iniquity calleth for either a reproof from ourselves,[10] or complaint to others;[11] speaking the truth unseasonably,[12] or maliciously to a wrong end,[13] or perverting it to a wrong meaning,[14] or in doubtful and equivocal expressions, to the prejudice of truth or justice;[15] speaking untruth,[16] lying,[17] slandering,[18] backbiting,[19] detracting,[20] tale bearing,[21] whispering,[22] scoffing,[23] reviling,[24] rash,[25] harsh,[26] and partial censuring;[27] misconstructing intentions, words, and actions;[28] flattering,[29] vainglorious boasting,[30] thinking or speaking too highly or too meanly of ourselves or others;[31] denying the gifts and graces of God;[32] aggravating smaller faults;[33] hiding, excusing, or extenuating of sins, when called to a free confession;[34] unnecessary discovering of infirmities;[35] raising false rumors,[36] receiving and countenancing evil reports,[37] and stopping our ears against just defense;[38] evil suspicion;[39] envying or grieving at the deserved credit of any,[40] endeavoring or desiring to impair it,[41] rejoicing in their disgrace and infamy;[42] scornful contempt,[43] fond admiration;[44] breach of lawful promises;[45] neglecting such things as are of good report,[46] and practicing, or not avoiding ourselves, or not hindering: What we can in others, such things as procure an ill name.[47]

About Me

Name "Kiefer.Wolfowitz"

Jack C. Kiefer and Jacob Wolfowitz were two statisticians and mathematical scientists. Their eponymous theorems include the "Kiefer-Wolfowitz" (first-order) optimality criterion in the optimal design of statistical experiments and also the "Kiefer-Wolfowitz" methods of stochastic approximation (estimating an optimum when using only noisy function evaluations).

Professional interests

History in encyclopedia articles

Some thoughts (following some edits of History of macroeconomic thought, which again has added fringe economics).


The first Encyclopaedia was created by French philosophes during the Enlightenment. Since the time of Diderot and D'Alembert, Encyclopedias have striven to cover the best currently available thought and to sketch the development of these thoughts.

Immanuel Kant wrote an essay "Idea towards a universal history with a cosmopolitan intent" (along with "What Is Enlightenment?").


Charles Sanders Peirce wrote extensively on the history of science:

  • Peirce, C. S., Historical Perspectives on Peirce's Logic of Science: A History of Science, 2 vols., Carolyn Eisele, ed., Mouton De Gruyter, Berlin, New York, Amsterdam, 1985, x + 1,131 pages, hardcover (ISBN 978-0899250342, ISBN 0899250343).

His familiarity with science, as a practitioner and as a historian "at close quarters", helped him to formulate and to give an improved account of the scientific method, which accounted for progress in mathematics, logic, and science:

  • (1877–1878), "Illustrations of the Logic of Science" (series), Popular Science Monthly, vols. 12–13:
    • (1877 November), "The Fixation of Belief", Popular Science Monthly, v. 12, pp. 1–15. Reprinted (CLL 7–31), (CP 5.358–387), (PWP 5–22), (SW 91–112), (W 3:242–257), (EP 1:109–123), (PSWS 144–159). Eprint. Internet Archive Eprint. Wikisource:The Fixation of Belief.
    • (1878 January), "How to Make Our Ideas Clear", Popular Science Monthly, v. 12, pp. 286–302. Reprinted (CLL 32–60), (CP 5.388–410), (PWP 23–41), (SW 113–136), (W 3:257–276), (EP 1:124–141), (PSWS 160–179). Wikisource:How to Make Our Ideas Clear. Arisbe Eprint. Internet Archive Eprint.
    • (1878 March), "The Doctrine of Chances", Popular Science Monthly, v. 12, March issue, pp. 604–615. Reprinted (CLL 61-81), (CP 2.645-668), (W 3:276-290), (EP 1:142-154). Internet Archive Eprint. Selections plus CP 2.661-668 and CP 2.758, published as "The Doctrine of Chances With Later Reflections", PWP 157-173.
    • (1878 April), "The Probability of Induction", Popular Science Monthly, v. 12, pp. 705–718. Reprinted (CLL 82-105), (CP 2.669-693), (PWP 174-189), (EP 1:155-169). Internet Archive Eprint.
    • (1878 June), "The Order of Nature", Popular Science Monthly, v. 13, pp. 203–217. Reprinted (CLL 106-130), (CP 6.395-427), (EP 1:170-185). Internet Archive Eprint.
    • (1878 August), "Deduction, Induction, and Hypothesis", Popular Science Monthly, v. 13, pp. 470–482. Reprinted (CLL 131-156), (CP 2.619-644), (EP 1:186-199). Internet Archive Eprint.
  • (1883), "A Theory of Probable Inference", Studies in Logic, Boston: Little, Brown, and Company, pp. 126-181. Reprinted (CP 2.694-754),(W 4:408-453).

Peirce's student, John Dewey, adapted some of Peirce's ideas—any changes always being for the worse. (Dewey's politics were excellent, however: He supported unions in the Pullman Strike, was a founder of the League for Industrial Democracy, defended victims of Soviet communism and Stalinist purges, etc.).


Alasdair MacIntyre has written about the philosophy of science:

  • MacIntyre, Alasdair (1977). "Epistemological crises, dramatic narrative and the philosophy of science in historicism and epistemology" (PDF). The Monist. La Salle, Illinois. 60 (4): 453–472. Reprinted as chapter 1 "Epistemological crises, dramatic narrative and the philosophy of science" in Macintyre's 2006. The tasks of philosophy: Selected essays, volume 1. Cambridge University Press.

MacIntyre has written several philosophically sophisticated histories of ethics:

*1971. Against the Self-Images of the Age: Essays on Ideology and Philosophy. London: Duckworth. This collection has less concern with historical philosophy but is brilliant.

MacIntyre has acknowledged the genius of Peirce's account of progress in the last decades.


I prefer accessing these references here, rather than asking the search engine for help.



*WP:Biographies of living persons
*Restoring deleted content: "The burden of proof is on those who wish to retain, restore, or undelete the disputed material. When material about living persons has been deleted on good-faith BLP objections, any editor wishing to add, restore, or undelete it must ensure it complies with Wikipedia's content policies. If it is to be restored without significant change, consensus must be obtained first"


Good things to know

Writing articles

"I know how to write down words on a piece of paper? That’s what you do, man, you put down one word after the other as it comes in your head. It isn’t like having to learn how to play the piano, like you have to learn notes. You already learned in school how to write, didn’t you? I hope so. You have the idea and you put down what you want to say. Then you get somebody to add in the commas and shit where they belong, if you aren’t positive yourself. Maybe fix up the spelling where you have some tricky words. There people do that for you. Some, I’ve even seen scripts where I know words weren’t spelled right and there was hardly any commas in it. So I don’t think it’s too important. You come to the last page you write in ‘Fade out’ and that’s the end, and you’re done.”

This collection is useful for editing articles.

Text editor

Style manuals


Wikipedia projects and selected articles

For several WikiProjects, I've contributed to many articles (more significantly to those with emboldened titles).

As an editor, I focused first on design of experiments and more recently on computational statistics and econometrics, related to convex minimization. Then I focused mostly on convexity in economics, non-convexity (economics), and Shapley–Folkman lemma. Lately, music has been my main area of editing.

It has been a pleasure to learn from more experienced (and energetic) editors such as David Eppstein and Melcombe.


The editing of footers is plagued with disagreement on their purpose, organization, and inclusion criteria. However, we can try to improve existing footers:

Did you know? (DYK)

Labor donated

  The 25 DYK Creation and Expansion Medal
Congratulations on reaching your 25th DYK! It's not the highest profile area of wikipedia, but it needs as many good articles as it can get, and you're clearly doing a good job!

Oh and I'll let you add yourself to the List of Wikipedians by number of DYKs

I've added some images here:

Did you know


Guitar tunings

Open tunings
Table of open tunings
Open tunings
Major triad Repetitive Overtones Other (often most popular)
Open A (A,C,E) A-C-E-A-C-E A-A-E-A-C-E E-A-C♯-E-A-E
Open B (B,D,F) B-D-F-B-D-F B-B-F-B-D-F B-F-B-F-B-D
Open C (C,E,G) C-E-G-C-E-G C-C-G-C-E-G C-G-C-G-C-E
Open D (D,F,A) D-F-A-D-F-A D-D-A-D-F-A D-A-D-F♯-A-D
Open E (E,G,B) E-G-B-E-G-B E-E-B-E-G-B E-B-E-G-B-E
Open F (F,A,C) F-A-C-F-A-C F-F-C-F-A-C C-F-C-F-A-F
Open G (G,B,D) G-B-D-G-B-D G-G-D-G-B-D D-G-D-G-B-D
Overtones tuning


Regular tunings
Major-thirds tuning
Repetitive tuning


Ralph Patt


Major-thirds tuning


Augmented fourths


  • ... that, while the standard guitar-tuning E-A-D-G-B-E includes one major third amid four perfect fourths (illustrated), the augmented-fourths tuning B-F-B-F-B-F has only tritone intervals? 4 July 2012, 2524 Visitors

Discipline Global Mobile

Heroes of freedom struggles

Against fascism

Alfie Fripp


C. A. Patrides

Against racism and communism

The Polish labor union Solidarity was supported by Tom Kahn of the AFL–CIO and Carl Gershman of the National Endowment for Democracy. The picture displays the 21 demands of Solidarity.
George Meany
Penn Kemble
Carl Gershman
Tom Kahn

Mathematical sciences

Functional analysis

Svante Janson
Hans Rådström
Kharkiv (Kharkov)
Mikhail Kadets

Variational analysis

Ivar Ekeland


Robert Phelps


John Rainwater
  • ... that, despite having been created as a student prank, a fake mathematician is the author of several well-received research papers and is the namesake of the functional-analysis seminar at the University of Washington? 1 April 2012, 10,032 Visitors]
Peter Orno
  • ... that the fictitious mathematician Peter Orno's pseudonymous abbreviation "P. ORNO" was inspired by erotic publications? 7-8 May 2012, 2775 Visitors]

Mathematical sciences

Optimization and economics: Convex sets

Most of these were done following the excellent leadership of David Eppstein

Criss-cross algorithm


Jon Folkman
Shapley–Folkman lemma
Non-convexity (economics)
Andreu Mas-Colell
Graciela Chichilnisky


Design of experiments
Gustav Elfving
Henry B. Mann


Robert V. Hogg


Wikipediocracy's documentation was the source cited for a story on the Russian-language Wikipedia's suppression of information about marijuana "inhalation devices".


Thank you for quality articles on tuning and mathematicians, even fictitious ones, for tuned comments to well-wishers, and for striving for serenity when you are "right but others are not ready to listen", - you are an awesome Wikipedian! --Gerda Arendt (talk) 09:43, 22 August 2012 (UTC)


  The Working Man's Barnstar
In appreciation of your work on Shlomo Sawilowsky‎, I hereby award you this barnstar.--Iulus Ascanius (talk) 14:53, 8 February 2010 (UTC)
  The Barnstar of Diplomacy
for your tireless liaison work at Wikipedia:Arbitration/Requests/Case/Monty Hall problem. Elen of the Roads (talk) 13:59, 25 March 2011 (UTC)
  The Barnstar of Integrity
For keeping the good of the Wiki ahead of thy personal glory, I hereby grant thee, Kiefer.Wolfowitz, this Barnstar for thy great expansion and neutralizing of Social Democrats, USA Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:00, 31 May 2011 (UTC)

  The Workers' Barnstar
This user has shown great editing skills in improving articles related to Communism or Socialism.
  • ...For your ongoing efforts to eliminate tendentious distortions from histories and biographies relating to 1970s American radicalism. Carrite (talk) 16:21, 18 October 2011 (UTC)

  The Good Article Barnstar
Thanks Kiefer.Wolfowitz for helping to promote Tom Kahn to Good Article status. Please accept this little sign of appreciation and goodwill from me, because you deserve it. Keep it up, and give some a pat on the back today. --Sp33dyphil ©© 08:12, 23 November 2011 (UTC)
  The Genuine Barnstar
KW, I present this barnstar in commemoration of the recent birth in your family. Petaluma, California was the center of the universe for Jewish socialist chicken ranchers 100 years ago. That was the environment where my father-in-law was born. That's where I took this photograph. Thank you for all that you do for Wikipedia, and I bid you peace. Cullen328 Let's discuss it 06:44, 12 August 2012 (UTC)
  The Tireless Contributor Barnstar
For your contributions to Discipline Global Mobile sir. You deserve it! :) Yasht101 09:48, 15 April 2012 (UTC)
  The Guitarists Award
For your efforts into guitar tunings on Wikipedia. As a guitarist myself I find some of them very useful! Pictured is a Tenor Balalaika, but what the heck it's a stringed instrument! ♦ Dr. Blofeld 11:45, 16 June 2012 (UTC)
  The Barnstar of Diligence
For your efforts to date in improving Guitar chords. ♦ Dr. Blofeld 13:11, 10 September 2012 (UTC)
   The Good Article Barnstar and Music Barnstar
I congratulate for you tireless efforts on editing Ralph Patt to good article. You are, certainly, welcome for your ... valuable vast efforts for the mystery of music and honor of Wikipedia. --GoShow (............................) 17:37, 17 October 2012 (UTC)
  The Surreal Barnstar
Between your ArbCom role playing game and this edit, you have provided me with at least two very trippy 5:00AM style moments in the last week. "Surreal" certainly is a good word for it, and so I award you this Surreal Barnstar. Ks0stm (TCGE) 11:07, 17 November 2012 (UTC)
  The Random Acts of Kindness Barnstar
For never forgetting your kindness and humanity in AN discussions, and for understanding that bans should only be used as a last resort. Thanks. ~ DanielTom (talk) 09:50, 21 April 2013 (UTC)

Food and drink

  Good taste award
I've hopped over to that fancy restaurant in Copenhagen to bring you a nourishing dish of marv med syltede grøntsager. Elen of the Roads (talk) 21:57, 13 December 2012 (UTC)
This editor is a Most Perfect Tutnum and is entitled to display this Book of Knowledge with Coffee Cup Stain and Cigarette Burn.

Labor donated