Quintuplets is an American sitcom that aired twenty-two episodes on Fox from June 16, 2004 to January 12, 2005. The program starred Andy Richter and Rebecca Creskoff as parents of a family of quintuplets and their various adventures in parenthood.
|Created by||Mark Reisman|
|Opening theme||"Suk or Shine" by Chris and Tad|
|Country of origin||United States|
|No. of seasons||1|
|No. of episodes||22 (list of episodes)|
|Running time||22 minutes|
Mark Reisman Productions
20th Century Fox Television
|Original release||June 16, 2004– January 12, 2005|
The series is set in Nutley, New Jersey, and is on its face a typical family sitcom. Much of the story line focuses on the difficulty of supporting a large family of teens, both financially and emotionally, as they grapple with the reality that, grown up, they simply aren't as cute and interesting as they were when they were born.
The house is a typical three-bedroom family home. The male quints share a room with bunk beds, the female quints share another room. The kitchen contains a double wide beer cooler as a refrigerator, and the basement contains a walk-in freezer, both to store the large amounts of food such a large family requires. The situation may be seen to parallel and parody the old sitcom The Brady Bunch, by highlighting the impracticality of the large family.
The theme song, "Suk or Shine," was performed by Chris and Tad.
- Bob Chase (Andy Richter) – The father, works for an ad agency, and barely makes enough money to support the large family. Most of his time is spent trying to save money, and only occasionally provide parenting for his five teen children, but he'd prefer to get away whenever he has the chance. He also lets it be known that he thinks half of his children are freaks. He blames the fact that the children were artificially inseminated, and explains that this is why there were so many of them at once and why some of them are not exactly normal.
- Carol Chase (Rebecca Creskoff) – The mother. Maintaining the large family and house requires her to be a typical sitcom housewife. In one episode she attempts to go back to work, but no one wants her because she's been raising kids for fifteen years. She goes back to being a housewife and remains in that position for the rest of the show. She often provides parenting for the children, albeit poor parenting, and enforces the rules in the house.
- Parker Chase (Jake McDorman) – The popular boy. Tallest of the children, good-looking, successful in academics, sports, and attractive. He teases his brothers mercilessly, especially Pearce, but is also quick to defend them. The male quints share a deep bond, probably from sharing the womb. At one point, Patton, the youngest and shortest quint, says that Parker took all the good genes and left him with the short ones and Pearce with the weird ones.
- Pearce Chase (Johnny K. Lewis) – The weirdest member of the family with curly hair. He has a strange perspective on just about any subject, and is never afraid to share his bizarre thoughts with everyone. He is so odd that he no longer responds to rejection.
- Penny Chase (April Matson) – Is intellectual, and vigorously nonconformist. She dresses and styles her hair in an alternative style, frequently mistaken for the typical goth style and enjoys reading. She feels inadequate compared to Paige because of her attractiveness and popularity.
- Paige Chase (Sarah Wright) – The attractive girl, she spends most of her time thinking about and attending to her appearance. She's kind, bubbly, and emotional, but not the brightest person in the family.
- Patton Chase (Ryan Pinkston) – The youngest and shortest of the children at 4'10". This is a source of amusement to the family and shame to the father, and often causes Patton's mother to be overly nurturing. He takes growth hormones. He is girl crazy and his typical line to girls (and in one episode a guy when he was pretending to be gay to avoid being pulverized) is, "Yes I am, you likey?." It usually works but his sisters often find it disgusting.
|No.||Title||Directed by||Written by||Original air date||Prod.|
|1||"Pilot"||Andy Cadiff||Mark Reisman||June 16, 2004||1AJY79|
|Bob and Carol Chase rather miss the time when their quintuplets were small, cute and made them happy and popular. Fast forward fifteen years, and their kids are loud, obnoxious, and always fighting with each other. Anxious to get away from the kids for a night, Bob buys tickets for him and Carol to a Springsteen concert, where he encounters some "special brownies". Parker and Paige are set to go to a party when Carol unintentionally cancels the party by informing the host's parents. Concerned for their social lives, the quintuplets decide to host a party at the Chase house, where Patton hopes to score with an attractive girl.|
|2||"Quintagious"||Andy Cadiff||Carter Bays & Craig Thomas||June 23, 2004||1AJY01|
|The Chase family enters a state of emergency when Penny gets the flu. Penny is quarantined in the basement to avoid a repeat of the family's last flu outbreak, which began when Bob dared Patton to lick a dead squirrel. Penny looks at it optimistically, finally having 'her own room' away from Paige. Paige eventually falls ill and is sent down to the basement, where Penny scams her out of her blankets, pillow, and slippers in exchange for listening to her gossip. When Carol goes down to visit the girls, Bob locks her down there for breaking the rules: anyone who goes down there is infected. Meanwhile, Parker falls ill, infuriating Patton as this will ruin a chance for a double date. However, Patton secures the date with the girl, but Pierce throws his lucky shirt down the laundry chute. Patton jumps down after it and is locked in the basement by Bob. Carol is looking after her children, however she soon catches the illness and becomes spiteful. Also, Paige manages to gain back all her possessions as a mortified Penny has become addicted to gossip. Pearce is the only kid not sick and constantly annoys Bob while trying to work on an important sales pitch for work. Pearce purposly becomes ill, and goes into the basement. Realizing his chance, Bob seizes the day and has a great time by himself. Later, Carol climbs up the laundry chute, having been driven crazy by the kids.|
|3||"Little Man on Campus"||Andy Cadiff||Dan Signer||June 30, 2004||1AJY03|
|The Nutley high school team, the Cougars, holds tryouts for their school teams. Parker makes the basketball team and Pearce becomes the team mascot, but Paige fails to make the cheerleading team. To Bob's horror and former cheerleader Carol's enthusiasm, Patton does make the team, in a plot to meet girls. Bob changes his mind when Carol tells him that there are cheerleading scholarships, excited that he may not have to pay for Patton's college. Patton quickly learns that working with fellow cheerleader Haley gives him erections. Bob's advice is to "go down to Horny Town and fire the mayor", which fails and Patton, the top of the pyramid, is humiliated at a basketball game. However, the incident does lead Patton to land a date.|
|4||"Lord of the Cell"||Andy Cadiff||Michael Shipley & Jim Bernstein||July 7, 2004||1AJY02|
|When Bob wins a cell phone at work, the kids fight over who gets the phone. Carol reminds them that if there isn't enough for everyone, no one gets anything. Parker protests that the rule only causes the kids to miss out on everything, so Bob initiates a contest: the kids have been slacking on chores, so whoever does the most chores in one week wins the cell phone. All the kids except Parker begin working to win the phone; Paige and Patton want the phone to benefit their social lives, Pearce wants to send the phone to Yabba, his Mongolian pen pal, and Penny wants the phone just to take it away from Paige. When Bob takes the contest too far and the kids become his personal servants, Parker leads the kids to a strike against Bob and Carol. Bob eventually lets Parker decide who should get the phone. When Parker tells his siblings that he believes he most deserves the phone, the other kids claim this to be unfair and begin fighting. Pearce breaks up the fight and shows his brothers and sisters how selfish they are being. Parker then gives the phone to Pearce so he can send it to Yabba. Pearce writes to Yabba to tell him the bad news: as he pockets the cell phone for himself, he informs Yabba that the phone was washed away in a terrible storm.|
|5||"(Disdainfully) The Helbergs"||Andy Cadiff||Jennifer Fisher||July 14, 2004||1AJY04|
|The Chases' car (the "Qu-Mobie" as affectionaltely named by Pearce) breaks down. The family has had the car for fifteen years, when the family got the car for free for making a commercial with quintuplet babies. Bob contacts the car company and picthes the idea of making a new commercial, to receive a new minivan. Pearce has trouble letting go of the car due to his nostalgic memories, such as first seeing snow, first hearing his mom laugh, and telling his first knock-knock joke in the car. However they arrive to shoot the commercial only to discover they must audition against the family's rivals: the perfect, blond Helberg quintuplets, mercilessly managed by greedy, arrogant father Francis who never loses. Parker refuses to do a car commercial because of his new Greenpeace-minded girlfriend, so Paige's boyfriend Tyler pretends to be Parker. The Helbergs get the job because of the Chases' constant fighting, but when bossy Francis 'fires' his son Chad for becoming Penny's boyfriend, the company decides they can't do a quintuplet commercial with four kids and the Chases are chosen. After Paige is seen kissing Tyler, who is supposed to be her brother, Francis demands the truth, and wants Paige and Parker, who is pretending to be Tyler, to kiss. The family is stunned, and Bob and Carol tell Paige to "kiss her boyfriend". As the family drives home in their brand new minivan, Parker and Paige still look shocked.|
|6||"Get a Job"||Steve Zuckerman||Michael Borkow||July 21, 2004||1AJY05|
|Bob and Carol wake the kids up on their half birthday announcing they are finally old enough to get jobs. Paige and Patton become rival employees at a shoe store, while Penny finds it hard to hold down a job when she calls all her bosses "idiots". Pearce finds work at a pet store and ends up buying all the animals away from customers, and Parker gets his first zit after working the deep fryer at a fast food place. Carol looks forward to spending the money they will save from the kids' allowances on a cruise, so Bob is forced to hide the motorcycle and side car he already bought with the money. Simon Helberg had a minor role as Neil, another shoe store employee.|
|7||"Swing, Swing, Swing"||Steve Zuckerman||Stephen Lloyd||July 28, 2004||1AJY06|
|The school homecoming dance approaches. Carol, who is still upset at Bob for going to Atlantic City and getting drunk on the night of their homecoming dance, decides to host a pre-party for the kids. Parker is forced to cancel a date with his love interest Carrie Friedman when school bully Gino Grazano forces him to take his sister Gina to the dance. Parker tries to find any way to make himself undesirable, but the plan backfires. Patton, is rejected by every girl in the school in alphabetical order, so he pretends to be dying to get adult film star 'Catherine Zeta-Juggs' to be his date to the dance. Penny's planned protest appearance as a zombie couple with her "ironic gay date" Matt backfires when Pearce and Matt discover the other's admiration of swing dancing and decide to go together. Bob, concerned even for Pearce's reputation, manages to make Pearce and Matt jealous of one another to break them up.|
|8||"Shakespeare in Lust"||Andy Cadiff||Stephen Engel||August 4, 2004||1AJY08|
|Penny gets the chance of a lifetime to direct her own minimalist Romeo and Juliet school production, which can earn her a scholarship. Drama teacher Ms. Hentschel not only forces her to dump Matt as the lead Romeo for Patton, who gets to kiss Parker's girlfriend Carrie (who never kisses Parker on the lips), Bob and Carol make Penny put Paige in charge of props, which Penny plans to dispense with altogether. Ms. Hentschel frowns on Penny's minimalistic approach, so prompter Pearce convinces her to turn the play into a superhero themed adaptation. Frustrated that Patton is kissing his girlfriend, Parker sets out to sabotage the play. Meanwhile, Bob manages to get his neighbor Brad and his two girlfriends to invite him and Carol over for a dinner and jacuzzi, mistakenly believing they will be hot-tubbing naked with their neighbors.|
|9||"The Sixth Quint"||Andy Cadiff||Michael Shipley & Jim Bernstein||September 8, 2004||1AJY07|
|The beautiful Alayna Collins has just gotten back from a five-year-long trip to Africa, a fantastic surprise for the quints. Paige throws a slumber party to introduce Alayna to the jungle that is high school, while Bob and Carol spend a "wild night" at the Nutley Motor Inn. On the boys' side of the house, Patton spies on the slumber party. Parker asks for Pearce's help in becoming more than friends with Alayna, even though Alayna has always liked Pearce. Pearce talks to Alayna for Parker, where Alayna mistakes Parker's feelings for Pearce's.|
|10||"Loves, Lies and Lullabies"||Andy Cadiff||Michael Shipley & Jim Bernstein||September 15, 2004||1AJY09|
|Penny decides to conduct a live science project: manipulating the dumbest kid in class, Paige, who normally depends on nerds to do all the work for her, to construct a hemoglobin molecule model. A nerdy student Eric tells Penny that a "social science" project will get her a failing grade, so Penny convinces him to put her name on his project in exchange for her bra. Parker is disappointed when Jessica Geiger shows no interest whatsoever in him but takes instantly to Patton. Patton later discovers Jessica's fetish. Parker and Pearce's rivalry for Alayna continues when the three team up for their science project, the human battery, using Parker's body to take electric shocks to test it. Concerned she isn't charitable enough, Carol volunteers in a seniors home, discovering the lullaby she is singing them is causing them to die.|
|11||"Quint Con"||Andy Cadiff||Dan Signer||September 22, 2004||1AJY10|
|Even though nobody but Carol likes them anymore, Carol insists the family participates in a multiples convention. Bob is forced to talk to a future quints father and convince them that it isn't so bad raising quintuplets. Bob however lets him in on the truth, prompting the upcoming father to walk out on his wife. Patton meets sexy twins who won't date separately, so he makes up an imaginary twin brother Peter to double date. Pearce has constructed a womb experience, which Parker gets in on to make money. Penny and Paige date twins they met years earlier as unattractive pre-teens, but the twins both prefer Penny, the better kisser.|
|12||"Battle of the Bands"||Andy Cadiff||Boyce Bugliari & Jamie McLaughlin||September 29, 2004||1AJY11|
|The school's Battle of the Bands approaches, and Paige asks Patton to help the other girls in her dance routine but, as it turns out, Paige is the one who needs help. Bob, feeling left out after missing his Battle of the Bands, worms his way into Parker's band, causing Parker to walk out. Meanwhile, Pearce uses an unusual instrument for his one-man band.|
|13||"Working It"||Andy Cadiff||Jennifer Fisher||October 6, 2004||1AJY12|
|Bob hadn't made a sale in two months, so he's hell-bent to land Mr. Reynolds' office contract, but his constant agreeing and "me too" approach requires Patton to play a ten-year-old boyscout (for a percentage of the profit). Bob and Carol 'warm up' to the client's wife's ludicrous fashion creations and Bob fakes a passion for lobster even though he's deathly allergic. Paige refuses to pay back any of the money she borrowed from Penny, so Penny takes a waitress job there too, just to make sure the terrible service will kill Paige's tips until she pays up. Both still hot for Alayna, Parker comes up with a perfect plan for Pearce and him to each get alone time with her|
|14||"Boobs on the Run"||Andy Cadiff||Boyce Bugliari & Jamie McLaughlin||November 3, 2004||1AJY14|
|When the boys decide that they're going to a frat party, they infiltre the life of Luskin by joining him on an ice run. Luskin quickly takes the trip to new heights, much to Parker's dismay. Meanwhile, Carol has had enough with the girls' lies and decides she wants to hear every lie they've ever told her, while Bob escapes from his own family.|
|15||"Teacher's Pet"||Leonard R. Garner Jr.||Gloria Calderon Kellett||November 10, 2004||1AJY13|
|Carol can't handle tutoring Pearce anymore, so Bob decides to tutor him. Bob gets suckered into writing his English paper for him, to prove to Carol he can get a higher grade than a C. Ever ambitious Patton pretends to need tutoring to get close to his hot new English teacher. Paige manages to convert Penny's favorite, most challenging teacher into a fellow fashion slave.|
|16||"Thanksgiving Day Charade"||Andy Cadiff||Boyce Bugliari & Jamie McLaughlin||November 24, 2004||1AJY16|
|Carol wants to make a good impression on her college friend Lisa, now a London publisher, who is visiting on Thanksgiving, so she hires Penny to play the devoted daughter. Bob's brother Steve, a sports agent, also stops by and pretends to go help out in a shelter. Steve in fact takes Bob to a nightclub as a wingman to entertain Lisa Appleby, the friend of Olympic swimmer Amanda Beard who he hopes to sign. Bob ends up losing his wedding ring. Pearce interrogates Penny to make sure the turkey she bought died in a humane way. Meanwhile, French exchange student Gabrielle seems to fall for Patton, only she has precise preferences: her man should sweat like a horse, shave his legs and wear mime lipstick.|
|17||"Date Night"||Andy Cadiff||Michael Shipley & Jim Bernstein||December 1, 2004||1AJY17|
|Carol is disappointed that neither Parker nor Penny wants to go out with the parents for 'special quint night' anymore, so she tricks Bob into going to the diner where Parker and his date Eliza are dining, even reserving the table next to them. To both Bob and Parker's horror, her interference only makes Eliza insist they pull the tables together and enjoy embarrassing memories. Paige dates Hugo, the unattractive son of a banker, whose money literally blinds her. Penny dares her to go out with him at her own expense, so Paige will truly see Hugo. Patton goes to help Chelsea with her computer, but her dog Twinkle proves to be an overprotective bodyguard, so he gets Pearce to come along and entertain the dog. When Bob explains to Carol that she's only driving Parker away, she transfers her 'quality time' to Bob.|
|18||"Bob and Carol Save Christmas"||Andy Cadiff||Bill Kunstler||December 15, 2004||1AJY18|
|Bob and Carol find the quints are really sick of 'Quintsmass', the holiday celebrated on December 27 after Bob and Carol buy their Christmas presents at the after-Christmas sales. The parents decide to risk all their Christmas budget on a few games blackjack in Atlantic City. Meanwhile, Parker looks forward to playing Joseph in a nativity scene with a hot girl, but Patton worms his way in, for lack of an open part as live baby Jesus, and lives Parker's odd nightmare. Paige is so eager to sing carols with the "Tinsel Tones" that she promises Penny her MP3 player to stand in for a sick alto. Penny, who hates caroling, accepts but deliberately misses every tone until the director throws her out. Pearce begs hard enough to get another go as elf, although way older than his colleagues, with the same Santa he already bit as a toddler, who rightly fears more pain to come, which however proves someone else's opportunity.|
|19||"Where Are They Now?"||Andy Cadiff||Bill Kunstler||December 22, 2004||1AJY15|
|Bob is delighted one of the TV show who hovered around the quints as babies plans to make a 'Where Are They Now' special on their family, but when Patton makes him aware producer Mark Lawrence also makes reality TV, the two hope to convince him to produce a reality show about the Chases. They fear all-American athlete Parker is too tame, so dad sets him up to make him appear as a marijuana addict. Carol is embarrassed that she failed to go back to work as she told the interviewer she would in the original special, so Bob pays Carol's former boss to 'hire' her back in publishing. Pearce melts when told Alayna has broken up with her boyfriend. Patton sees an opportunity to cast a sexy, camera-horny girlfriend, but picks one too stupid even to remember his name properly.|
|20||"Shall We Fight"||Andy Cadiff||Stephen Engel||December 29, 2004||1AJY20|
|Patton's girlfriend Julie and Penny's boyfriend Brady enjoy double-dating, but Patton and Penny don't, eventually driving their dates away. Pearce enlists Parker's help to stop clinging to Alayna, even with handcuffs and projectiles. Carol forces Bob to take dance lessons with her, and Matt far too generously offers to teach them for free and after hours. Bob ends up injuring Carol's ankle, but she makes him continue the course alone. When Matt chickens out of the hopeless task, he arranges for a female colleague, Sophia, to take his place, leaving Carol jealous.|
|21||"Chutes and Letters"||Andy Cadiff||Dan Signer||January 5, 2005||1AJY19|
|When Parker and Patton realize Pearce still is a virgin who has never even made 'second base', they give him brotherly advice. Patton teams up with a new girl to sell his 'secret odorless aphrodisiac' (water). Carol enjoys getting out the monthly task of taking the girls to visit her 98-year great aunt Sylvia, a nasty lonely old woman, but envies Bob when Sylvia dies during Bob, Penny, and Paige's visit with her.|
|22||"The Coconut Kapow"||Andy Cadiff||Boyce Bugliari & Jamie McLaughlin||January 12, 2005||1AJY21|
|Carol forbids Patton to date for a month 'to teach him respect for girls'. Carol also forces Paige get rid of all her clothes that don't fit. When she tells Pearce she can't bring herself to sell the unlucky half at the second hand shop, her brother volunteers to do the job the next morning. When he accidentally takes the wrong pile to the store, Paige concludes he hasn't taken them yet and donates the unwanted half to the store as well. Pressed by Carol to teach Patton something to give him another source of pride then seducing girls, Bob shows him his old wrestling moves, in turn abusing Parker. Patton faces humiliation though when he learns his next fight is with a girl. Penny dares Parker into taking the car out for a joyride, where they are caught by a red light camera.|
- Arrested Development – in which Richter himself played a set of identical quintuplets.