Talk:Hurricane Nadine/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk · contribs) 01:15, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

• You use a lot of lead-ins for the lead (ex. "By the following day...", "Early on September 15...") Try to limit that.

• Alright, I eliminated several.--12george1 (talk) 21:23, 2 March 2013 (UTC)

• A new paragraph is in many ways like a new idea. For that reason do not start off with "However" or any similar word.

• Fixed--12george1 (talk) 03:33, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

• "...and tracked aimlessly across the eastern Atlantic." - I wouldn't necessarily say that given its proximity to the Azores and, if I'm not mistaken, minor impacts there.

• Fixed--12george1 (talk) 03:38, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

• "However, increasingly unfavorable conditions weakened Nadine back to a 65 mph (100 km/h) tropical storm on October 1, as conditions became increasingly unfavorable." - No need to describe the unfavorable conditions twice. :-)

• Fixed--12george1 (talk) 03:33, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

• "By the early on October 3, strong wind shear and decreasing sea surface temperatures (SST's) significantly weakened the storm." - Remove "the" in the lead-in.

• Fixed--12george1 (talk) 03:33, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

• "Later that day, Nadine transitioned into an extratropical and merged with an approaching cold front northeast of the Azores." - An extratropical what?

• Extratropical cyclone--12george1 (talk) 03:33, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

• "Thereafter, central dense overcast developed and due to favorable conditions, the National Hurricane Center noted the possibility of rapid deepening" - Refer back to what I said about a new paragraph/idea and what not to use to start off.

• Fixed--12george1 (talk) 03:33, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

• "Later on September 12, intensification continued a quicker, but not rapid rate; by the end of the day, sustained winds reached 65 mph (105 km/h)" - Should be an "at" after "continued".

• Fixed--12george1 (talk) 03:33, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

• "Although further strengthening was anticipated, an increase in wind shear by September 16 was noted" - This sentence would probably be better suited farther down in the paragraph. Or it may not be needed at all as we head into the next bullet...

• Eh, I don't think that sentence is needed at all.--12george1 (talk) 03:33, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

• "Later on September 13, the National Hurricane Center noted that "The window for Nadine to strengthen may be closing", citing computer model consensus of an increase in wind shear and little change in structure." - Even if the text was originally capitalized, none of the quote shouldn't be.

• ALRIGHT, IF YOU CAN PROMISE NOT TO SHOUT.--12george1 (talk) 03:33, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

• "Either late on September 13 or early on September 14, Nadine began moving west-northwest and eventually north-northeast around the southwestern periphery of the subtropical ridge" - Why do you have to choose? It had to have begun on one of those two days, but not both.

• It was actually during those two days.--12george1 (talk) 03:33, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

• " The satellite appearance of Nadine became more ragged early on September 14, with a decrease shower and thunderstorm activity, as well as convective banding diminishing in the eastern semicircle" - No need for the second part of that sentence.

• Fixed--12george1 (talk) 03:33, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

• "Nadine turned northward on September 14, as it tracked along the periphery of a subtropical ridge" - I see no need for a comma there.

• Fixed--12george1 (talk) 03:33, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

• "However, hours later, Nadine began "to look a little more ragged", as microwave data observations noted shearing of deep convection to the northeast of the center." - No comma after the quote.

• Fixed--12george1 (talk) 03:33, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

• "Although winds increased to 60 mph (95 km/h), the storm weakened again and decreased to 45 mph (75 km/h) tropical storm by early on September 25." - State a duration for the wind increase. Either add "a" after "decreased to" or take away "tropical storm".

• Fixed--12george1 (talk) 03:33, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

• "Nadine remained a hurricane the entire time and was intensifying further." - Confusing sentence.

• Fixed--12george1 (talk) 03:33, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

• "Winds were increased to 85 mph (140 km/h) early on September 30, as the eye became more distinct" - No comma.

• Fixed--12george1 (talk) 03:33, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

• "After peak intensity, Nadine began weakening once again and was deteriorated to a tropical storm at 1200 UTC on October 1." - "Was deteriorated" is weird wording.

• Fixed--12george1 (talk) 03:33, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

• "Northwesterly winds began to increase early on October 3, after an upper-level trough that was causing low wind shear moved eastward" - No comma.

• Fixed--12george1 (talk) 03:33, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

• "before becoming fully separated from the convection at 1500 UTC." - So, right at 1500 UTC, the low became fully separated?

• Would "by" work better?--12george1 (talk) 03:33, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

• "while located about 195 miles (314 km) southwest of the central Azores." - Round to the nearest five.

• Fixed--12george1 (talk) 03:33, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

• " Operationally, the National Hurricane Center considered Nadine a tropical cyclone until 1500 UTC on October 4, three hours after ASCAT data indicated that a closed circulation no longer existed." - Why this sentence?

• I don't know. So I could include the last advisory in the article? JK.--12george1 (talk) 03:33, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

• "Tropical cyclone warnings and watches were issued as Nadine approached the Azores twice." --> "Tropical cyclone warnings and watches were issued on two separate occasions as Nadine approached the Azores."

• Fixed--12george1 (talk) 03:33, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

• "At 1000 UTC September 18" - "on" between the day and time.

• Fixed--12george1 (talk) 03:33, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

• "After re-generating, Nadine posed a threat tot the Azores again, and thus, a tropical storm watch was issued for the entire archipelago at 1500 UTC on September 1." - "tot"?

• Fixed--12george1 (talk) 03:33, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

• "After Nadine became extratropical, the warning was discontinued, at 1500 UTC on September 4." - No need for the last part of that sentence.

• Fixed--12george1 (talk) 03:33, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

• "When only counting time spent as a tropical storm or hurricane – 20.75 days – Nadine is the third longest-lasting, Hurricane Ginger in 1971 and the 1899 San Ciriaco hurricane." - Missing a few words there?

• Fixed--12george1 (talk) 03:33, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

• "When Nadine was upgraded to a hurricane at 1800 UTC on September 14, it marked the third-earliest forming eighth hurricane, behind only 1893 and 2005" - You're talking about specific storms in the season, not the season themselves, so include the storms' names.

• Fixed--12george1 (talk) 03:33, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

• Good job on the references, by the way.

Overall, the article is not too terribly far away from GA status, but it definitely needs a copy edit. Try to limit the number of lead-ins you use, as you use A TON. A simple reword would work for some of them as well. I'll put the article on hold for the time being. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:15, 1 March 2013 (UTC)

Passing. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 21:32, 2 March 2013 (UTC)