Talk:Subtropical Storm Four

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Subtropical Storm Four (1974)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 15:48, 5 April 2019 (UTC)

• The fifteenth tropical cyclone and fourth subtropical storm of the 1974 Atlantic hurricane season - it wasn't a tropical cyclone though

• Actually, it wasn't the fifteenth anyway. Better?--12george1 (talk) 16:47, 6 April 2019 (UTC)

• The storm initially approached Florida, making its closest approach early on October 7. - kinda redundant. Could you merge these thoughts?

• Better?--12george1 (talk) 16:47, 6 April 2019 (UTC)

• "the Bahamas" - The should be capitalized

• Done--12george1 (talk) 16:47, 6 April 2019 (UTC)

• The heavy rainfall destroyed about 50% of winter vegetable crops in Broward County and about 25% of the eggplant crop and 5%-10% of pepper, squash, and tomato plants in Palm Beach County - that's a lot of detail for the lead. Could you make this simpler?

• Better?--12george1 (talk) 16:47, 6 April 2019 (UTC)

• developed offshore of eastern Cuba. - offshore is already a preposition, so you don't need both

• Done--12george1 (talk) 16:47, 6 April 2019 (UTC)

• It then moved slowly north-northwestward and intensified slowly. - can you pick a different word than "slowly" twice? :P

• Done--12george1 (talk) 16:47, 6 April 2019 (UTC)

• The storm dropped 11.5 in (290 mm) in Deerfield Beach. - this feels out of place, considering you mentioned two other rainfall totals in the previous paragraph

• Done--12george1 (talk) 16:47, 6 April 2019 (UTC)

• The impact section is decent, but it seems like you're trying real hard to make it drawn out. It feels redundant, considering you have the Florida intro paragraph (I guess that's what it is), then three Florida impact paragraphs. I guess it's fine, but you mention a lot of the same types of impacts. I'd rather see one paragraph about Florida, focusing on the erosion effects/waves all at once, as well as road closures. Your Florida intro paragraph already says "Many coastal streets were closed due to either sand deposited on the roads or tidal flooding." I'd prefer to see this sentence followed by, "including portions of State Road A1A, North Federal Highway, ...." You don't have to do this for the GAN. It's not necessary, and the structure of the article does work fine, but it stood out to me.

• I get what you're saying, but I feel like to would be better to be more specific about which parts closed and it would be harder to just do that in one sentence with each of them. For example, I don't think I should just say "portions of State Road A1A", as that runs from Miami to almost all the way Georgia. So we're talking about like 3 or 4 miles of a road that's nearly 340 miles long--12george1 (talk) 16:47, 6 April 2019 (UTC)

Overall the article is decent, but try and get more clarity on the damage total. The infobox says "at least $1 million", and the article says Throughout Florida, the storm may have caused several millions of dollars in damage,[3] though other sources state that damage did not exceed $1 million. If it didn't exceed $1 million, then it can't be at least $1 million. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:48, 5 April 2019 (UTC)

Rename article?

@12george1: - can you come up with a more descriptive article name than this? ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 23:18, 23 January 2024 (UTC)