Template:Did you know nominations/Naqsh Lyallpuri

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Yoninah (talk) 20:50, 9 February 2017 (UTC)

Naqsh Lyallpuri edit

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... ~~that Naqsh Lyallpuri, Indian ghazal and Bollywood lyricist, adopted his last name from his birth place?~~ Source: "He later adopted his pen name (takhkhallus) Naqsh and added ‘Lyallpuri’ to it in adherence with the tradition of Urdu Shayari to be identified by the town one belonged to." (Source)

Reviewed: ~~TBD~~ Yamuna Eri

Created by Dharmadhyaksha (talk). Nominated by Vivvt (talk) at 09:10, 26 January 2017 (UTC).

General: Article is new enough and long enough
New enough: Long enough:

Policy: Article is sourced, neutral, and free of copyright problems
Adequate sourcing: Neutral: Free of copyright violations, plagiarism, and close paraphrasing:

Hook eligibility:

Cited:
Interesting:

QPQ: Done.

Overall: I would propose more interesting hook,

ALT1: ~~that Naqsh Lyallpuri, Indian ghazal and Bollywood lyricist, adopted his first name from his pen name, and his last name from his birth place?~~ Regards, Krishna Chaitanya Velaga (talk • mail) 15:36, 30 January 2017 (UTC)

@Krishna Chaitanya Velaga: Sorry but that's like explaining a joke. Proposing ALT2 as below. §§Dharmadhyaksha§§ {Talk / Edits} 19:16, 2 February 2017 (UTC)

ALT2... that following the tradition of Urdu poets, Bollywood lyricist Naqsh Lyallpuri adopted his last name from his birthplace, which was later also adopted by his family?

"which later his family also followed", I find that phrase a bit confusing, try to reword. Regards, Krishna Chaitanya Velaga (talk • mail) 14:10, 7 February 2017 (UTC)

@Krishna Chaitanya Velaga: How about "and also adopted by his family?" - Vivvt (Talk) 14:56, 7 February 2017 (UTC)

@Vivvt: Please present the entire sentence before I pass. Regards, Krishna Chaitanya Velaga (talk • mail) 15:12, 7 February 2017 (UTC)

@Krishna Chaitanya Velaga: Tweaked. Please check now. - Vivvt (Talk) 15:27, 7 February 2017 (UTC)

GTG with ALT2. Regards, Krishna Chaitanya Velaga (talk • mail) 15:16, 9 February 2017 (UTC)

@Krishna Chaitanya Velaga: Thanks for your review. - Vivvt (Talk) 15:55, 9 February 2017 (UTC)