Talk:Fort St. Andrews

Latest comment: 8 years ago by Corinne in topic Created talk page/B-class assessment

Created talk page/B-class assessment edit

Since there was no talk page for the article, I decided to create one. I gave it an initial Start-Class rating and provided some, hopefully useful, ideas below.

Notes:

Regarding the introductory paragraph:

1. This paragraph serves as an introduction to the rest of the article, really it should be a summary of major points the article addresses, the majority of the introductory paragraph in the article covers the construction and design of the fortification which really belongs in the main body of the article.

Regarding the main body:

1. First thing that struck me here was the last paragraph discussing the invasion of Georgia, immediately I was wondering why did the Spanish invade? you link to the article on the invasion of Georgia but I would recommend that you also include a short summary of the cause alongside how this relates to the fort.

a. For example; the invasion of Georgia was caused by a contention over claims for the territory, the Spanish claimed it for their colony of Florida and considered the British occupation of the territory illegal...this led to...and Fort Andrews was abandoned. (This is only an example, with the blanks quite obviously missing).

2. As discussed above the main body of the article is where the construction and design of the fort belong, alongside this I also suggest giving a more detailed explanation of the features of the fort.

Why a water battery? and what is a water battery? (as far as I am aware, the water battery was used to stop wooden construct ships from being able to approach the fort by damaging the mast and preventing the ship from being able to move).
What is a star fort? and Why build it? (Yes, I know, it's star shaped), maybe not necessary but you can include an image of a star fort to help illustrate.
Side-note, a star-fort is not necessarily four pointed, Palmanova, Italy, had 9 points and Bourtange in Groningen had 5 points.
Star forts avoid the trap of "dead zones" which are areas for infantry to hide in while attacking the fort. They were improved to diamond shapes to prevent attacking infantry from finding cover. Specifically achieving this by creating direct attack points, whereas trying to fire round a curved wall is, well, impossible.
Albeit this is ultimately useless since the fort was abandoned, without a fight?

Other:

1. The biggest problem I encountered with the article was flow. The article is rather jarring, jumping from one thing to next quite rapidly. An example of this is the sudden jump from mutiny to invasion. Not in itself a problem as nothing of note may have happened during the period but the way it is written is jarred.

2. Related to the flow, consider paraphrasing the articles to help develop a clean flow. Much of the article lifts information from its sources wholesale, the different writing style of individual writers is a cause for the weak flow.

Summary: The article meets B1, B4 and B5 criteria. Still needs work on B2 and B3. Not too far from a C-Class, but definitely needs work before becoming B-Class. Mr rnddude (talk) 11:15, 12 November 2015 (UTC)Reply

Also: what are rangers? Hawkeye7 (talk) 19:13, 12 November 2015 (UTC)Reply
Thanks for feedback I will work on improving it. Rangers were Scottish Mounted infantry I thought I had put that in there, but it was in another article. Thanks you again. Reb1981 (talk) 20:24, 12 November 2015 (UTC)Reply

Without any information as to the fort's armament, I don't think that it meets B2. Could also use a copyedit. You might want to contact the WP:Guild of Copyeditors for assistance.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 22:01, 30 November 2015 (UTC)Reply

The article continues to need better paraphrasing of its sources (see editor's comment above, Other (2)). West32 (talk) 17:14, 2 December 2015 (UTC)Reply

I've just copy-edited the article. If more material is added, and you want me to review the article after that, just let me know. Corinne (talk) 01:53, 3 December 2015 (UTC)Reply