Talk:Luke Moore (footballer, born 1988)/GA1

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 07:23, 26 September 2013 (UTC)Reply

Comments sorry for the delay:

  • "Moore comprised part of the" why not just "was part"?  Y
  • "scoring a crucial penalty" one could argue that all penalties in a shoot out are crucial.  Y
  • "Luke Moore is also noted.." no need to repeat his first name.  Y
  • Is Moore really noted "for being a member of the starting XI that played in AFC Wimbledon's inaugural Football League match"?  Y
  • "Luke Moore began his career" no need to repeat his first name.  Y
  • Nothing at all on his personal life? School? Family?  Y
  • "The club's name was subsequently changed to Ebbsfleet United in May 2007[2] after the club agreed a sponsorship deal with Eurostar, whose trains use the nearby Ebbsfleet International station.[3]" not sure of the importance of this to Moore's article. If you deem it absolutely necessary, make it a footnote. Y
  • "20 January 2007[9]" full stop missing. Y
  • "on to find the net twice more" not encyclopedic. Y
  • His first season you talk in some detail about just about every goal he scored, then the second season it's just a brief overview. Be consistent with the level of detail, you've got recentism in reverse! Y
  • "Moore went on to join newly promoted..." why "went on to join" when "joined" would be more succinct? Y
  • " 2010-11" en-dash needed. Y
  • "a brace" not sure this is obvious to non-experts, I think sadly the brace article just directs this back to "two". Y
  • "was able to score one" what's wrong with "scored one"? Y
  • Career statistics table is out of step with info box. Y
  • Ref 1 needs an en-dash. And it's dead. Y
  • Where is his DoB referenced? Y

I'll put it on hold for a week. The Rambling Man (talk) 16:36, 7 October 2013 (UTC)Reply

As to education and early career development, maybe these might prove helpful. cheers, Struway2 (talk) 17:26, 8 October 2013 (UTC)Reply
Very good of you Struway2, let's see what can be incorporated. The Rambling Man (talk) 18:09, 8 October 2013 (UTC)Reply
Thank you very much Struway2, your links were most helpful and have been incorporated into the article. I believe that all issues raised by the reviewerThe Rambling Man have now been addressed. with kind regards, Jodie25 19:02, 11 October 2013 (UTC)Reply