Talk:Donald Sutherland (explorer)

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Donald Sutherland (explorer)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 02:29, 1 January 2022 (UTC)

Hello! I'll be taking a look at this article for the January 2022 GAN backlog drive. If you haven't already signed up, please feel free to join in! Although QPQ is not retired, if you're feeling generous, I also have a list of GA nominations of my own right here.

Good Article review progress box Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Infobox and lede

• Per MOS:IMGSIZE, don't use a fixed pixel size for the infobox image
• Per MOS:SEAOFBLUE, "Wick, Caithness" should be one link to Wick instead of two separate links to town and county
• and was survived by his wife trivia for the lede

• All of the above done, slight revision to the lede so as to avoid a very short standalone sentence RE his death. Zawed (talk) 02:11, 3 January 2022 (UTC)

Early life

• Split first sentence into two after "1843 or 1844"
• "at Fort George at nearby Ardersier" → "at Fort George in nearby Ardersier"

• Both of the above points done. Zawed (talk) 02:12, 3 January 2022 (UTC)

New Zealand

• Per MOS:IDIOM, use "deserting the company" instead of "jumping ship"
• "prospecting for gold although to no avail"
• he had enough replace with more encyclopedic phrasing
• "Island and enlisted" → "Island, where he enlisted"
• "corps and at the end of hostilities in the region was" → "corps, and after hostilities ended in the region, Sutherland was"
• "prospecting but this time" → "prospecting, this time"

• Most of the above has been actioned, although I went for a variation on the 4th bullet point as that sentence was restructured in response to the previous bullet point. See what you think. Zawed (talk) 02:25, 3 January 2022 (UTC)

Armed Constabulary service

• Second sentence should be split into two to improve clarity

• Done. Zawed (talk) 02:25, 3 January 2022 (UTC)

Milford Sound

• "provisions provided by" → "provisions afforded by"
• No comma after "by the Lake County"
• Comma after "and the highest in the world"
• That only "sound" is linked appears a bit of a WP:EASTEREGG

• All of the above done. Zawed (talk) 02:25, 3 January 2022 (UTC)

Later life

• "When he died, only his wife was present at Milford Sound." → "Upon his death, his wife was the only individual present at Milford Sound."

• Done. Zawed (talk) 02:26, 3 January 2022 (UTC)

References

• Good

General comments

• Both images are in the public domain and relevant
• No stability concerns in the revision history
• Earwig score indicates no obvious copyvio

Putting on hold to allow nominator to address comments. Please let me know if you have any questions, and ping me when you're finished! — GhostRiver 18:36, 2 January 2022 (UTC)

• Thanks for taking the time to review this article GhostRiver, much appreciated. I have made a number of edits in response to your feedback, which are here. Please note my comment above regarding bullet point no. 4 in the New Zealand section. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 02:29, 3 January 2022 (UTC)

Thank you very much for the quick response, and for the diff link to your changes, which makes it very easy to see that you have addressed my comments! Everything looks satisfactory on my end, so happy to ✓ Pass this article! — GhostRiver 16:18, 3 January 2022 (UTC)