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Talk:2019 World Pool Masters/GA1

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Latest comment: 4 years ago by Lee Vilenski in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

Latest comment: 4 years ago32 comments2 people in discussion
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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 11:39, 26 July 2019 (UTC)Reply


Comments let's see if we can make this a decent "gold standard" for pool tournaments... This isn't any old GA review, this is a TRM (tm) review...

  • Where's the citation for the roman numeral alt-name?
    •   Done
  • One para lead feels a little weak, but I'll come back to this and see if we can add a few highlights to bump it up a little...
  • "between 29–31 March" unnecessarily picky perhaps, but I would say "from 29–31 March" (as I would read the en-dash as a "to").
    •   Done
  • " World Pool Masters Tournament" Tournament doesn't appear to be part of its formal name.
    •   Done - it used to be. Not so much anymore. Changed.
  • "increased prize money to $100,000" total prize money? And probably should reiterate that it's US$ as the article is international and hosted in Gibraltar, who knows what version of $ it was?
    •   Done
  • "Dutchman Niels Feijen defeated Shane Van Boening of the United States in the previous year's final to win the title for the second time in his career, however, Fiejen was defeated in the opening round by Alcaide." reads a bit odd, could say "The reigning champion was Dutchman.... He was knocked out in the opening round by Alcaide..." or similar?
    •   Done
  • Tercentenary Sports Hall is only mentioned in the infobox and not referenced.
    •   Done
  • "Tournament Summary" (and all subsequent section headings) should be sentence case, i.e. "Tournament summary" (per MOS:HEAD).
    •   Done
  • "and organised" would read better either the other way round (i.e. organised first before where) or add "was" between "and" and "organised".
    •   Done
  • "eight players to see 24 compete " MOS:NUM cats & dogs, so either 8/24 or eight/twenty-four. Or rephrase and say "an increase from 16 to 24" or something to avoid the potential awkwardness. I don't think you need to state the increase and the new total and the previous total in any case.
    • reworded
  • "Matches for the event will be held as race to 7 " tense issue here, and I suspect that "race to 7" should be hyphenated and even "race to seven frames" or even less jargon-sounding, perhaps "Each match in the event was held as a race to seven racks"?
    •   Done - Jury is still out on hyphination, I believe. I've seen it more without, and I prefer it without.
  • races to 8 and 9 -> eight/nine per MOS.
    •   Done
  • "The Masters is the first Matchroom Sport event to be scored by cuescore; as part of a multievent deal" was? and not sure I understand "cuescore" is, especially without a link or an explanatory note. And definitely not sure about the use of the semi colon here.
    • removed semicolon. It's potentially not important, but it was a thing that got press. I've tried to explain what cuescore is, but it is exactly that, a scoring website Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:19, 26 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • "received a bye past " maybe ENGVAR, but I would say that people receive a bye "for" a particular round.
    •   Done
  • "3 and 7 PM" per MOS would use non-breaking space and p.m.#

Gotta split. More shortly. The Rambling Man (REJOICE!) 12:00, 26 July 2019 (UTC)Reply

Me too. Back later,
  • You link bye the second time round.
  • " the later commenting" latter.
  • Merge that and the following sentence to avoid repeating Strickland and commented in quick succession.
  • "7-4" et seq scorelines should use en-dash.
  • Ruiz could use some diacritics.
  • "Jeff de Luna" small d.
  • "Elsewhere" perhaps more encyclopedic to say "In the remaining preliminary round matches, ..."?
  • No need to relink CET.
  • "was defeated 3-7 to 2017" either defeated by or lost to, but not defeated to...
  • "ladies number 1 Han Yu" probably needs apostrophe on the s of ladies, and I'm almost certain that's not the Han Yu you're looking for...
  • "Yu would take a " would take->took.
  • "won 4 racks" four.
  • "7-6.[16][15] " et seq, refs in numerical order.
  • "The second session saw", "The match saw..." repetitive.

Another pause, more later. The Rambling Man (REJOICE!) 12:52, 26 July 2019 (UTC)Reply

  • "first 6 racks" six (et seq).
  • "before world championship winner" I would spell out which world championship he won rather than pipe it.
  • "Otherwise," nah, "in the remaining first round matches.."
  • "allowing Kaci to" preserve and be consistent with diacritics.
  • "initial two frames were shared at 1-1" you're basically saying the same thing three times here.
  • "been previous winners of the MVP at the Mosconi Cup event." no need for "event", and link MVP, it's certainly not a common term in BritEng.
  • "were also played on 31 March 2019 at 7 PM CET" the quarterfinals weren't played at 7pm.
  • "The semifinals were both played as races to 8 rack matches" would consider merging this into the previous sentence, i.e. "The semifinals, played as races-to-eight rack matches, were..."
  • "David Alcaide faced Eklant Kaci in the first semifinal. Alcaide reached the final of the event, thanks to a 8-3 win. " Again, merge, "first semifinal, winning 8–3." although a little more detail might be good here as you have more detail on several of the earlier rounds' matches.
  • "winning all five of the opening racks to lead 5-0" again, I know I'm being mean but you are saying the same thing three times here.
  • Consider linking "broke" to the glossary of terms.
  • "Failing a swerve shot, Kazakis took charge " this sounds like Kazakis failed the swerve.
  • "[4][27][28][20]" numerical order, and I loathe floating references so perhaps have something like "Sources:[4][27][28][20]" or whatever you prefer.
  • I think you need to apply the usual "flag" fix so we know what these flags mean.
  • I think the Matt Edwards you link in the prose isn't the Matt you're looking for...
  • You link Sajich in the results table but not the prose.
  • Naoyuki Oi is also linked in the results but not the prose, moreover he's missing a diacritic.
  • The draw could use a key, as I'm assuming the number next to the player indicates their seeding? Also you could use explanation that bold indicates winner of each match.
  • Any further breakdown of the prize money? Only a quarter going to the eventual winner doesn't seem like much...
  • Avoid SHOUTING in the refs (e.g. ref 8).
  • Ref 20 you say "CueScore" is the "work" but it appears that "cuescore" were the "publisher"? I would also check the other refs as typically things like "Sky Sports" would be considered publishers.
  • A couple of spaced hyphens, refs 21 and 24, should be spaced en-dashes.

That's all I can see for a first run. Let me know when you'd like me to re-assess, in the meantime I'll put it on hold. The Rambling Man (REJOICE!) 15:02, 26 July 2019 (UTC)Reply

Looks like there's just a couple things I need to look at - I'll create a prize fund section (I have all of the payouts sourced), and add some info on the two preliminary matches that I missed. I've covered everything else here. I'll give you a ping when I'm done. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 12:34, 27 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
Think I've covered it all now The Rambling Man Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 16:13, 27 July 2019 (UTC)Reply

Second pass:

  • " was dutchman Niels Feijen " capital D.
  • Interestingly you mentioned last year's nationalities in the lead, but not this year's
    • Added this year's
  • "The tournament prize fund was higher than that of previous years," not referenced.
    • Does this not come under WP:CALC? The money was higher, but I doubt anyone would comment on this. Or, did you just want a citation for last year's prize money? Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:10, 28 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
      • Well, considering I don't know what last year's prize money was, nor is it mentioned as far as I can see, it needs referencing here. The Rambling Man (REJOICE!) 19:22, 28 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
        • I've added the total amount for the previous year, as well as a citation for such a thing. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:34, 28 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • "Matches for the event will be held " still incorrect tense
  • "The Masters is the first Matchroom Sport event to be scored by cuescore; as part of a multievent deal" definitely no need for the semi-colon.
  • " match.[6][29][30][22]" numerical order please.
  • You repeat some player's nationalities in the Last 16, no need.
    • Is this for the draw? Just did that for consistency. Realistically, I don't need to use flagathlete at all after the first use of a flag, but it looks bizarre if it's done only on certain people. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:10, 28 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • Both Feijan and Alcaide are noted to have won twice in their careers, but I don't see either of those claims cited inline.
    • I'll have a look for some cites. Bear with me. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:10, 28 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
      • Not sure I understand this one. I've cited that Feijen won the event twice in the past (which was in the lede), but I'm not sure anywhere I say that Alcaide is a two time champion. I do mention that he won the 2017 event, but I'm pretty sure it says that in the cited source. I'll take another look, but I hope this solves the issues. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:19, 28 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
        • Check image caption: "David Alcaide won his second World Pool Masters championship 9–8." The Rambling Man (REJOICE!) 19:21, 28 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
  • You still have CueScore thus formatted in the references, but you call it "cuescore" in the prose. Be consistent.

I made a few edits myself... You missed a few of my comments, which is usually why it's a good idea to respond to each one as you complete them... The Rambling Man (REJOICE!) 18:40, 28 July 2019 (UTC)Reply

Okay, it looks just about done now, so I'll pass this right now. Good working with you. The Rambling Man (REJOICE!) 19:37, 28 July 2019 (UTC)Reply

Always thorough, and always a learning experience. Thanks for taking a look at this one - pool events are quite niche, even for snooker guys.
Always appreciate your help! Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:39, 28 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
I'm happy to take a look at 2017 UK Championship by the way, but suggest you take what you've learnt here to that article before I look at it, there may be quite a few things you can address before I have to point them out again? The Rambling Man (REJOICE!) 19:42, 28 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
      • Thank you! I'll do a massive copyedit for this stuff now. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 19:45, 28 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
        • Give me a shout when you think you're done. Cheers. The Rambling Man (REJOICE!) 19:57, 28 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
          • I think I have it all. I've checked for flagathlete - took a while, MOS:NUM, ref order, and general cleanup. If you want to take a look, I'd appreciate your help, but take your time. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 21:42, 28 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
            • Quick ping - The Rambling Man to make sure you got the message. No rush on it though. I'll make another pass today, but it should be ready for a review. I'm sure I've probably missed loads, but that's pretty normal. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 08:57, 30 July 2019 (UTC)Reply
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