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GA ReviewEdit

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Reviewer: ProtoDrake (talk · contribs) 23:18, 5 July 2020 (UTC)

If I'm not back with comments in one week, please ping me. --ProtoDrake (talk) 23:18, 5 July 2020 (UTC)

  • I think Promotion should be merged into the Release section.
  • Several unnecessary double links in the text as it stands.
  • Basic thought; too many quotes, not enough paraphrasing. And too many brackets.
  • I've noticed places where PlatinumGames is referred to as "Platinum Games" (Release) or "Platinum" (Sales). I'd adjust so it's "PlatinumGames" in all cases for consistency.
  • Is this action-adventure hack and slash or action hack and slash? Conflicting messages here.
  • Note A; You should cite the developers.
  • "the game" used too frequently.
  • Saying the version released in a bundle with Vanguish is enough, you don't need to have the bundle's title.
  • I don't think you need Hideki Kamiya in the gameplay description.
  • You either need to break the last paragraph or trim it down as it's rather unwieldy as it stands.
  • While in terms of production it is related to Devil May Cry, I don't think you should use another game for comparison in this section as this might be entirely unknown. Using that link seems to imply insider knowledge, especially with it being the opening sentence.
  • "The player controls a witch named Bayonetta. By using melee and long ranged attacks, complex combo strings, and multiple weapons, the game encourages to explore ways to dispatch angelic enemies with as much flair as possible. Special commands or actions are woven into events, finishes, executions, and unique "Torture Attacks" in which Bayonetta summons a variety of devices to deal devastating blows to her enemies. Such devices range from chainsaws to iron maidens." - This whole section reads like a promotional press release, you should rewrite it to be more neutral.
  • "Bayonetta has unique but limited abilities that her enemies do not possess, such as "Witch Time", which activates when the player makes a well-timed dodge to an attack. This temporarily slows time to allow Bayonetta to inflict massive amounts of counter damage before the enemies can react." - Does she have other unique abilities? It seems to be leading and teasing, against like promo material, then reveals only Witch Time.
  • "The player can use enemy weapons, either to directly attack or as props for movement." - What kind of movement?
  • "By finding various component items, the player can combine them into new items. Many enemies and objects drop halos when destroyed, which the player can use to buy items, techniques and weapon upgrades.[10][7]" - Refs are the wrong way round.
  • "Bayonetta starts the game with four guns, two in her hands, two on her feet. By finding golden LP albums, some of which are in multiple pieces, players can earn new weapons, such as shotguns, a katana and a whip. These can be customized to Bayonetta's arms and legs in various combinations." - This is uncited.
  • The entire last paragraph is uncited.
  • The "Setting and characters" is both very large and in places uncited. Also, several of the references use a program not everyone would have and will soon no longer be supported in some browsers, rendering the information unverifiable.
  • "Still, in an April 2009 interview, Kamiya called the former "in many ways ... my ideal woman".[18]" - In a character article, this would fit, but in the section about a whole game it just looks like a Wikia inclusion.
  • "During development, five difficulty modes were created: "Very Easy", "Easy", "Normal", "Hard", and "Non-Stop Infinite Climax".[7]" - I'd have thought a version of this would've been in Gameplay.
  • The music information should really be collected into a single subsection or paragraph.
  • Was the book released worldwide, or only in a particular region?
  • Is Warp Zoned a valid and reliable source?
  • While mentioned in the note, the devs for the Wii U and PC ports aren't mentioned anywhere else in the text.
  • On a basic level, I think this entire section needs rewriting, as it's cumbersome and confusing to read through. There are also some unencyclopedic uses of punctuation and paraphrasing without general citations.
  • There are several places where contractions are used outside quotes. Please correct this.
  • Is there more information to be hand on the Wii U and Windows ports? At the moment, it's rather sparse.
  • The "awards" mentioned here seem rather insubstantial, and if kept they should be either put into a table with other awards there might be, or combined into a single paragraph.
  • On Minami's comment, when did he make this? Other Platinum titles since then have sold well over one million copies, but without a timing context it's confusing. In addition, that ref needs an author and date.
  • "The game, released in Japan in September 2014 and released in North America and Europe in December 2014" - This needs rewriting, as using the "released in" form twice in the same sentence is jarring.

@MiasmaEternal: I've completed the review. I know it's a lot, but there was a lot to mention. --ProtoDrake (talk) 20:42, 14 July 2020 (UTC)

ProtoDrake, MiasmaEternal has started to "fix" the Bayonetta article for GA status, but has not been editing frequently since he nominated this article. There must be something to get it more going. -iaspostb□x+ 15:22, 4 August 2020 (UTC)
@I'm Aya Syameimaru!: I was going to raise this review with WikiProject before long. Most of the issues I raised seem to have been left alone, or at least not fixed in an adequate way. If nothing happens, I may have to fail the article as I can't in good conscience pass the article in its current state. --ProtoDrake (talk) 17:31, 4 August 2020 (UTC)
Return to "Bayonetta/GA1" page.