When Mr. Garrison agrees to let anyone protesting the war out of school early for a rally, all the kids pretend to care about the cause so as to get out of school early, even though they know little about the war. Some of the townspeople are protesting against the war, while others are supporting it. When the boys are interviewed outside the school for their views on what the Founding Fathers would think about this, it becomes clear that they do not know who the founding fathers were. Angered at the embarrassment, Garrison gives everybody an assignment to figure out an opinion on the Founders' view of the war. Stan, Kyle, and Kenny begin to study for their projects. Cartman, however, decides to take a different approach, trying (and failing) to induce a flashback of the colonial era, first by saying cliched flashback inducing dialog, and then by dropping a large rock on his own head.
Meanwhile, the people of the town are divided about the war, and after splitting in two, they both plan rallies: one pro-war (hawks), one anti-war (doves), both on the same day in the same place. They decided to use the boys to give their opinion about the war. However, the plan backfire because the boys knew nothing about the war, the parents interfered with their assignment and Cartman ending up in the hospital. This wind up having a great argument during both rallies, and in the end get into a huge fight where they begin to all kill each other. Meanwhile, Cartman electrocutes himself in water with a TiVo full of colonial documentaries from The History Channel in order to induce a flashback. He falls into a coma, and in his mind, he travels back to the colonial era in Philadelphia. With a single murder, he manages to get the job of delivering the Declaration of Independence from Thomas Jefferson's home to the Continental Congress for a vote; there, a great argument breaks out about whether or not to go to war against England, paralleling the events in town, which Cartman recognizes as being "very, very relevant".
Benjamin Franklin, voiced by TV producer Norman Lear (who also served as a creative consultant for this episode), shows up and announces that he believes the new country must not seem to be a war-monger to the rest of the world, but at the same time, it cannot appear to be weak either. Therefore, it must go to war, but allow protests. The United States will go to war on one hand, and use protest to oppose the war on the other. He refers to this as "saying one thing and doing another". One member refers to this as "having our cake and eating it too". Cartman wakes up and delivers his message to the town, who see the truth of that statement and then break out into song (a version of "I'm a Little Bit Country" by Marty Cooper, as made famous by Donny and Marie Osmond). In it, they celebrate their differences and their achievement (100 episodes); ending the song with the line, "For the war, against the war- who cares! 100 episodes!". The episode ends with Kyle saying "I hate this town. I really, really do."