Wikipedia:April Fools' Main Page/In The News/1 April 2009

Please note: This is not the official final design but all of the articles included here have been updated. Please upload and protect the Cowen image from Commons before posting on the Main Page. Thanks.

• The unexpected public hanging of Ireland's Taoiseach, Brian Cowen (pictured), occurs in Dublin, following months of economic uncertainty.
• NASA reports a shower of diamonds over the Republic of Sudan.
• German scientists unearth a row of suckers belonging to the ancient Octopoda order.
• A revolutionary new online tanning service receives one million hits within two months of being established.
• Henry Allingham of the United Kingdom credits cigarettes, whisky and wild, wild women for his seemingly impossible immortality.
• The merging of Hartford and New Orleans is found to have severe environmental consequences.
• The Dutch announce their intention to return a human head borrowed from Ghana.
• The Vice-President of the Comoros declares war after an island in the Indian Ocean decides to become a part of France.
• A newspaper discovers that pay-per-view porn is amongst a number of unusual things being purchased by British MPs on their claimed expenses.
• American scientists undergo enlightenment in order to study processes in the center of the Sun.
• A manufacturer is requested to increase production by over 300,000 in one week following the launch of two Turkish missiles at a former oil giant.