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Talk:2012 Delhi gang rape and murder/GA3

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Latest comment: 10 years ago by Binksternet in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

Latest comment: 10 years ago15 comments2 people in discussion
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Reviewer: Binksternet (talk · contribs) 01:03, 30 January 2014 (UTC)Reply

Okay, I'm reviewing again, now that the article has a new Legacy section. Binksternet (talk) 01:03, 30 January 2014 (UTC)Reply

  • Image check: all images are properly captioned and tagged, appropriate for use. Binksternet (talk) 19:34, 7 February 2014 (UTC)Reply
Text check
  • The wording of "the juvenile was declared to be a juvenile" needs to be given more context, perhaps something like "it was determined by the JJB that the juvenile would not be tried as an adult".
  • Yes, the juvenile's crime was "ghastly" but lets stick to less POV wording such as "extremely violent".
  • The sentence "Mukesh Singh, Vinay Sharma, Akshay Thakur and Pawan Gupta denied the charges" needs more context because Gupta said he accepted his guilt in an earlier statement. Perhaps the sentence can end with "in court."
  • What happened to Gangwar? Did he end his hunger strike?
According to his article he fasted for 16 days (no source).
The Times of India says 14 days: http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2013-01-08/delhi/36215274_1_protester-ends-hunger-strike-jantar-mantar. This fact could be brought into the article to supply closure. Binksternet (talk) 16:52, 9 February 2014 (UTC)Reply
  • This sentence has some problems: "Meanwhile the youths have intended they might move the court against the commissioner of police, seeking criminal proceedings against him for his 'irresponsible' move to book them on murder charges in the first place." The English is difficult to understand. The single quote marks should be double quote marks. If the youths never acted upon this expressed intent then it is not very important. Perhaps the sentence can simply say that the youths called the arrests "irresponsible". Binksternet (talk) 00:35, 8 February 2014 (UTC)Reply
  • Why did Abhijit Mukherjee differentiate between women student protestors and women non-student protestors? Why does it matter? Are only student protestors worthy of protesting?
This section seems OK to me. It seems to me to imply that the female protestors must be "dented" (damaged) painted ladies because respectable students are busy with their studies rather than out joining frivolous feminist protests.
If it was unclear to me, then it could be unclear to other readers. I think we need to add some context after the quote. How about "The remark was widely condemned as sexist.[1] His sister Sharmistha said that she and their father the president both disapproved.[2] Maharashtra Chief Minister Prithviraj Chavan also expressed disapproval.[3] Abhijit quickly withdrew his comment and apologised.[4]" Does that work? Or is that a little too much focus given to Abhijit? Binksternet (talk) 16:52, 9 February 2014 (UTC)Reply
  • I think "pertaining to crime against women" should be plural "crimes".
  • Spell out AFSPA for those unfamiliar.
  • Awkward wording: "and maximum punishment for rape as life imprisonment and not death penalty" should perhaps be changed to "and setting the maximum punishment for rape as life imprisonment rather than the death penalty".
  • Wikilink for Usha Mehra per WP:REDLINK, to build the encyclopedia.
  • Name the politician: "headed by the Union Home Secretary" should be "headed by Union Home Secretary Singh".
I don't know where you found the name "Singh".
Ah, I mean Union Home Secretary Raj Kumar Singh, since he was still serving at the time. Binksternet (talk) 00:27, 9 February 2014 (UTC)Reply
  • Capital 'P' for President Mukherjee. Wikilink of full name is appropriate for his first appearance as an acting president rather than his previous appearance as the father of Abhijit. Binksternet (talk) 19:31, 8 February 2014 (UTC)Reply
Let me know what you think so far. Should I be checking off the ones I've fixed or wait for you to do that? I think I've fixed all the ones that I didn't comment on. Gandydancer (talk) 22:10, 8 February 2014 (UTC)Reply
It helps me keep track of improvements if I am the one who strikes out lines or checks them off. Binksternet (talk) 00:20, 9 February 2014 (UTC)Reply
I struck the completed text points. Binksternet (talk) 16:52, 9 February 2014 (UTC)Reply
RE the sexist remarks, it is a lot but considering how much publicity it generated, I don't think that it's too much at all. I think I've finished all of your suggestions, if not let me know. As you see, I tried to make the dates consistent--hope that's OK since it may not be a good idea to make such changes while a review is in process...? Gandydancer (talk) 15:27, 10 February 2014 (UTC)Reply
Checklinks
  • However, the URL works quite well for me so there is nothing to correct.
  • Same with the following URLs – no need for corrective action:
  • That's it for Checklinks. I can help with updating URLs, especially using the archived URLs, if you ask me to do it. Binksternet (talk) 00:20, 9 February 2014 (UTC)Reply
Perhaps Rshrikanth will do it. If not, you will need to take care of it. Gandydancer (talk) 15:27, 10 February 2014 (UTC)Reply

  Done. GA listed. Congratulations to all that helped, especially Gandydancer and Rsrikanth05! Binksternet (talk) 21:04, 10 February 2014 (UTC)Reply

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